Confirm you have Uniform

Some of you might say “Aww, come on now! Chuck should know by now what this means!” and that may be the case, but have you ever had a brain fart? I sure have. And I’d like to think I have a slightly bigger brain than a chicken.

My wife has this gift, that every time I don’t specify my exact question and leave just a tiny fraction to interpretation there is a 100% chance I get the correct answer … but not the one I was looking for. For example, let’s say I am looking for the day of the week because once again I have lost track on where in the week we are (this happens a lot because we both don’t work Mo-Fr and 9 to 5 jobs, nor we don’t have kids in school). If I was to simply ask her “Hey, what day is it?”, I would with a hundred percent certainty get the answer “It’s the 15th, why?”. I call this “the Microsoft Answer”. Which is a legitimate and technically correct answer, but completely useless to solving my problem at hand. Much like the answers you get when you call Microsoft support (i.e. “Have you tried turning it off and back on again?”).

The other day we had to get up early the next morning because something was actually happening in our lives of isolation for a change, so when we went to bed I asked her “What are you setting your alarm for?” “For getting up early!” was the somewhat irritated, yet technically correct response. I failed to exactly state “What TIME are you setting your alarm for to facilitate tomorrows early rise at the appropriate hour?”, so it was received as “Why are you setting your alarm?”. See what I am getting at here? Actually, I’m not sure what exactly I was getting at here anymore. It’s mainly that today’s comic reminded me of that story. 😉


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6 comments on “Confirm you have Uniform
  1. JP Kalishek says:

    Just as long as you realize she is ALWAYS correct, you will be fine (~_^)

  2. Karl Winters says:

    Won’t be long they’ll be asking him to confirm he has Whiskey!

  3. Wade Moeller says:

    I know I have the tendency to do the same thing, sometimes on accident, other times not. So my most common answer to any question is, “Huh?” This gives the inquisitor a chance to redefine the question.

    They probably find that more annoying then the technically correct answers.

  4. Anja Murmann says:

    Customer: “My computer crashed!”
    Phone Support: “Have you tried switching it off and on again?”
    Customer: “No, I haven’t found a good place to land nearby.”
    Phone Support: “Chuck, is that you?”

  5. Karel A.J. ADAMS says:

    On another forum (one about electronics) I have for a signature “The better you word your question, the better your chances of getting a useful answer”.
    Professionally I am into IT – surprise! 🙂 – and we often joke that, if and when we cannot or won’t make a living from IT, we’ll switch to psychiatry – we have long and strong experience of getting people to describe their issues precisely.

  6. Daisy Vee says:

    And if the operator of xxx Tower were a bit less lazy (or more professional, if you prefer) she/he could have said “… confirm you have information Uniform” which would have left Chuck with the options of “affirmative” or “negative” or making more of a fool of himself. As it was, his answer was little satisfactory, at the edge of being ridiculous, but then so was the question.

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