For you southern fans, Lewis Grizzard has a version...he claims his was first...
clearly a non-navy version!
Stages of Drunkeness
The Ten Stages of Drunkenss
according to Lewis Grizzard
Witty and charming (part 1)
This is after one or two drinks. The tongue is loosened and can yet remain in step with the brain. In the witty and charming stage one is likely to use foriegn idioms and phrases such as au contraire in place of "No way, Jose" or "Bull -sheyet"
Rich and famous
By the third drink, you begin mentioning that the little 380SL you've had your eye on down at the Mercedes place.
Benevolent
You'll buy her a mercedes, too. It's only money.
Just one more and We'll eat
a stall tactic
To hell with Dinner
Grizzard: Just one more and then we'll eat!
Patriotic
The war stories Begin
Warm up the Enola Gay
"We would have won in 'Nam, but..."
Invisible
So this is what the inside of of ladies room looks like
Witty and charming (part 2)
You know, you don't sweat much for a fat girl.
Bulletproof
Bull-sheyet, gimme them keys, I can drive.
Cryin' about your daddy drunk.
Grizzard:You don't need to be able to make a lot of sense when you reach CAYDD, nor is it necessary to be able to make sound intelligible to other forms of life.