Author Topic: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR  (Read 33556 times)

Offline Fabo

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Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
« Reply #45 on: December 25, 2007, 06:51:13 PM »
@2) Exclude German, Czech, Slovak, Hungarian and other children...

one image says it all, well, at least for the German-speaking bunch in here.



We respect your traditions - how about you respecting us?
"When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return."

Offline Mike

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Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
« Reply #46 on: December 25, 2007, 07:08:27 PM »
HA HA !

Good one Fabo!


Merry Christmas Everybody!


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Offline FlyboyGil

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Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
« Reply #47 on: December 25, 2007, 08:33:55 PM »
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL YOU CHICKENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |:)\ |:)\ |:)\ |:)\ |:)\
« Last Edit: April 07, 2009, 08:10:07 PM by FlyboyGil »
IF YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING NICE, YOU'RE PROBABLY AT THE ICE CAPADES

Offline Turbomallard

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Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
« Reply #48 on: December 27, 2007, 12:09:36 AM »
Have at it---Of course I only checked out the "nice'n'naughty" version..  ::whistle:: ::whistle::
http://www.simonsezsanta.com/index.php
Santa is amazing ::eek::
First thing I asked was for him to hit the reindeer... and he did. For more fun, ask him to hit it with a bat.  ::silly::
The elf, unfortunately, isn't as amenable to instructions.  :(
TM

Ya'll are just way too polite---Try some "other" verbs..  ::whistle:: ::whistle::

Like...?  ::angel:: ::angel::

TM
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Offline G-man

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Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
« Reply #49 on: December 27, 2007, 12:27:45 AM »
Ya'll are just way too polite---Try some "other" verbs..  ::whistle:: ::whistle::

Like...?  ::angel:: ::angel::

TM
[/quote]

This being a "family" site, I cannot say  ::thinking:: ::thinking:: ---use your imagination..
Life may not be the party we hoped for---but while we're here--we might as well dance..........

Offline Turbomallard

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Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
« Reply #50 on: December 28, 2007, 12:50:43 AM »


This being a "family" site, I cannot say  ::thinking:: ::thinking:: ---use your imagination..

I did. Evidently my imagination isn't very good (this could explain much). All I could manage was to get her to smooch Santa a couple of times and take off her hat and belt. I did, however, get Santa to behead the reindeer with a sawsall, which was kind of cool.

TM
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Offline Oddball

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Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
« Reply #51 on: December 31, 2007, 02:24:02 PM »
 ::drinking::  well happy Hogmanny from Bonnie but Dreech Scotland  ::drinking::  ::drinking::  ::drinking:: ::cowboy::  ;D
"You can teach monkeys to fly better than that!"and "spring chicken to sh**e hawk in one easy lesson"

Offline TheSoccerMom

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Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
« Reply #52 on: January 01, 2008, 03:01:39 AM »
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!   ::drinking::

Hope that 2008 is just wonderful for all of you!!!!   :D
Don't make me come back there!!!!

Offline AirScorp

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Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
« Reply #53 on: January 01, 2008, 05:27:46 AM »
Wishing 2008 flight hours of fun, beer dousing and strippers to all of you!!!!
It's all Greek to me!

Offline 4X-NTY

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Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
« Reply #54 on: January 01, 2008, 01:53:46 PM »
Happy new year!!! 2008 is here,and yesterday's night (in israel we call it "silvester") rocked,the best opening of the new year i could ever wish!
hope you also had fun at 00:00 1/1/2008!
Nitay "Pitz" Ronen

Offline FlyboyGil

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Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
« Reply #55 on: December 02, 2008, 11:39:45 PM »
IF YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING NICE, YOU'RE PROBABLY AT THE ICE CAPADES

Offline G-man

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Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
« Reply #56 on: December 03, 2008, 03:12:18 AM »
Life may not be the party we hoped for---but while we're here--we might as well dance..........

Offline Fabo

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Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
« Reply #57 on: December 03, 2008, 11:37:29 AM »
Is it the season already? Well then...

Got any slovak/czech speaking contact in  your list? Well send them!


Translation what it says

To all who wished me all the best in 2008 I say:

IT DID NOT HELP AT ALL!

Therefore, for 2009 I only accept money, alcohol and petrol vouchers.

Thank you!

"When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return."

Offline G-man

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Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
« Reply #58 on: December 05, 2008, 09:52:15 AM »
When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.

Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the rum. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to put it?'



And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Life may not be the party we hoped for---but while we're here--we might as well dance..........

Offline G-man

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Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
« Reply #59 on: December 19, 2008, 06:55:31 PM »
In the style of ?? ?? ??

There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world.

However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 379 million (according to the population reference bureau).

At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there at least one good child in each.
-Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the Earth, assuming east to the west (which seems logical).

This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat what ever snack that have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get onto the next house.

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the Earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks.

This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second--3, 000 times the speed of sound. For purpose of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15-20 miles per hour.

The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than medium sized LEGO set (2 pounds) the sleigh is carrying over 500,000 tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds.

Even granting that the "flying" reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them---Santa would need 360, 000 reindeer. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54, 000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).

A mass of nearly 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized in 4.26 thousands of a second, or right about the time that Santa reaches the 5th house on his trip.

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 mph in 0.001 seconds, would be a subject to acceleration forces of 17,000 Gs. A 250-pound Santa (which seems very slim considering the high calorie snacks he must have consumed over the years) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs.

Hmmm--so does Santa really exist..

Happy Holidays!
Life may not be the party we hoped for---but while we're here--we might as well dance..........