HOAX :D

[FlyboyGil]

Greetings all, I didn't know where else to post this so I thought here would be good. I got one of those "419" Emails from Africa.  Me being the Sport I am, have decided to mess with them.   It's on my public Email, so no personal information is obtained there. Here's the letter he sent (It's a little long, but skim through, they're pretty much the same.). My older brother has messed with these types, as well as other people have, and they seem to fall for it. Maybe not now, but we'll see. After theirs' is mine. Tell me what you think

FROM THE DESK OF MR GEORGE DESMOND
AUDIT/REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT OF
AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK (ADB)
OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO
PHONE: 00226-70 64 24 10
 
SIR/MADAM,
 
(CONFIDENTIAL)
I KNOW THAT THIS EMAIL WILL BE A BIG SURPRISE TO YOU, BUT I WANT YOU TO CALM DOWN AND READ VERY CAREFULLY.
I HAVE A BUSINESS WHICH WILL BE BENEFICIAL TO BOTH OF US. THE AMOUNT OF MONEY INVOLVED IS ($ 5,700:000:00 FIVE MILLION SEVEN HUNDRED THOUSAND US DOLLARS) WHICH I WANT TO TRANSFER OUT OF THE COUNTRY TO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT, ALL TO MY FINANCIAL BENEFIT AND YOURS TOO. AND ALSO TO TAKE MY WIFE ABROAD FOR TREATMENT OF LIVER DAMAGE.
 
THIS MONEY IS OWNED BY A MAN CALLED JIN SUN, A BUSINESS COMMERCIALIST IN WEST-AFRICAN REGIONS. HE HAS BEEN DEAD SINCE SIX YEARS AGO AND SINCE THEN, NO CLAIM HAS BEEN PLACED ON HIS BANK ACCOUNT BALANCE.
I WANT TO TRANSFER THIS MONEY OUT OF THE COUNTRY BUT SUCH FUND CANNOT BE TRANSFERRED WITHOUT A NEXT OF KIN ATTACHED TO THE FUND.
THE FUND COULD BE TRANSFERRED IN THESE WAY; YOU SHALL PRESENT
YOURSELF AS A BUSINESS ASSOCIATE TO THE DECEASED PERSON[JIN SUN] AS DETAILS SHALL BE THAT YOU ARE THE CARE-TAKER BUSINESS ASSOCIATE TO MR. JIN SUN AND HIS PROPERTIES.
 
I SHALL MAKE AVAILABLE TO YOU MATERIALS AND INFORMATION WITH WHICH A SUCCESSFUL CLAIM SHALL BE PLACED ON THE FUND. I SHALL ALSO BE YOUR GUIDIANCE AND INSTRUCTOR THROUGHOUT THE DURATION OF THIS TRANSACTION SO AS TO ENSURE A SWIFT AND SURE TRANSFER OF THE FUND TO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT.
AS TO YOUR BENEFITS, YOU SHALL BE ENTITLED TO 40% OF THIS FUND FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION IN THIS TRANSACTION WHILE 5% WILL BE SET ASIDE FOR EXPENCES INCURED DURING THE COURSE OF THIS TRANSACTION.
 
SO IF YOU ARE INTRESTED, SEND A REPLY TO ME IMMEDIATELY AND IN YOUR REPLY PLEASE INCLUDE YOUR [PRIVATE PHONE AND YOUR FAX NUMBERS] URGENCY HAS TO BE IMPLIED AND THIS BUSINESS MUST STRICTLY BE A DEAL BETWEEN BOTH OF US.
WAITING FOR YOUR URGENT RESPONSE SO THAT I CAN MOVE AHEAD AND GIVE YOU THE INDEPT DETAILS CONCERNING THIS TRANSACTION AND ALSO THE STEPS TO TAKE FOR A SMOOTH TRANSFER OF THE FUND INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT.
 
