Author Topic: Humor....I need Humor!  (Read 1378012 times)

Offline TheSoccerMom

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1725 on: April 04, 2008, 04:01:18 AM »
Uh, G-Man??  I hate to break this to ya, but....    ::whistle::

Remember about a week or two ago, when Daddy MONGO Airtac reported in from FLORIDA??  ??  ??   ::whistle::

He said you got a GREAT pad, buddy, but it sure doesn't look quite the same anymore......   ::whistle::    ::drinking::

 ::drinking::             ::drinking::               ::drinking::             ::drinking::              ::drinking::
Don't make me come back there!!!!

Offline G-man

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1726 on: April 04, 2008, 04:19:17 AM »
Uh, G-Man??  I hate to break this to ya, but....    ::whistle::

Remember about a week or two ago, when Daddy MONGO Airtac reported in from FLORIDA??  ??  ??   ::whistle::

He said you got a GREAT pad, buddy, but it sure doesn't look quite the same anymore......   ::whistle::    ::drinking::

 ::drinking::             ::drinking::               ::drinking::             ::drinking::              ::drinking::

Ha---funny you should say that--hopefully he mowed my lawn while he was there..there was a wildfire that came within quarter mile of my house--and I'm sitting here in MO in rain showers.. It got stpped on on road luckily..I really need to go home and clear more trees..oh well.
Life may not be the party we hoped for---but while we're here--we might as well dance..........

airtac

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1727 on: April 04, 2008, 03:38:45 PM »
So who's taking care of the place in your absence?
Hey everbody---meet me a Gman's, we got a place to PARTY!!!! ::wave::

Offline G-man

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1728 on: April 04, 2008, 04:15:31 PM »
So who's taking care of the place in your absence?
Hey everbody---meet me a Gman's, we got a place to PARTY!!!! ::wave::

Have at it, tell me when and I'll be there.. ::whistle:: ::drinking::
Life may not be the party we hoped for---but while we're here--we might as well dance..........

Offline G-man

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1729 on: April 05, 2008, 05:21:12 AM »
A husband walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price, the more sheer, the higher the price. Naturally, he opts for the sheerest item pays the $500 and takes it home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him.
Upstairs, the wife thinks, 'I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself.'
So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.
The husband says, 'Good Grief! You'd think for $500, they'd at least iron it!'
He never heard the shot.
Funeral on Friday at Noon.
Closed coffin.

 
Life may not be the party we hoped for---but while we're here--we might as well dance..........

Offline FlyboyGil

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1730 on: April 05, 2008, 01:46:23 PM »
What happened to the joke I posted?
IF YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING NICE, YOU'RE PROBABLY AT THE ICE CAPADES

airtac

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1731 on: April 06, 2008, 05:19:21 PM »

 
Just in case you ever get these two environments mixed up, this should make things a little bit clearer.
 
@ PRISON @ WORK
You spend most of your time in a 10X10 cell
 
@ PRISON You spend most of your time
in an 6X6 cubicle
 
@ WORK
You get three meals a day, fully paid for
 
@ PRISON You get a break for one meal and
you have to pay for it
 
@ WORK
For good behavior, you get time off For good behavior,
you get more work
 
@ PRISON
The guard unlocks and locks all the doors for you
 
@ PRISON                   
@ WORK
You must carry a security card
and open all the doors yourself
 
 
@ WORK
You can watch TV and play games
 
@ PRISON You could get fired for watching
TV and playing games
 
@ WORK 
You get your own toilet

 
@ PRISON You have to share the toilet with
people who pee on the seat
 
@ WORK
They allow your family and friends to visit
 
@ PRISON You aren't even supposed to
speak to your family
 
@ WORK
All expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required
 
@ PRISON You must pay all your expenses to go
to work, and they deduct taxes from
your salary to pay for prisoners
 
@ WORK
You spend most of your life inside bars wanting
to get out You spend most of your time
wanting to get out and
go inside bars
 
@ PRISON
You must deal with sadistic wardens 
@ WORK
They are called 'managers'
 

Offline Mike

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1732 on: April 08, 2008, 05:37:46 AM »
What happened to the joke I posted?

guess !!  :-*


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Offline Mike

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1733 on: April 08, 2008, 05:40:09 AM »

He never heard the shot.


HA HA !!!   ::rofl::

The joke is great, but that line makes it soooooo much better !!!

More please!


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Offline FlyboyGil

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1734 on: April 08, 2008, 10:32:25 PM »
What happened to the joke I posted?

guess !!  :-*

Why'd it get delete for? It wasn't bad at all ??? ???
IF YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING NICE, YOU'RE PROBABLY AT THE ICE CAPADES

airtac

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1735 on: April 09, 2008, 04:26:59 AM »
What happened to the joke I posted?

guess !!  :-*

Why'd it get delete for? It wasn't bad at all ??? ???
YEAH RIGHT GILLEY---I didn't see it but knowing you---it must have been BBAADD!!!!! ::unbelieveable::

Offline G-man

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1736 on: April 09, 2008, 04:43:11 AM »
YEAH RIGHT GILLEY---I didn't see it but knowing you---it must have been BBAADD!!!!! ::unbelieveable::

Oh I'm sure it offended someone... I am going to preface all my posts with the phrase from the "duckman" in "Pretty in Pink"..

"Do I offend".. ::whistle:: ::whistle::

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Life may not be the party we hoped for---but while we're here--we might as well dance..........

Offline Rooster Cruiser

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1737 on: April 09, 2008, 07:34:33 AM »
Judging Others

An elephant asked a camel,
'Why are your breasts on your back?'


'Well,' says the camel,
'I think that's a strange question
from somebody whose wiener is on his face.'

 >:D >:D >:D >:D >:D >:D

"Me and Earl was haulin' chickens / On a flatbed outta Wiggins..."

Wolf Creek Pass, by CW McCall

Offline Mike

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1738 on: April 10, 2008, 01:11:12 AM »
What happened to the joke I posted?

guess !!  :-*

Why'd it get delete for? It wasn't bad at all ??? ???

c'mon Gilly!

don't worry about it and don't be discouraged from posting more jokes !!  ::wave:: ::wave::



http://www.chickenwingscomics.com/forum/index.php?topic=3.0


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Offline FlyboyGil

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1739 on: April 10, 2008, 08:48:52 PM »
Alrighty I'll post another one.

A priest, a Rabbi, and a Chicken walk into a bar. When they get in they see a gorilla and two women. So they....

Wait that one's pretty bad, can't tell that one ;D ;D ;D ;D
IF YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING NICE, YOU'RE PROBABLY AT THE ICE CAPADES