Author Topic: Humor....I need Humor!  (Read 1384951 times)

Offline Oddball

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1635 on: February 29, 2008, 07:54:30 AM »
if the waranty runs out at 30 im good still have till october lol
"You can teach monkeys to fly better than that!"and "spring chicken to sh**e hawk in one easy lesson"

Offline Frank N. O.

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1636 on: February 29, 2008, 07:57:39 AM »
if the waranty runs out at 30 im good still have till october lol
I only got until the start of july :(

Frank
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Offline Skid Kid

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1637 on: February 29, 2008, 11:04:56 AM »
Know the little label that says "Warranty void if seal broken", well scotch tape didn't fix mine...
Don't worry, it'll buff out.

airtac

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1638 on: February 29, 2008, 11:59:50 AM »
I'm searching the house---gotta be an extended warranty around here somewhere---just gotta be............ ???

Offline madpilot44

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1639 on: March 01, 2008, 03:21:46 AM »
Chuck Norris jokes, anyone?

Chuck Norris doesn't request clearances, he states intentions.

Chuck Norris never gets vectors to final . . . final gets vectored to Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is the only person ever to land on runway 37.

Hijackers squawk 7400 when Chuck Norris is on board

If you ever lose sight of Chuck Norris, check your six o'clock.

When Chuck Norris taxies onto the runway, incoming traffic is told to hold short

Chuck Norris never "loses" altitude, he simply gets rid of it when he no longer has any use for it.

Chuck Norris has never landed with a crosswind. The wind would never dare get cross with Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris flies, the altimeter setting is 00.00. Chuck Norris is never under pressure.

When the BASH condition is Red, planes don't fly. When the BASH condition is Norris, birds don't fly.

Chuck Norris has never had a midair collision, He has shot down any plane that has gotten within 10 miles

When told to break at the numbers, Chuck Norris politely reminded the controller that Chuck Norris cannot be broken and proceeded with the straight in.

Right of Way rules do not apply when Chuck Norris is flying. If you are flying toward Chuck Norris, you are wrong.

Chuck Norris doesn't shoot approaches...he kills them.

Chuck Norris is never off of glideslope, the glideslope is off of Chuck Norris

Chuck Yeager broke the sound barrier with his Bell X-1 Jet. Chuck Norris broke the sound barrier with his fist.

Chuck Norris doesn't manage operational risk...he seeks it.

An ejection seat is not safe until Chuck Norris gets out of it.

Chuck Norris doesn't need crew rest...he never sleeps.

Chuck Norris was once denied a clearance...once

Minimum Safe Altitudes do not apply when Chuck Norris is airborne, if you are in the air when Chuck Norris is flying you are never safe.

Chuck Norris is never given the instructions "when able" . Chuck Norris is never unable to do anything.

Favorable winds are always in the same direction as Chuck Norris' flight path

Chuck Norris has never had to adapt his eyes to the dark. His infrared vision is working perfectly fine.

T-45 Anti Icing Capabilities: Pitot Heat, 5th Stage Bleed Air, Chuck Norris

A permanent TFR surrounds Chuck Norris...no one is safe.

Chuck Norris cannot be tracked on radar, if he appears, it is too late; you are already dead.

A good flight for Chuck Norris is a bad flight for you.

Leading cause of disorientation for pilots: Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris once moved a stationary front.

Chuck Norris is the only person to graduate SERE School via correspondence.

Chuck Norris isn't holding, he is circling above his victims.

The weather outlook for the area around Chuck Norris: 100% Chance of Pain
To most people, the sky is the limit. To those who love aviation, the sky is home.

Offline gibbo_335

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1640 on: March 01, 2008, 03:44:18 AM »
I'm searching the house---gotta be an extended warranty around here somewhere---just gotta be............ ???

 ::rofl:: ::rofl:: HA HA .... just give up Airtac, I can't find mine either  ::drinking:: ::sleep::
YEWWWwwwwwwwww

Offline Mike

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1641 on: March 01, 2008, 07:44:30 PM »

Chuck Norris never "loses" altitude, he simply gets rid of it when he no longer has any use for it.