BEST REGARDS,
MR.GEORGE DESMOND
PLEASE REPLY ME HERE; g_desmond20@katamail.com


Now here's my response:

Greetings.
I'm replying to your request to transfer money to my account. I must admit I'm impressed with your actions, and I'm glad you wish for me to reperesent you in my home country of Saskatchewan. And you were right about your email being a surprise, this could really help my business.

To tell you about myself, I own a chain of Manure Fribbiling Factories across Saskatchewan. The business is sometimes jumpy, as depending on how many moose we are able to get the manure from. Although Moose manure is easy to obtain during the summer, they hibernate during the winter, so it is during that time that it's very hard to get the manure from them and very dangerous. We must venture inside their caves to retrieve it while they are asleep, and should we wake them up prematuraly from their hibernation, they will attack. We have had many serious injuries while doing so. We have been able to subsidize the Moose Manure with wild Wingabee droppings. However wild Wingabee droppings has a problem of flomping within 18 hours of collection. So timing is of the utmost importance. We have to make sure the droppings are fribbled before they flomp, or else the manure is nothing more than waste which represents a loss of profit to our company. I'm sure you will agree that flomped manure is unacceptable to fribbled manure. With the return from your money, I will be able to buy some more moose for our plant. Our profits will increase 10-fold!

I'm sorry to hear about your wife, and I wish for her to have speedy recovery. My Brother's male life partner lost a cousin to liver problems, so I sympathize. I also unfortunatley have sustained injuries myself. 6 months ago I was raking leaves in my front yard outside of my hangar, when I fell out of the tree. I broke my left leg. To make matters worse as I was lying there in pain, I was attacked by vicious tree squirrels. They chewed out my knee-caps. Although my broken leg has healed, I have not had a surgery to my knee caps. Right now when I walk I can't bend my legs, so its very hard to get around. I have to wear speacially fitted wooden pants to keep my correct posture. I'm hoping with the money I recieve from your deposit, I will be able to pay for knee-surgery

I don't have a celluar phone as yet, but I want to make sure that you comfortable in dealing with a manure plant, here in Saskatchewan, but rest assured you are making a wise business choice. I await your response to this letter.

Best Regards
Gotlieb Allister Plotz IV
C.E.O. Saskatchewan Manure Inc.

[airtac]

BWAAAAAAHAAAAAHAAAA---
Gil, you butthook, my sides ache from laughing

[FlyboyGil]

BWAAAAAAHAAAAAHAAAA---
Gil, you butthook, my sides ache from laughing

    

Butthook? I've never heard that one before

 

[Fabo]

loooots of laughter preading through the house, fortunately I am home alone ATM.

[FlyboyGil]

The Guy replied back!!

Dear Gotlieb Allister Plotz IV
C.E.O. Saskatchewan Manure Inc.
 
Thanks for your reply. I want to assure you that there are no risks involved in this transaction because it is something I studied well as a senior Director in this bank. I did not contact you to put you into any problem of any kind but rather for us to work as one body with Sincerity and claim this dormant fund. Like I stated earlier to you, if there is any risk of any kind I don't think I can risk my job opportunity for something that I am not sure of. I am still a senior Director in this same bank where the fund will be transferred from to your designated account. I am also here to direct you in all things you are to do. I contacted you because I cannot make this claim alone except with a foreigner .The owner of the account died on July 30th 2000 of a Ghastly motor accident .His name is, Mr. Jin sun of people republic of china He resided here in Burkina Faso .
 
During our auditing at the bank we discovered the dormant account, the bank recommended that after seven years the fund has to go to the treasury as unclaimed bills. This warranted my search for an honest person who will apply for the fund and claim it so that we share it together as I stipulated before. I have worked here in the bank for a period of time now without achieving anything that is why when I saw this opportunity, I decided to utilize it. You have no much duty to do as I will be directing You appropriately in every step so that we succeed. If you want more clarifications from me, you can call me on my private telephone number as given before so that I can speak to you.
 
