Humor....I need Humor!

[Plthijnx]

Three old pilots are walking on the ramp. First one says, “Windy, isn’t it?”
Second says, “No, its Thursday!”
Third one says, “So am I. Lest go get a beer.”

[Plthijnx]

Pilot: Control tower, what time is it?
Control tower: What airline is this?
Pilot: What difference does that make?
Control tower: Well if it is UA, it is 6:00p.m.; if it is TWA, it is 1800 hours; if it is Ozark, the big hand is on the…..”

[Plthijnx]

“I’ve never flown before, said the nervous old lady to the pilot. “You will bring me down safely, won’t you?
“All I can say ma’am,” said the pilot, “is that I’ve never left anyone up there yet!”

[Plthijnx]

A jet ran into some turbulent weather. To keep the passengers calm the flight attendants brought out the beverage carts. “I’d like a soda,” said a passenger in the first row. Moving along, the attendant asked the man behind her if he would like something. “Yes, I would,” he replied. “Give me whatever the pilot is drinking!”

[Baradium]

Pilot: Control tower, what time is it?
Control tower: What airline is this?
Pilot: What difference does that make?
Control tower: Well if it is UA, it is 6:00p.m.; if it is TWA, it is 1800 hours; if it is Ozark, the big hand is on the…..”

There's a version of that for up here, slightly different... but it involves company so I think I could get in trouble for posting it. 

[BrianGMFS]

If anyone has ever gotten a chuckle out of the Bud Light Beer "real men of genius" radio comercials.... here's a site http://diis.net/article.php?story=budlight that has all of them in MP3 format

Brian

[cj5_pilot]

There's a version of that for up here, slightly different... but it involves company so I think I could get in trouble for posting it. 

When I was in flight training I was told if I heard Anchorage talking to a KAL flight that I should get out of the air....


OK, as for humor:

I was a student pilot (2000), and my instructor and I were doing touch and goes in N4791Q (Cessna 152) at Kenai Municiple Airport (ENA).  Also playing around was a SCAR flight--A military Citation.  They and the C-130s liked to do approaches at Kenai because it's FAR less busy then Anchorage.  Anyhow, as I'm on downwind for 19R the gal in the tower calls "Check gear down" to the Citation.  The SCAR flight calls back "Gear down and locked".  A moment later (you could HEAR her looking through the binoculars) "Oh, I see....that's some small gear"...the instructor and I about burst a gut at that point.  However, the Citation pilot was quick:  "No ma'am, that's low profile!".   

'Course we couldn't leave that alone.  Tower had asked me to call in on base, so when I called in it was "Kenai tower, Cessna Niner-One Quebec left base for One Niner right with big gear".  The gal in the tower lost it and was laughing over the radio.  The SCAR guys didn't think it was so funny...they parked in such a way in front of our tiedown I had to taxi WAY around them to keep out of their jet wash...funny how they had to leave them at such a HI idle

[tundra_flier]

There's a version of that for up here, slightly different... but it involves company so I think I could get in trouble for posting it. 

I think I can guess    there's a couple of company frequencies I like to ease drop on when I'm going cross country.  One in particular has a bunch of real cut ups.

Phil

[Ted_Stryker]

Ok... I know this is a cartoon from a different (and nowhere near as good) comic.... but I thought it a good one to illustrate just how much influence Chicken Wings is having out there!

http://aviationcartoons.com/archives/ChickensCantFly090406.html

Is that Chuck flying it???

[Baradium]

There's a version of that for up here, slightly different... but it involves company so I think I could get in trouble for posting it. 

I think I can guess    there's a couple of company frequencies I like to ease drop on when I'm going cross country.  One in particular has a bunch of real cut ups.

Phil

Haha!  So maybe I should start asking "Phil, you on company?"   

Too bad you aren't up on a regular basis, I'd start doing it. 

Tomorrow is a Galena-downriver day.  Not a bad run...

[tundra_flier]

Don't know Frontier's Co. Freq yet.  You guys seem to think you're an airline or something and won't let me ride in the cockpit after all.    

Phil

[madpilot44]

Wow Frank... You've just returned me like 15 years into the past with that Baloo avatar. one of my favourite cartoons (along with swat kats and another about a squad of german pilots, and a dog, flying after a message pidgeon in WWI... don't remember the name of that last one though)

And for the guys who like the warnings, here's another one 

LATEST THIEF STRATEGY

If you're going to the mall, better keep an eye out for the latest kind of roberies. I was at the mall last week and while heading for my car I noticed two beautiful girls washing a car about two or three cars away from mine, a 90-60-90s burnette and an equally hot blonde. they seemed like they needed the job because they were wearing small, tight fitting t-shirts and really short shorts, which naturally were all wet because of the water. As I aproached my car they were giving the car the last touches and they asked me if I could give them a lift to the next mall. Naturally, being a gentleman and all I told them that I'd do that with pleasure. They both climbed into the back seats of my car and started a conversation, but by the time we pulled out from the mall they were already kissing! About two blocks away from the mall I stopped at a red light and the blonde got into the front passenger seat and started kissing me! I couldn't beleive my luck and I couldn't help but drive a little slower. When we finally got into the next mall they got off and I headed home. But when I got home I noticed that my wallet was gone! The burnette one must've taken it while the blonde was taking my attention... Those two girls can be found at one of those two malls and they'll use the same strategy on you allways. Anyway, just to warn you because I got stolen that day... and the next day... and the next one... and again yesterday... and today... twice... and... wait a second, I have some free time tomorrow too...

[Frank N. O.]

Swat Cats!! I remember that, and their plane of course was a Tomcat, with 3 engines!! Woohoo!
The other really sounds like a classic Hannah Barbera cartoon (the same two guys made Tom & Jerry, The Flintstones, The Jetsons, Yogi Bear, Top Cat etc. etc.), I think it was simply called Catch That Pigeon and that was with Dick Dastardly and Mutley (the dog, who seemed to be the more intelligent sometimes, and had a funny dry laugh that I often do in real life too). Those characters and several other from the same two creators also were in a big cartoon-show with racing around the planet.

I wonder if that guy on the flightsim forum ever did finish that Sea Duck for MSFS, that could be cool.

Frank

[madpilot44]

my thoughts exactly on the sea duck jaja. I was watching talespin on youtube.com and was thinking it would be a nice plane to fly. although I would like more the vertical takeoff tomcat the swat kats had... wouldn't it be a hoot?... anyways, I didn't like the racing cartoon that much (it didn't have planes on it...) although patan's (that's the dog's name in spanish) laughter always brought me a laugh too. I loved the mornings when I woke up to the sound of cartoon network and watched that cartoon before going to school, and patan hovering out of his tail jaja.

ohh the memories... good times indeed

[Mike]

DYSLEXICS OF THE WORLD . . .  UNTIE   !!!