Author Topic: Humor....I need Humor!  (Read 1369384 times)

Offline Mike

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1470 on: December 21, 2007, 04:01:49 AM »
Now, HERE is a guy with talent.




HAHA!!

 is this guy in our forum??

looks like he could be....


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Offline Rooster Cruiser

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1471 on: December 21, 2007, 04:11:34 AM »
Quote
Now, HERE is a guy with talent.

Mom!  Shame on you for posting this pic of me on the internet without my permission!!!   ::sulk:: ::knockedout:: ::complaining: ::loony::


Hehe.  Just Kidding.

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Offline TheSoccerMom

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1472 on: December 21, 2007, 05:14:24 AM »
Aww, Rooster...  I figured you wouldn't mind!    ::bow::
(Nice job, by the way!!!)   |:)\       

 ::drinking::    ::drinking::    ::drinking::    ::drinking::   ::drinking::
Don't make me come back there!!!!

Offline G-man

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1473 on: December 21, 2007, 05:46:05 AM »
My ole lady has been hounding me since the day after thanksgiving to get the damn Christmas lights up. I told her that there are important games to watch and important threads to read and she just wouldn't let up.

Well I finally gave up if for no other reason than to shut her up so I could get back to all my friends on CW. So what do y'all think of my work?

Now she'll probably be bugging me to take the sunsabitches back down in a week or two.

Life may not be the party we hoped for---but while we're here--we might as well dance..........

Offline Frank N. O.

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1474 on: December 21, 2007, 06:27:19 AM »
According to what I heard then the Stella case was blown out of proportion by the media, and twisted. The way I heard it she wasn't driving, nor was the car moving at the time it happend, and she only wanted some thousand dollars not millions and millions. A female comic joked about that, she said: study for years and years or spill hot coffee in my crotch, hmmm. Actually, I don't think that money is any good with the severa burns I read she has, at least second degree burns on a massive part of her body, and from what I heard, such burn injuries aren't nice to have in daily life.

Ok, I'll return to catch up on posting later. It's 7:26, I woke up half an hour ago, had a morning walk and just say Chey had posted in the other forum, finally a sign of life from her after 6 weeks.

Frank
"When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return."
Leonardo da Vinci

Offline Oddball

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1475 on: December 24, 2007, 09:03:26 PM »
The airliner pushed back from the gate; the flight attendant gave the passengers the usual information regarding seat belts, etc... Finally, she said, 'Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to your destination.'

Ed, sitting in the eighth row, thought to himself, 'Did I hear her right? Is the captain a woman?'

When the attendant came by with the drink cart he said, 'Did I understand you right? Is the captain a woman?'

'Yes,' said the attendant, 'In fact, this entire crew is female.'

'My Goodness' said Ed, 'I'd better have two scotch and sodas. I don't know what to think with only women up there in the cockpit.'

'That's another thing sir,' said the attendant, 'We No Longer Call It The Cock Pit... It's The Box Office.'
"You can teach monkeys to fly better than that!"and "spring chicken to sh**e hawk in one easy lesson"

Offline Mike

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1476 on: December 25, 2007, 01:11:06 AM »
According to what I heard then the Stella case was blown out of proportion by the media, and twisted. The way I heard it she wasn't driving, nor was the car moving at the time it happend, and she only wanted some thousand dollars not millions and millions. A female comic joked about that, she said: study for years and years or spill hot coffee in my crotch, hmmm. Actually, I don't think that money is any good with the severa burns I read she has, at least second degree burns on a massive part of her body, and from what I heard, such burn injuries aren't nice to have in daily life.

Ok, I'll return to catch up on posting later. It's 7:26, I woke up half an hour ago, had a morning walk and just say Chey had posted in the other forum, finally a sign of life from her after 6 weeks.

Frank

that may be. I have a friend who's a lawyer and she said the same thing.
I actually hope that the other cases in that post are blown out of proportion as well.
If not, I don't think I'll be able to count on these people to pay for my social security 30 years down the road . . .  ::banghead:: ::sick::


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Offline Baradium

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1477 on: December 25, 2007, 02:20:04 AM »

that may be. I have a friend who's a lawyer and she said the same thing.
I actually hope that the other cases in that post are blown out of proportion as well.
If not, I don't think I'll be able to count on these people to pay for my social security 30 years down the road . . .  ::banghead:: ::sick::

Hey Mike, I guess you missed that snopes says all the other cases were made up...  ;)
"Well I know what's right, I got just one life
In a world that keeps on pushin' me around
But I stand my ground, and I won't back down"
  -Johnny Cash "I won't back Down"

Offline Rooster Cruiser

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1478 on: December 25, 2007, 04:12:12 AM »

that may be. I have a friend who's a lawyer and she said the same thing.
I actually hope that the other cases in that post are blown out of proportion as well.
If not, I don't think I'll be able to count on these people to pay for my social security 30 years down the road . . .  ::banghead:: ::sick::

Hey Mike, I guess you missed that snopes says all the other cases were made up...  ;)

He did.  Mike, I still don't count on these people to pay my social security even 20 years from now.  Better start saving up on 401k dude.   ::whistle::
"Me and Earl was haulin' chickens / On a flatbed outta Wiggins..."

