Author Topic: Humor....I need Humor!  (Read 1369270 times)

Offline Fabo

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1140 on: August 22, 2007, 07:28:55 PM »
Do you know what "TENJOOBERRYMUDS"  ??? means? After reading the following conversation you will be able to understand the term

RS: "Tenjooberrymuds."

G: "You're welcome."

Gibbooo! I can cach all the others,  but TENJOOBERRYMUDS is still a secret!!! Any help???

Usual act of decorum usually after someone has given somthing to you. Replied by "You are welcome", "No problem at all", "Any time" and similar  ;)
"When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return."

Offline AirScorp

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1141 on: August 22, 2007, 10:11:31 PM »
Placebo? I just remembered a Pink Floyd song: "Blue Skies, blue skies  ::whistle::"
It's all Greek to me!

Offline want2fly

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1142 on: August 23, 2007, 11:54:12 AM »
did you ever tell him the truth? or did you just keep it a secret?

We didn't want the poor doctor to have to come up with another "medication". ::whistle::

they should have give the guy sugar cubes as "medication" after that, then he would still be running around and yelling random junk.
If all else fails, read the directions.

Offline Fabo

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1143 on: August 23, 2007, 03:53:53 PM »
Placebo? I just remembered a Pink Floyd song: "Blue Skies, blue skies  ::whistle::"

Hmm... I think it was Good-bye blue skies, but whatever... nice song... gotta have learning to fly played.
"When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return."

Offline AirScorp

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1144 on: August 23, 2007, 07:11:09 PM »
Of course it's Goodbye blue sky! Just said that because placebos were often referred to as Blue-skies!

Put on some Tom Petty too while you're at it!

PS. If I need any treatment, I'd take (flying the) blue skies anyday..
It's all Greek to me!

Offline FlyboyGil

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1145 on: August 24, 2007, 02:13:32 AM »
TEN THINGS MEN KNOW FOR SURE ABOUT WOMEN.



1.



2.



3.



4.



5.



6.



7.



8.



9.



10. They have breasts.
IF YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING NICE, YOU'RE PROBABLY AT THE ICE CAPADES

Offline FlyboyGil

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1146 on: August 24, 2007, 02:21:41 AM »
 It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test.



Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it!

Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence.



Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer. OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.





1. What do you put in a toaster?




















Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," give up now and do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.




2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?



















Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said "water", proceed to question 3.






3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?



















Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," why the hell are you still reading these??? If you said "glass," go on to Question 4.




4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is ?flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany..) Anyway, during the flight, TWO engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany.. Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany, West Germany, or no man's land"?



















Answer: You don't bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop. If you said, "You don't bury survivors", proceed to the next question.






5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus; In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?

















Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!




Now pass this along to all your friends and pray they do better than you.

PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions ....guess that means I'm not quite ready for the alzheimers unit at the local nursing home!
IF YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING NICE, YOU'RE PROBABLY AT THE ICE CAPADES

Offline Baradium

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1147 on: August 25, 2007, 05:41:22 AM »


"Well I know what's right, I got just one life
In a world that keeps on pushin' me around
But I stand my ground, and I won't back down"
  -Johnny Cash "I won't back Down"

Offline Frank N. O.

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1148 on: August 25, 2007, 05:50:56 AM »
Uhm, shouldn't that be right instead of left? Ppulling more on the left would turn the sled right wouldn't it? Like if you're flying a conventional parallel twin and there's more thrust on the left engine then it would yaw to the right, right?

Frank
"When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return."
Leonardo da Vinci

Offline Baradium

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1149 on: August 25, 2007, 06:02:47 AM »
Good catch frank.



"Well I know what's right, I got just one life
In a world that keeps on pushin' me around
But I stand my ground, and I won't back down"
  -Johnny Cash "I won't back Down"

Offline FlyboyGil

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1150 on: August 26, 2007, 02:30:41 AM »
The Things men say, and what they really mean


"I'M GOING FISHING"
Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

"IT'S A GUY THING"
Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical".

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Means: "I have no idea how it works."

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".
Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Means: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES".
Means: "The girl selling them on the corner had great tits."

"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING".
Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Means: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."
Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE"
Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC"
Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."

"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK"
Means: "I make the messes, she cleans them up."
IF YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING NICE, YOU'RE PROBABLY AT THE ICE CAPADES

Offline Rooster Cruiser

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1151 on: August 26, 2007, 05:18:16 AM »
Good ones, Gil!!!  I had to email them out to all my buddies!   ::rofl:: ::rofl:: ::rofl:: ::bow:: ::bow:: ::bow::
"Me and Earl was haulin' chickens / On a flatbed outta Wiggins..."

Wolf Creek Pass, by CW McCall

Offline Frank N. O.

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1152 on: August 26, 2007, 08:08:29 PM »
Thanks Baradium, I was a little unsure if I was right since the mistake wasn't mentioned in the post.

Ok, here's something from computerworld.dk, a danish computermagazine that held a contest for the best IT-joke and the one that won is so funny that I'm translating it from danish and posting it here.

Quote
A man in a hot-air balloon realised he was lost. He reduced his altitude and saw a woman on the ground. He descended lower and called out to the woman "Excuse me can you help me? I scheduled a meeting with a friend an hour ago but I don't know where I am!"

The woman answered: "You're roughly 30 foot above sea-level at 50deg 41' 47" north lattitude and 10deg 12' 47" west longitude."

"You must be a technician", the man said.

"I am", the woman replied, "but how did you know that?"

"Well", the man said, "everything you said was technically correct but I have no idea what to use the information for. And fact is that I still don't know where I am. The only thing I've gotten out of your help is that I've gotten even more late".

The woman on the ground replied: "You must be a leader"

"I am", the man replied, "but how could you know that?"

"Simple. You don't know where you are or where you're going. You rose up with the help of hot air. You made an agreement you're incapable of keeping, and you expect people below you to solve your problem. The fact is that you're in the same situation as before you met me but now it's suddently my fault!"

Frank
"When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return."
Leonardo da Vinci

Offline Rooster Cruiser

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1153 on: August 29, 2007, 06:46:47 PM »
I dunno if this one has been posted here before or not.  Most US readers will understand!  Hehe.


"Kentucky Vasectomy"

 
A Kentucky couple, both certified rednecks, had nine children.  They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed."

The doctor gladly started the required procedure and asked them what finally made them make the decision do this.

Why after nine children, the husband replied,  they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in the United States was Mexican, and they didn't want to take a chance on having a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish.
"Me and Earl was haulin' chickens / On a flatbed outta Wiggins..."

Wolf Creek Pass, by CW McCall

Offline AirScorp

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1154 on: August 29, 2007, 07:29:33 PM »
 ::rofl::
It's all Greek to me!