Author Topic: Humor....I need Humor!  (Read 1403510 times)

Offline Callisto

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #195 on: March 20, 2006, 05:42:02 PM »
Love that SNL Clip!

Can you imagine Iceman and Capt. Oveur in the same cockpit! ;D ;D ;D



 :D That would be so dangerous
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Offline C310RCaptian

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #196 on: March 20, 2006, 09:50:17 PM »
Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya."
"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"
"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda."There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."
"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry."
 Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?"
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned."
"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"
"Well, Brenda... no. In fact, he got out three times to pee."

What a way to go.....

fireflyr

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #197 on: March 21, 2006, 03:48:57 PM »
Love that SNL Clip!

Can you imagine Iceman and Capt. Oveur in the same cockpit! ;D ;D ;D



I can just see it---"so, tell me Iceman, have you ever been to a Turkish Bath??"

Offline Mike

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #198 on: March 21, 2006, 05:18:07 PM »
Love that SNL Clip!

Can you imagine Iceman and Capt. Oveur in the same cockpit!  ;D ;D ;D



I can just see it---"so, tell me Iceman, have you ever been to a Turkish Bath??"

Looking at the locker room scene in Top Gun I am sure Iceman can answer this question as well:

"Have you ever seen a grown man naked?"


HA HA !! :D


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Offline Ted_Stryker

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #199 on: March 21, 2006, 05:34:07 PM »
Love that SNL Clip!

Can you imagine Iceman and Capt. Oveur in the same cockpit! ;D ;D ;D



I can just see it---"so, tell me Iceman, have you ever been to a Turkish Bath??"

Looking at the locker room scene in Top Gun I am sure Iceman can answer this question as well:

"Have you ever seen a grown man naked?"


HA HA !! :D

LOL!!!!!  I would imagine that locker room would clear quick when they hear "Aww... Iceman's a boy dog!"  :o ;D
We're going to have to come in pretty low! It's just one of those things you have to do... when you land! -- Ted Striker - Airplane!

Offline Plthijnx

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #200 on: March 21, 2006, 05:43:53 PM »
especially when someone asks "do you like it when he grabs on to your leg and rubs up and down on it?" YYYEAH! there's a visual for ya!
The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and a good bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities in life to experience all three at the same time. - Unknown

fireflyr

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #201 on: March 21, 2006, 06:21:28 PM »
Love that SNL Clip!

Can you imagine Iceman and Capt. Oveur in the same cockpit!  ;D ;D ;D



I can just see it---"so, tell me Iceman, have you ever been to a Turkish Bath??"

Looking at the locker room scene in Top Gun I am sure Iceman can answer this question as well:

"Have you ever seen a grown man naked?"


HA HA !! :D

LOL!!!!! I would imagine that locker room would clear quick when they hear "Aww... Iceman's a boy dog!" :o ;D

I like my counselor Troy visual better---

Offline Ted_Stryker

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #202 on: March 21, 2006, 06:24:06 PM »
Love that SNL Clip!

Can you imagine Iceman and Capt. Oveur in the same cockpit! ;D ;D ;D



I can just see it---"so, tell me Iceman, have you ever been to a Turkish Bath??"

Looking at the locker room scene in Top Gun I am sure Iceman can answer this question as well:

"Have you ever seen a grown man naked?"


HA HA !! :D

LOL!!!!! I would imagine that locker room would clear quick when they hear "Aww... Iceman's a boy dog!" :o ;D

I like my counselor Troy visual better---

:) :)  Me too.... in it's original form too :) :)
We're going to have to come in pretty low! It's just one of those things you have to do... when you land! -- Ted Striker - Airplane!

Offline Plthijnx

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #203 on: March 22, 2006, 04:14:39 PM »
Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out....
"Pa!  You need to go out and fix the outhouse!"

Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse."

Ma yells back, "Yes there is, now git out there and fix it."

So......Pa mosies out to the outhouse,  looks around and yells back,
"Ma!  There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse!  "

Ma replies, "Stick yur head in the hole!"

Pa yells back, "I ain't stickin my head in that hole!"

Ma says, "Ya have to stick yur head in the hole to see what to fix."