I have given you a vivid account of all that is involved and think you are supposed to declare your stand to me to enable me know which steps to take because this is an opportunity I can not let go. I want you to know that this transaction is going to join our families together because I will quit my job after the money has been successfully transferred to your account and I make sure I delete all necessary in formations regarding this transaction in the banks file. I Want you to know that my family will be coming to join you very soon once the transaction gets underway so you have to help me arrange for the visas of some of my family members who will be coming to join you because I have to wait a little after the transfer to avoid quitting my job unceremoniously probably to make the bank suspect me that is why my family will be with you first so that you people will withdraw some money and commence on some investments under your supervision.
 
I have an advice for you please, I don’t want you to leak this secret to anybody so that our secret will be forever to avoid any body knowing how we made our money. I am just an average civil servant here in the bank and wouldn't like to miss this Golden opportunity before me I want you to tell me more about your status because I am beginning to take you like a partner that is why I would like you to do your best and call me once you receive this mail so that we talk to each other for better understanding. As soon as I hear from you I will send you the text of application which you will fill and send to the bank, desk of the director of foreign remittance department of our bank so that when he sees it, the bank will contact you through your email or fax as that will be the contact address which you will put in the application form.
You can also send full information’s including fax numbers so that the bank can contact you through any In all your correspondences with the bank, don't let the bank know that you have any contact with me as that may create room for suspicion. I am waiting to get a call from you and believe that we are going to be successful. Don't worry for this shall be our time. I hope you will continue in your honesty while I promise to do my best to see that we are victorious at last. We don't need to delay so much because the bank has already made it clear that this fund will be transferred to the reserve bank of Burkina Faso by the end of this fiscal year auditing. Please advise me on areas of investment in your country. if there is anything urgent, you can always call me and do not forget that this transaction will not last more than eight banking days once you follow my instructions.
Attachment my family and wife picture.
 
Waiting to hear from you as soon as you get this mail,
             
Best Regards,
         
Mr.George Desmond
00226 -70 64 24 10


COME ON BUDDY!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!? He also sent me pictures of himself his wife and family. How should I proceed now? Any ideas? TOOOOO MUCH FUN

Oh I wasn't supposed to tell anyone, so I hope you guys won't tell anyone else   

[airtac]

Is the little wife a hottie!! Maybe you and she can run away with his half of the 41 gazillion dollarinos too----I expect a commission of about a gazillion for just coming up with the idea, if she's a bowser, we can negotiate that figure down a little.........................and remember, SHHHHHHHHHHHHH, don't tell anyone else

[FlyboyGil]

Here's my latest reply to the guy.  I will be totally surprised if he replies to me after this still thinking I'm serious.

Greetings George

I was glad to recieve your message. I am working on getting all the important information that you require. My bank is asking all sorts of questions, and I assume you want me to keep things quiet over here as well. This is a big secret. I want to put some of the money into my company as well. I will have everything ready in just a very quick while.

Now regarding your family's Immigration Visa's. Saskatchewan is a former Soviet Block Country, so we don't have Visa's by that name anyways. Here they are called Immigration Mastercards. Although they are more harder to come by for immigrants, your family should be alot easier to bring in as you have experience in banking. Your wife should also have some employable skills as well. Does she have any experience in Nursing? They are sought after over here, so I could tell them that she is a nurse, and you would be bumped to the front of the line. There is a labor shortage here as most of our workers are now at the age of retirement. Saskatchewan is a country on the grow!!

As for companies to invest in, My company is always open for investment. Other Companies are Vulcan Motor Vehicles (V.M.V), known as the "Logical Choice". They are constantly in need of investment and workers. Other companies for investment is Klingon Defence CO-OP. I've also seen your picture, and to be straight foward in a possible uncomfortable statement, you are a very handsome man. Once you settle in you may even want to try your hand at male modelling. The popular Saskatchewan Magazine BIGGAYFELLA'S is always looking for models. The ladies love it!