Wolf Creek Pass, by CW McCall

Offline Baradium

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1479 on: December 25, 2007, 06:22:54 AM »

that may be. I have a friend who's a lawyer and she said the same thing.
I actually hope that the other cases in that post are blown out of proportion as well.
If not, I don't think I'll be able to count on these people to pay for my social security 30 years down the road . . .  ::banghead:: ::sick::

Hey Mike, I guess you missed that snopes says all the other cases were made up...  ;)

He did.  Mike, I still don't count on these people to pay my social security even 20 years from now.  Better start saving up on 401k dude.   ::whistle::


What he said....  best not to have to rely on anyone else.  Especially these days.
"Well I know what's right, I got just one life
In a world that keeps on pushin' me around
But I stand my ground, and I won't back down"
  -Johnny Cash "I won't back Down"

Offline Oddball

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1480 on: December 25, 2007, 06:03:24 PM »


Great pilot sayings, take heed!!

"Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death .. I Shall Fear No Evil.  For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing."
               - At the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base Kadena, Japan
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"You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3."
               - Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)
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"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."

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"Blue water Navy truism:  There are more planes in the ocean than submarines in the sky."
               - From an old carrier sailor
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"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe."

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"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."

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"Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another expensive flying club."

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"What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, .... the pilot dies."

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"Never trade luck for skill."

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The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are:
"Why is it doing that?"
"Where are we?"
and "Oh S...!"

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"Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers."

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"Progress in airline flying:  now a flight attendant can get a pilot pregnant."

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"Airspeed, altitude and brains.  Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight."

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"A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a row is prevarication."

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"I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous."

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"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!"

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"Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries."

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"Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it."

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"When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten."

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"Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on a sunny day."

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Advice given to RAF pilots during WWII:  "When a prang (crash) seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slow and gently as possible."

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"The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you."
               - Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
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"A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to its maximum."
               - Jon McBride, astronaut
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"If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash as possible."
               - Bob Hoover (renowned aerobatic and test pilot)
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"Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you."

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"There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime."
               - Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970
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"If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."

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Basic Flying Rules:  "Try to stay in the middle of the air.  Do not go near the edges of it.  The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space.  It is much more difficult to fly there."

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"You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal."

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As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives, the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks, "What happened?"
The pilot's reply: "I don't know, I just got here myself!"
 
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"You can teach monkeys to fly better than that!"and "spring chicken to sh**e hawk in one easy lesson"

Offline Mike

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1481 on: December 25, 2007, 07:11:21 PM »

that may be. I have a friend who's a lawyer and she said the same thing.
I actually hope that the other cases in that post are blown out of proportion as well.
If not, I don't think I'll be able to count on these people to pay for my social security 30 years down the road . . .  ::banghead:: ::sick::

Hey Mike, I guess you missed that snopes says all the other cases were made up...  ;)

He did.  Mike, I still don't count on these people to pay my social security even 20 years from now.  Better start saving up on 401k dude.   ::whistle::


What he said....  best not to have to rely on anyone else.  Especially these days.

Ok, yeah I missed that part....

Well, maybe Chicken Wings will make me rich one day so I can retire....  ::) ::whistle::


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Offline Fabo

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1482 on: December 25, 2007, 07:34:22 PM »
"Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death .. I Shall Fear No Evil.  For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing."
               - At the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base Kadena, Japan

Reminds me..

-Shanwick control, this is AFxxx... request FL600
-AFxxx, confirm 600?
-Affirm.
-Well... if you think you can, cleared for FL600..
-Roger, descend 800 to 600..
"When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return."

Offline Rooster Cruiser

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1483 on: December 25, 2007, 09:37:23 PM »
Quote
"A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a row is prevarication."

The first time this was sent to me, it ended "three in a row is provocation."
"Me and Earl was haulin' chickens / On a flatbed outta Wiggins..."

Wolf Creek Pass, by CW McCall

Offline Oddball

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1484 on: December 25, 2007, 11:27:25 PM »
was chuck pilot in command of this one?
"You can teach monkeys to fly better than that!"and "spring chicken to sh**e hawk in one easy lesson"