So with that, Pa sticks his head in the hole, looks around and yells back,
"Ma!  There ain't nuthin wrong with this outhouse!"

Ma hollers back, "Now take your head out of the hole!"

Pa proceeds to pull his head out of  the hole, then starts yelling,
"Ma! Help!  My beard is stuck in the cracks in the toilet seat!"

To which Ma replies, "Hurt's, don't it ?!"
The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and a good bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities in life to experience all three at the same time. - Unknown

Offline Plthijnx

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #204 on: March 22, 2006, 04:16:43 PM »
At a world brewing conventio n , the CEOs of various brewing organizations
retired to the bar at the end of each day's conference.

Bruce, CEO of Fosters, shouted to the Barman: "In 'Strylya, we make the best bloody beer in the world, so pour me a bloody Fosters, mate."

Auggie, CEO of Budweiser, calls out next: "In the States, we brew the finest beers of the world, and I make the king of them all, gimme a Bud."

Hans steps up next: "In Germany ve invented das beer , ferdamit. Give me ein Becks, ya ist der real King of beers, danke."

Paddy, CEO of Guinness, steps forward: "Barman, would ya give me a diet coke with ice and lemon? Thanks." The others stare at him in stunned silence, amazement written all over their faces.

Eventually Bruce asks: "Are you not going to have a Guinness, Pat?"

Paddy replies "Well, if you fool pansies aren't adrinkin', then neither am I."
The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and a good bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities in life to experience all three at the same time. - Unknown

Offline Frank N. O.

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #205 on: March 22, 2006, 05:29:18 PM »
Ok to answer an old question first: I posted the video here since it's a joke on Top Gun and I wasn't sure it belonged there.

Btw, as mentioned before then Val Kilmer didn't want to do Top Gun so it was easy to make fun of it I guess, maybe even welcome as a payback :D

Him and Over in the same cockpit? Oh dear god almighty on horseback!!!

Btw, speaking of women I just remembered that there is already a flying babe (I use the term babe with all due respect to looks and capabilities alike so it's not meant offensively but on the contrary as a term of a very capable wonderful woman) around, and her callsign is really close to one already mentioned tons of times: Ice!

Frank
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fireflyr

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #206 on: March 24, 2006, 10:43:14 AM »
OMIGOD plyhijnx,

"hurts don't it"  put me over the LMAO threshold---must be the visual I conjured!    It's 0241 and my wife yelled at me for laughing so loud it woke her up----I blamed you, of course.

Offline Plthijnx

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #207 on: March 24, 2006, 06:14:03 PM »
OMIGOD plyhijnx,

"hurts don't it" put me over the LMAO threshold---must be the visual I conjured! It's 0241 and my wife yelled at me for laughing so loud it woke her up----I blamed you, of course.

LOL! yeah, i'll take the blame on that one!
The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and a good bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities in life to experience all three at the same time. - Unknown

Offline Plthijnx

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #208 on: March 24, 2006, 06:16:23 PM »
At the Olympics, the US wrestler was about to start his match with the defending world champion, a Russian wrestler renown for his "pretzel hold". The American coach told his wrestler " Don't let him get you in the pretzel hold. No one has been able to get out of it, and everyone he's gotten in the pretzel hold has been pinned."

In the middle of the second period, the Russian got the American in the pretzel hold. The American coach couldn't bear to watch. He went to the locker room to wait for his wrestler. Soon, to his surprise, he heard the Star Spangled Banner being played. He ran to the podium and saw his wrestler receive the gold medal. When he came down off the podium, the coach asked what happened.

"well, he got me in the pretzel hold", the wrestler answered, " and I was trying to stay off my back, when I saw a pair of testicles hanging down, right in front of my face."
"What did you do?" asked the coach.
"I did the only thing I could - I bit them. You wouldn't believe the rush of energy you get when you bite your own boys!"
The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and a good bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities in life to experience all three at the same time. - Unknown

Offline Frank N. O.

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #209 on: March 24, 2006, 06:41:24 PM »
Hmmm, me thinks I'm not the only one that listens to internet comedy radio, specifically "The Joke Man" ;)

Frank
"When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return."
Leonardo da Vinci