I was thinking about your wifes liver problems. A local Doctor by the of name Elmer Fudd had my brother's male life partners cousin use a homemade dialalisis pump in order to help her. It was made of a personal vibrator motor, a small syringe. I can't remember all the parts used, but it was very easy design and you may have such designs in Africa. The pump kept her alive for 2 years before she unfortunately succumbed to her illness. I reccomend going to either Japan or The United States for her treatement. There is a shortage of Doctors here, so there is a long waiting list for surgery's.

I will be in touch with you soon.

Kindest Regards
Gotlieb Allister Plotz
C.E.O. Saskatchewan Manure Inc.

[FlyboyGil]

Is the little wife a hottie!! Maybe you and she can run away with his half of the 41 gazillion dollarinos too----I expect a commission of about a gazillion for just coming up with the idea, if she's a bowser, we can negotiate that figure down a little.........................and remember, SHHHHHHHHHHHHH, don't tell anyone else

She does seem kinda cute. Alright, I'll give you a piece of the pie. In order to do so, I need to know your bank account number, your social insurance number, and your personal mailing address 

[airtac]

Is the little wife a hottie!! Maybe you and she can run away with his half of the 41 gazillion dollarinos too----I expect a commission of about a gazillion for just coming up with the idea, if she's a bowser, we can negotiate that figure down a little.........................and remember, SHHHHHHHHHHHHH, don't tell anyone else

She does seem kinda cute. Alright, I'll give you a piece of the pie. In order to do so, I need to know your bank account number, your social insurance number, and your personal mailing address 

I have a problem with that, I only deal in cash and keep my money in a very large mayonase jar buried in the back yard.  As for SS number, my application was held up after my sex change and therefore I have never recieved one because of my status as an illegal alien.  You can howevever, send sacks or bales of cash in my name to the AIDS clinic in Geyserville, CA (where I well known) since I live in a cardboard box. 

[Fabo]

Is the little wife a hottie!! Maybe you and she can run away with his half of the 41 gazillion dollarinos too----I expect a commission of about a gazillion for just coming up with the idea, if she's a bowser, we can negotiate that figure down a little.........................and remember, SHHHHHHHHHHHHH, don't tell anyone else

She does seem kinda cute. Alright, I'll give you a piece of the pie. In order to do so, I need to know your bank account number, your social insurance number, and your personal mailing address 

I have a problem with that, I only deal in cash and keep my money in a very large mayonase jar buried in the back yard.  As for SS number, my application was held up after my sex change and therefore I have never recieved one because of my status as an illegal alien.  You can howevever, send sacks or bales of cash in my name to the AIDS clinic in Geyserville, CA (where I well known) since I live in a cardboard box. 

Youre nazi airtac?   

[FlyboyGil]

P.S. To all, HAPPY CANADA DAY!!!!!
  (<- Drinking Labatts)

[FlyboyGil]

Is the little wife a hottie!! Maybe you and she can run away with his half of the 41 gazillion dollarinos too----I expect a commission of about a gazillion for just coming up with the idea, if she's a bowser, we can negotiate that figure down a little.........................and remember, SHHHHHHHHHHHHH, don't tell anyone else

She does seem kinda cute. Alright, I'll give you a piece of the pie. In order to do so, I need to know your bank account number, your social insurance number, and your personal mailing address 

I have a problem with that, I only deal in cash and keep my money in a very large mayonase jar buried in the back yard.  As for SS number, my application was held up after my sex change and therefore I have never recieved one because of my status as an illegal alien.  You can howevever, send sacks or bales of cash in my name to the AIDS clinic in Geyserville, CA (where I well known) since I live in a cardboard box. 

              

[spacer]

Check out thescambaiter.com

Send him a sample of your work, though maybe you can use a little doublespeak... make him think you're sending electronics (say, a laptop computer with a built-in inventory database... all he'll see is "laptop") and ship him a large box via DHL. In Nigeria, they will only accept cash for COD shipments.
So... he'll have to scrape up the cash to receive the box, and will just about explode when he opens it to find... fertilizer. Now, if there's a problem with shipping that sort of thing (I dunno... if they consider it a bio-hazard) then a box of useless junk would do. Just make sure nothing in the box can be repaired or used otherwise. The whole point is to make them pay,
and to never put more effort or money into the deal than the mugu who tried to scam you.

