Author Topic: Humor....I need Humor!  (Read 1423917 times)

Offline FlyboyGil

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Re: Michael Jackson outsourced to India
« Reply #1050 on: June 16, 2007, 05:14:50 PM »
Now for a truly confusing video...  at least they inserted english subtitles for everyone who don't understand Hindi.

I guess even the King of Pop is not immune.

This thing is like a car crash, you can't NOT look.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtJRNyPK-lc


I want the last 4 minutes of my life back!!  >:( >:( >:(
« Last Edit: June 17, 2007, 04:03:57 AM by FlyboyGil »
IF YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING NICE, YOU'RE PROBABLY AT THE ICE CAPADES

Offline gibbo_335

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1051 on: June 17, 2007, 05:50:24 AM »
 :-\ not sure quite what to make of that one RC .....maybe a few more  ::drinking:: ::drinking:: ::drinking:: and it'll start to make sense  ;D ;D ::loony::
YEWWWwwwwwwwww

Offline gibbo_335

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1052 on: June 17, 2007, 05:52:21 AM »
This can really be a SERIOUS PROBLEM. 

I've modified our checklists to take care of it.

Mom,  ??? do you think that Pink handbag might ......oh never mind :-\   ;D ;D ;D
YEWWWwwwwwwwww

Offline Mike

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1053 on: June 17, 2007, 06:05:45 AM »
This can really be a SERIOUS PROBLEM. 

I've modified our checklists to take care of it.

Mom,  ??? do you think that Pink handbag might ......oh never mind :-\   ;D ;D ;D

HA HA !!! ::rofl:: ::rofl::

oh man! If I see her before she reads this you HAVE to let me use your line !!!!


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Offline FlyboyGil

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Re: More Swedish Jokes
« Reply #1054 on: June 17, 2007, 03:31:23 PM »
One day, Sven had finished a hard day of work at the mill in Fergus Falls, Minnesota.  He walked home, anticipating the delicious meal his wife Lena was certain to have made for him.  However, when he turned the corner on his block he was surprised to see that his house was dark.  Walking into his house, he noticed that not only was the house dark, there was no food being cooked in the kitchen and there was absolutely no sign of Lena.

Sven went searching throughout the house for Lena, turning lights on as he went.  "Lena!  Lena, where are you?" he called out.  He climbed the stairs to the second floor and turned on the light in their bedroom, and that is when he saw Lena sitting on the bed with no clothes on!  "Lena!" Sven cried out, "Why are you sitting on ze bed vith no clothes on?"  Lena replied, "Vell I haff no clothes to wear."

"Nonsense!" Sven said as he marched to the closet and threw it open, "Just look at dis closet... One Dress! Two Dress! Three Dress!  ...Hello Ole... Four Dress!  Five Dress!..."

Flyboyg.....er, ah, Chuck is that you? ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
IF YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING NICE, YOU'RE PROBABLY AT THE ICE CAPADES

Offline gibbo_335

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1055 on: June 17, 2007, 07:58:06 PM »
This can really be a SERIOUS PROBLEM. 

I've modified our checklists to take care of it.

Mom,  ??? do you think that Pink handbag might ......oh never mind :-\   ;D ;D ;D

HA HA !!! ::rofl:: ::rofl::

oh man! If I see her before she reads this you HAVE to let me use your line !!!!

Hiya Mike....No Problems mate...say hi to her from me too  ;D
YEWWWwwwwwwwww

Offline Mike

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1056 on: June 19, 2007, 09:14:05 PM »
This is a classic and might already be in here but it always makes me chuckle:

A Photographer for CNN was assigned to cover southern California's wildfires last year.
 
He wanted pictures of the heroic work the firefighters were doing as they battled the blazes.
When the photographer arrived on the scene, he realized that the smoke was so thick it would seriously impede, or even make impossible, his getting good photographs from the ground level.
He requested permission from his boss to rent a plane and take photos from the air.

His request was approved and he used his cell phone to call the local county airport to charter a flight.
He was told a single engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport.

Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger.
 
He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, "Let's go!"

