Author Topic: Things you never want to hear  (Read 38431 times)

Offline Inept

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Things you never want to hear
« on: January 28, 2006, 10:10:27 PM »
Along the same lines as the greatest lies in aviation, only the opposite.   This is for all those little hair raising phrases that we hear in the air or on the flight line.   (if this exists elsewhere and I missed it, I apologize)




Skyhawk on 2 mile final for runway 18
Tower: "Skyhawk 123BX, number two following traffic on 1/4 mile final, cleared to land 18.   Traffic is a Lear.   On landing, expedite departure from runway for following traffic, a Falcon, on 5 mile final."


From your checkride examiner on your Instrument checkride:
"You did fine, although I'm not entirely sire that first approach was legal..."

Offline Gulfstream Driver

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Re: Things you never want to hear
« Reply #1 on: January 28, 2006, 10:16:38 PM »
"Hi, I'm from the FAA, and I'm here to help."
Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes.  --Bruce Almighty

Offline Mike

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Re: Things you never want to hear
« Reply #2 on: January 28, 2006, 11:54:08 PM »
Inside a cockpit, at any time:

"Uh-oh!" :o


(actually...you wouldn't want to hear this in a doctors office either....)
« Last Edit: January 29, 2006, 01:21:34 AM by Mike »
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fireflyr

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Re: Things you never want to hear
« Reply #3 on: January 29, 2006, 11:46:10 AM »
I general;
OOOOOH  S**T!!!!


On landing:
Man this thing sure is floating a long ways???------SCRAAAAAAAAPE!!!!  (forget the gear?)

Offline Gulfstream Driver

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Re: Things you never want to hear
« Reply #4 on: January 29, 2006, 05:41:03 PM »
Ever notice how the engine chooses to run rough only over large bodies of water?
Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes.  --Bruce Almighty

Offline Mike

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Re: Things you never want to hear
« Reply #5 on: January 29, 2006, 05:49:08 PM »
On landing:
Man this thing sure is floating a long ways???------SCRAAAAAAAAPE!!!! (forget the gear?)

HA HA, that's universal. You don't wanna hear "-SCRAAAAAAAAPE!!!! " in anything you fly, huh?!

Here is another one: (passenger related)

"I think I'm gonna be sick..."
 . . . . . .  usually followed by a sound that's almost as bad as -SCRAAAAAAAAPE!!!!  ;)
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fireflyr

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Re: Things you never want to hear
« Reply #6 on: January 30, 2006, 04:21:08 PM »



"I think I'm gonna be sick..."
 . . . . . .  usually followed by a sound that's almost as bad as -SCRAAAAAAAAPE!!!!  ;)
[/quote

HAHAHA, Yep, you are right!
Got a question though, why O why do they wait until you're on short final to tell you???

Offline FlyingBlind

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Re: Things you never want to hear
« Reply #7 on: January 30, 2006, 07:04:07 PM »
If the oxygen masks drop down ,we might have a slight problem

Offline Plthijnx

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Re: Things you never want to hear
« Reply #8 on: January 31, 2006, 05:09:51 AM »
Quote from: fireflyr
HAHAHA, Yep, you are right!
Got a question though, why O why do they wait until you're on short final to tell you???
Quote

god that is so true. it's happened to me twice and by god, it's just WRONG!
The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and a good bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities in life to experience all three at the same time. - Unknown

Offline Mike

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Re: Things you never want to hear
« Reply #9 on: January 31, 2006, 06:49:45 PM »
you also never want to hear the pilot say:

What the hell is it doing NOW?
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Offline Plthijnx

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Re: Things you never want to hear
« Reply #10 on: January 31, 2006, 08:52:11 PM »
or:

"What was that?!?!"

or:

"uhhh, i think we just lost a cylinder"
The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and a good bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities in life to experience all three at the same time. - Unknown

Offline Sleek-Jet

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Re: Things you never want to hear
« Reply #11 on: January 31, 2006, 09:23:15 PM »
Skyhawk on 2 mile final for runway 18
Tower: "Skyhawk 123BX, number two following traffic on 1/4 mile final, cleared to land 18.   Traffic is a Lear.   On landing, expedite departure from runway for following traffic, a Falcon, on 5 mile final."



I always like to say....

"Looks like a falcon driver is going to get to practice his go around's..."

Usually followed by (from the Tower)

"uhhhh.... Falcon 23V, reduce speed..."

I actually used that at Centenial (KAPA) in Denver,  after a long and bumpy flight over the rockies...  I was in no mood to play Cowboy on the runway that day. 
« Last Edit: January 31, 2006, 11:00:35 PM by Sleek-Jet »
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Offline Gulfstream Driver

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Re: Things you never want to hear
« Reply #12 on: January 31, 2006, 10:36:40 PM »
I actually used that at Centenial (KAPA) in Denver, after a long and bumpy flight over the rockies... I was in no mood to play Cowboy on the runway that day.

Good for you.
Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes.  --Bruce Almighty

Offline FlyingBlind

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Re: Things you never want to hear
« Reply #13 on: January 31, 2006, 10:49:52 PM »
FLYYYYYYYYYYYYING THROUUUUUUUUGH THE DANGER ZONE!

Offline Mike

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Re: Things you never want to hear
« Reply #14 on: February 02, 2006, 02:21:36 AM »

"What was that?!?!"


HA HA! I love it!

"Did anybody feel that?"

I was flying on a fire mission with two guys in the back. One of them was kind of heavy to say the least. We called him "Farva" (any of you who have seen my favorite movie "Supertroopers" will know what I am talking about ;)). Anyways we're flying along in my helo straight and level listening to the music I am pumping into the intercom when "Farva" decides to adjust and scoot closer to the window because he saw something of interest...
Now, in a light helicopter (helicopters are sensitive to weight and balance anyways) you can feel a 300lb weight-shift. You guys should have seen my foreman and I up front when we were looking at eachother with that "what the . . . ?" - kind of look on our faces!

All was quiet in the cockpit and we both were listening for any funny noises.

Farva must have seen us (or noticed the helicopter rocking) because he finally said "Sorry, guys."
Got the adrenaline pumping for a moment though....
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