[FlyboyGil]

Check out thescambaiter.com

Send him a sample of your work, though maybe you can use a little doublespeak... make him think you're sending electronics (say, a laptop computer with a built-in inventory database... all he'll see is "laptop") and ship him a large box via DHL. In Nigeria, they will only accept cash for COD shipments.
So... he'll have to scrape up the cash to receive the box, and will just about explode when he opens it to find... fertilizer. Now, if there's a problem with shipping that sort of thing (I dunno... if they consider it a bio-hazard) then a box of useless junk would do. Just make sure nothing in the box can be repaired or used otherwise. The whole point is to make them pay,
and to never put more effort or money into the deal than the mugu who tried to scam you.

AWSOME!!! 

[FlyboyGil]

I DON"T BELIEVE THIS GUY!! HE REPLIED BACK TWICE!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA!! THIS IS TOO MUCH FUN

HERE THEY ARE!!!

First One!!
Dear Partner, Gotlieb Allister Plotz
C.E.O. Saskatchewan Manure Inc.
 
Please give me your direct number where I can reach you because I want to establish voice communication. Please tell me what you think about my Idea?
 
I wait to hear from you soonest,
 
Regards,
 
George Desmond



HERE'S THE SECOND ONE!!!


Dear Partner,Gotlieb Allister Plotz
C.E.O. Saskatchewan Manure Inc.
 
Thanks for your email,
 
I want you to understand that this transaction is 100 % risk free because it’s something I have studied very well before I decided to contact to be my partner.
Moreover the Bank is ready to welcome anybody who applies as the next of kin since the late Mr. Jin Sun did not mentioned anybody as his next of kin before his ultimate death in road accident.
Find below the text of application you will fill and send to Bank in other for us to move ahead for the claim of this fund without further delay.this transaction will last for eight bank working days.
As soon as you send the application, please let me know.
I wait to hear from you soonest,
 
Regards,
 
George Desmond
00226 -70 64 24 10
 
 
 
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
ATTN: MR. DANIEL EBO
THE DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS
FOREIGN REMITTANCE DIVISION
AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK
OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA-FASO
PHONE : (00226) 78 01 47 27
FAX :(00226)50-42-00-31
EMAIL:  a_d_b@cbgb.net
EMAIL:  mail2adb@mail2bank.com
 
Dear Sir,
APPLICATION AS NEXT OF KIN TO ACCOUNT HOLDER N0 :$ 746-947382. ROUTING N0: 9372820
 
 I, Mr/Mrs. your name.................… of ........................humbly apply to your bank as next of kin to your deceased customer, Mr. Jin Sun of
Peoples republic of china   a Chinese nationality ,holder of Account no:$746-947382, Routing no:9372820 ,who died on July 30th 2000 in a Ghastly motor accident.
I humbly apply and put claim over his balance with the bank, which is valued at $ 5,700,000.00 (FIVE  MILLION SEVEN HUNDRED  THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLARS ONLY) , left in his account still unclaimed, Until  his sudden death , we have been business associates in exportation and importing goods. The funds were transferred into his account through ( BOB) BANK of BURKINA, Bobo- Diolasso, Burkina-Faso. Payment for supplied
hospital equipments- building Materials.
 
I wish to be intimated on the processes involved in having this fund transferred to my bank account as stated below:
 
Account Name:....................................
Bank Name:.......................................
Bank address: ....................................
Fax N0:..........................................
Swift N0: .......................................
Account N0:......................................
My private phone no:.............................
My private mail address:.....................
My private fax no:...............................
Occupation.......................................
Age.................................................
 
Wishing my application will be given an urgent attention, as I wish the balance be released, and transferred into my account .
Accept my apology for the late application, it was due to some logistic problems, which has been just settled.
 
Thanking you for your anticipated co-operation .
 
Yours Sincerely



I'M GONNA HAVE SOOOOO MUCH FUN WITH THIS!!!!