Humor....I need Humor!

[Oddball]

if the waranty runs out at 30 im good still have till october lol

[Frank N. O.]

if the waranty runs out at 30 im good still have till october lol

I only got until the start of july

Frank

[Skid Kid]

Know the little label that says "Warranty void if seal broken", well scotch tape didn't fix mine...

[airtac]

I'm searching the house---gotta be an extended warranty around here somewhere---just gotta be............

[madpilot44]

Chuck Norris jokes, anyone?

Chuck Norris doesn't request clearances, he states intentions.

Chuck Norris never gets vectors to final . . . final gets vectored to Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is the only person ever to land on runway 37.

Hijackers squawk 7400 when Chuck Norris is on board

If you ever lose sight of Chuck Norris, check your six o'clock.

When Chuck Norris taxies onto the runway, incoming traffic is told to hold short

Chuck Norris never "loses" altitude, he simply gets rid of it when he no longer has any use for it.

Chuck Norris has never landed with a crosswind. The wind would never dare get cross with Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris flies, the altimeter setting is 00.00. Chuck Norris is never under pressure.

When the BASH condition is Red, planes don't fly. When the BASH condition is Norris, birds don't fly.

Chuck Norris has never had a midair collision, He has shot down any plane that has gotten within 10 miles

When told to break at the numbers, Chuck Norris politely reminded the controller that Chuck Norris cannot be broken and proceeded with the straight in.

Right of Way rules do not apply when Chuck Norris is flying. If you are flying toward Chuck Norris, you are wrong.

Chuck Norris doesn't shoot approaches...he kills them.

Chuck Norris is never off of glideslope, the glideslope is off of Chuck Norris

Chuck Yeager broke the sound barrier with his Bell X-1 Jet. Chuck Norris broke the sound barrier with his fist.

Chuck Norris doesn't manage operational risk...he seeks it.

An ejection seat is not safe until Chuck Norris gets out of it.

Chuck Norris doesn't need crew rest...he never sleeps.

Chuck Norris was once denied a clearance...once

Minimum Safe Altitudes do not apply when Chuck Norris is airborne, if you are in the air when Chuck Norris is flying you are never safe.

Chuck Norris is never given the instructions "when able" . Chuck Norris is never unable to do anything.

Favorable winds are always in the same direction as Chuck Norris' flight path

Chuck Norris has never had to adapt his eyes to the dark. His infrared vision is working perfectly fine.

T-45 Anti Icing Capabilities: Pitot Heat, 5th Stage Bleed Air, Chuck Norris

A permanent TFR surrounds Chuck Norris...no one is safe.

Chuck Norris cannot be tracked on radar, if he appears, it is too late; you are already dead.

A good flight for Chuck Norris is a bad flight for you.

Leading cause of disorientation for pilots: Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris once moved a stationary front.

Chuck Norris is the only person to graduate SERE School via correspondence.

Chuck Norris isn't holding, he is circling above his victims.

The weather outlook for the area around Chuck Norris: 100% Chance of Pain

[gibbo_335]

I'm searching the house---gotta be an extended warranty around here somewhere---just gotta be............

  HA HA .... just give up Airtac, I can't find mine either 

[Mike]

Chuck Norris never "loses" altitude, he simply gets rid of it when he no longer has any use for it.

Chuck Norris doesn't shoot approaches...he kills them.

Chuck Norris was once denied a clearance...once

HA HA!! Those are great!!
You probably have to be familiar with the Chuck Norris jokes first....
I had no idea there was a whole set of aviation jokes!!

We should make a t-shirt!

[PiperGirl]

A dog is truly a man's best friend.
If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.

Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour.
When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you!? 

[airtac]

Thanks PG, I'm sleeping on the couch tonite just for ASKING my wife about that::knockedout::

[Rooster Cruiser]

For my worldwide friends, Medicare is the US Government run medical insurance for senior citizens:


MEDICARE COVERAGE IN A NUTSHELL 

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, "Hello."
"Mrs. Sanders, please."
"Speaking."

"Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When  your doctor sent your    husband's biopsy to the lab yesterday, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived  as well, and we are now uncertain which one is your husband's.  Frankly the results are either bad or
terrible."

"What do you mean?" Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.

"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for AIDS.  We can't tell which is your  husband's."

"That's dreadful!  Can't you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Sanders.
"Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time."
"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"

"The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town.  If he finds his way home, don't sleep  with him."   

[TheSoccerMom]

Pipergirl,

You are SO right!  A dog is a woman's best friend, too....  well, maybe tied with an airplane, OKAY, OKAY!!!   

                           

[Baradium]

Pipergirl,

You are SO right!  A dog is a woman's best friend, too....  well, maybe tied with an airplane, OKAY, OKAY!!!   

                           

The first time I read that I read "well, maybe tied to an airplane" and just thought  "poor dog!"

[Oddball]

Ok im getting images from national lampoons national vaction when chevy chase ties the dog to the rear bumper (fender for you american types) and drives off   

[Baradium]

Ok im getting images from national lampoons national vaction when checy chase ties the dog to the rear bumper (fender for you american types) and drives off   

Ian: the fender is the front side panel on a car, bumper was right. 


And yeah, I had a similiar mental image...

[Oddball]

Ok im getting images from national lampoons national vaction when checy chase ties the dog to the rear bumper (fender for you american types) and drives off   

Ian: the fender is the front side panel on a car, bumper was right. 


And yeah, I had a similiar mental image...

you would of thought i would of known that since im a car mech as well  just blame it on me just home from night shift