The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and roared down the runway.
Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot, "Fly over the valley and make two or three low passes so I can take some pictures of the fires on the hillsides."
 
"Why?" asked the pilot.
 "Because I'm a photographer for CNN," he responded. "And I need to get some close-up shots."

The pilot was strangely silent for a moment;  finally he stammered,
"So, what you're telling me, is you're NOT my flight instructor???"

 ::eek::


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Offline Mike

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1057 on: June 19, 2007, 09:20:14 PM »
Soccermom sent this riddle to me

You are driving in a car at a constant speed.  On your left side is a drop off (The ground is 18-20 inches below the level you are travel ing on), and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you.  In front of you is a galloping horse which is the same size as your car and you c annot overtake it.  Behind you is another galloping horse.  Both horses are also traveling at the same speed as you.  What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?


For the answer read the next post !








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Offline Mike

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1058 on: June 19, 2007, 09:22:13 PM »






* Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round. *  ;D


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Offline Rooster Cruiser

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1059 on: June 19, 2007, 10:02:41 PM »
Hehe.  One of my favorite ones, Mike!   ::bow::
"Me and Earl was haulin' chickens / On a flatbed outta Wiggins..."

Wolf Creek Pass, by CW McCall

Offline Rooster Cruiser

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Truck Driver Humor
« Reply #1060 on: June 21, 2007, 05:48:46 PM »
Three men die, and their souls all waft up to the Pearly Gates around the same time.  When they get there St Peter confronts them one at a time.

The first man approaches St Peter.  St Pete says to him, "You Sir.  What was your IQ when you were alive?"
The man says, "My IQ was 210."
"Goodness gracious me!" Exclaims St Pete, "What an incredibly intelligent man!  Don't tell me, let me guess...  You were a Doctor when you were alive?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact I was."
"Come right on in, Doc." Replies St Pete, "Come right on in."

The second man approaches St Peter.  St Pete says to him, "You Sir.  What was your IQ when you were alive?
The man says, "My IQ was 195."
"Holy Smoke! Two incredibly intelligent men in a row!  Don't tell me, let me guess... You were a Lawyer when you were alive?"
The man replies, "Yes, as a matter of fact I was."
"Come right on in, Mr Lawyer.  Come right on in."

The third man approaches St Peter.  St Pete says to him, "You Sir.  What was your IQ when you were alive?"
The man scratches his head and says, "Oh, I dunno....  five maybe?  Ten?"

St Peter is just shaking his head in disgust as he hears this.  He looks at the man and says, "Driver, does your Dispatcher know where you are!?!?"

 ::rofl:: ::rofl:: ::rofl:: ::rofl::
« Last Edit: June 22, 2007, 05:00:46 AM by Rooster Cruiser »
"Me and Earl was haulin' chickens / On a flatbed outta Wiggins..."

Wolf Creek Pass, by CW McCall

Offline cj5_pilot

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1061 on: June 22, 2007, 07:25:16 AM »
Seen at the urinal at a hangar in Wolfe Lake, Alaska:

"if you have a short prop or low manifold pressure please step closer....the next pilot may not be equipped with floats!"
The average pilot, despite the sometimes swaggering exterior, is very much capable of such feelings as love, affection, intimacy and caring. These feelings just don't involve anyone else.

Offline Frank N. O.

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1062 on: June 22, 2007, 02:18:26 PM »
What a joke to wake up to!  ::rofl:: ::rofl:: ::rofl::

That's a great variation on the std. message for urinals!

Frank
"When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return."
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Offline Rooster Cruiser

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1063 on: June 22, 2007, 07:47:56 PM »
Sign in the Men's room in Gwinner ND

"Please help us keep this bathroom clean.

Aim as if you were shooting an ILS to Minimums with 10 minutes fuel on board."
"Me and Earl was haulin' chickens / On a flatbed outta Wiggins..."

Wolf Creek Pass, by CW McCall

Offline FlyboyGil

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1064 on: June 25, 2007, 04:30:21 AM »
 ::)
IF YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING NICE, YOU'RE PROBABLY AT THE ICE CAPADES