Chuck Norris doesn't shoot approaches...he kills them.

Chuck Norris was once denied a clearance...once


HA HA!! Those are great!!
You probably have to be familiar with the Chuck Norris jokes first....
I had no idea there was a whole set of aviation jokes!!

We should make a t-shirt!


Dear IRS: Please cancel my subscription.

Offline PiperGirl

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1642 on: March 06, 2008, 04:19:54 PM »
A dog is truly a man's best friend.
If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.

Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour.
When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you!?  ::thinking::
No guilt in life, no fear in death /This is the power of Christ in me /From life’s first cry to final breath /Jesus commands my destiny~ Newsboys "In Christ Alone"

airtac

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1643 on: March 06, 2008, 05:46:08 PM »
Thanks PG, I'm sleeping on the couch tonite just for ASKING my wife about that::knockedout::

Offline Rooster Cruiser

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1644 on: March 06, 2008, 07:43:50 PM »
For my worldwide friends, Medicare is the US Government run medical insurance for senior citizens:


MEDICARE COVERAGE IN A NUTSHELL 

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, "Hello."
"Mrs. Sanders, please."
"Speaking."

"Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When  your doctor sent your    husband's biopsy to the lab yesterday, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived  as well, and we are now uncertain which one is your husband's.  Frankly the results are either bad or
terrible."

"What do you mean?" Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.

"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for AIDS.  We can't tell which is your  husband's."

"That's dreadful!  Can't you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Sanders.
"Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time."
"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"

"The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town.  If he finds his way home, don't sleep  with him."   ::knockedout::
"Me and Earl was haulin' chickens / On a flatbed outta Wiggins..."

Wolf Creek Pass, by CW McCall

Offline TheSoccerMom

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1645 on: March 06, 2008, 09:49:51 PM »
Pipergirl,

You are SO right!  A dog is a woman's best friend, too....  well, maybe tied with an airplane, OKAY, OKAY!!!    ::bow::

 ::bow::           ::bow::              ::bow:: 
Don't make me come back there!!!!

Offline Baradium

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1646 on: March 06, 2008, 09:51:40 PM »
Pipergirl,

You are SO right!  A dog is a woman's best friend, too....  well, maybe tied with an airplane, OKAY, OKAY!!!    ::bow::

 ::bow::           ::bow::              ::bow:: 


The first time I read that I read "well, maybe tied to an airplane" and just thought  "poor dog!"
"Well I know what's right, I got just one life
In a world that keeps on pushin' me around
But I stand my ground, and I won't back down"
  -Johnny Cash "I won't back Down"

Offline Oddball

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1647 on: March 07, 2008, 08:14:17 AM »
Ok im getting images from national lampoons national vaction when chevy chase ties the dog to the rear bumper (fender for you american types) and drives off    :'(
« Last Edit: March 07, 2008, 05:42:44 PM by Oddball »
"You can teach monkeys to fly better than that!"and "spring chicken to sh**e hawk in one easy lesson"

Offline Baradium

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1648 on: March 07, 2008, 09:42:08 AM »
Ok im getting images from national lampoons national vaction when checy chase ties the dog to the rear bumper (fender for you american types) and drives off    :'(


Ian: the fender is the front side panel on a car, bumper was right.  ;)


And yeah, I had a similiar mental image...
"Well I know what's right, I got just one life
In a world that keeps on pushin' me around
But I stand my ground, and I won't back down"
  -Johnny Cash "I won't back Down"

Offline Oddball

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1649 on: March 07, 2008, 05:43:59 PM »
Ok im getting images from national lampoons national vaction when checy chase ties the dog to the rear bumper (fender for you american types) and drives off    :'(


Ian: the fender is the front side panel on a car, bumper was right.  ;)


And yeah, I had a similiar mental image...



you would of thought i would of known that since im a car mech as well  just blame it on me just home from night shift  ::rofl::
"You can teach monkeys to fly better than that!"and "spring chicken to sh**e hawk in one easy lesson"