Author Topic: Humor....I need Humor!  (Read 1410709 times)

Offline happylanding

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #330 on: May 30, 2006, 09:26:18 AM »

> Moving to Texas ............


AH AH AH!!!! that's very funny!!!!
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D



Here I found one that is said to be true! (Hope the same doesn't apply to Texas............ ;) )
Hanover Airport. The young woman in Tower has recently finished her training and is still not completely at ease. BA XXX is at holding position runway 09R. Another aircraft is doing approach procedures for a landing on the same runway. Tower wishes to expedite take-off for BA XXX:
 
Tower: BA XXX, are you ready for a quickie ?
 
BA XXX: Lady, I'm always ready for a quickie, but first I have to fly this plane to Helsinki !
 
« Last Edit: May 30, 2006, 09:27:50 AM by happylanding »
I give that landing a 9 . . . on the Richter scale.

fireflyr

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #331 on: May 30, 2006, 02:43:30 PM »
........................."but first I have to Helsinki".........
HA, I had to LOL on that one---GOOD!! ;D

Offline happylanding

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #332 on: May 30, 2006, 09:23:53 PM »
Cessna 152: "Flight Level Three Thousand, Seven Hundred"
Controller: "Roger, contact Houston Space Centre"

Tower: "Mission 123, do you have problems?"
Pilot: "I think I have lost my compass."
Tower: "Judging the way you are flying, you lost the whole instrument panel!"
I give that landing a 9 . . . on the Richter scale.

Offline chuckar101

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #333 on: May 31, 2006, 01:07:53 AM »
Great jokes happy keep them coming.  Sure make the day go by a little quicker.
WOW I did that!

Offline happylanding

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #334 on: May 31, 2006, 11:54:59 AM »
Controller: "USA353 (sic) contact Cleveland Centre 135.60.

NO REPLY

Controller: "USA353 contact Cleveland Centre 135.60!"

NO REPLY

Controller: "USA353 you're just like my wife you never listen!"

Pilot: "Centre, this is USA553, maybe if you called her by the right name you'd get a better response!"
I give that landing a 9 . . . on the Richter scale.

Offline SteepTurn

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #335 on: May 31, 2006, 06:50:42 PM »
I found this one...

- At a recent software engineering management course in the US, the participants were given an awkward question to answer. "If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software how many of you would disembark immediately?"

Among the ensuing forest of raised hands, only one man sat motionless.

When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite content to stay onboard. With his team's software, he said, the plane was unlikely to even taxi as far as the runway, let alone take off.
;D ;) ;D ;)
for climbing --> pull ** for decending --> continue pulling

Offline SteepTurn

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #336 on: May 31, 2006, 06:54:19 PM »
...sorry, I forgot this one:

Said by my instructor:
the P3 (Pilatus) actually is not able to fly, it only takes off because the world is round...
for climbing --> pull ** for decending --> continue pulling

Offline SteepTurn

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #337 on: May 31, 2006, 07:06:55 PM »
....and another one!!!

Basic Flying Rules:
1. Try to stay in the middle of the air.
2. Do not go near the edges of it.
3. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.
for climbing --> pull ** for decending --> continue pulling

Offline SteepTurn

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #338 on: May 31, 2006, 07:15:06 PM »
LH741: "Tower, give me a rough time-check!"
Tower: "It's Tuesday, Sir."
---------------------------------------------
Tower: "Phantom-Formation crossing control zone without clearance, state your call-sign !"
Pilot: "I'm not silly..."
--------------------------------------------
Tower: "Hawk 20, is this the same aircraft declaring emergency about two hours ago ?"
Pilot: "Negative, Sir. It's only the same pilot."
---------------------------------------------
Tower: "Delta Fox Alpha, hold position, Marshall will park you."
Pilot: "Roger. Looking out for John Wayne."
---------------------------------------------
Ground Control: "123DG, bear to the left, disabled aircraft on the right."
Pilot: "123DG, Roger, I have the disabled aircraft in sight, but I don't see the bear yet."
----------------------------------------------
ATC: Piper N 4444D, traffic at your 2o'clock, 500 ft below you.
Piper N4444D: Well, we see a light coming towards us ... ATC: Look again - there's probably a plane behind that light.
----------------------------------------------

c ya
for climbing --> pull ** for decending --> continue pulling

Offline Turbomallard

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #339 on: May 31, 2006, 09:06:20 PM »
Q: What's the difference between an Airbus A320-100 and a beaver?

A: 1,000 trees per hour.

TM
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Offline piet03

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #340 on: June 01, 2006, 12:46:56 PM »
Aircraft;"Center be advised 456Tango is a citation!"
Controler:" 456Tango this is XYZ aproach. You stop calling us center ,we'll stop calling you twin cessna"

Offline happylanding

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #341 on: June 01, 2006, 06:16:56 PM »
One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the runway on the taxiway while an MD80 landed.
The MD80 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee.
Someone on the MD80 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"
Our hero the Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with: "I made it out of MD80 parts. Another landing like that and I'll have enough parts for another one."
« Last Edit: June 01, 2006, 06:40:17 PM by happylanding »
I give that landing a 9 . . . on the Richter scale.

Offline Frank N. O.

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #342 on: June 01, 2006, 06:35:29 PM »
Happy: Joke to be continued? I seem to remember that one having one more line, and a good one at that :D

Hehe, I see you found the same collection of jokes I did :D My mom also found the one about the instruments very funny :D Btw it was a while since I posted a few of them on that page and since they're golden oldies then no problem posting a few of them again, they're great fun and this thread is long to read thrue :)

Frank
"When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return."
Leonardo da Vinci

Offline happylanding

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #343 on: June 01, 2006, 06:43:04 PM »
Happy: Joke to be continued? I seem to remember that one having one more line, and a good one at that :D

Hehe, I see you found the same collection of jokes I did :D My mom also found the one about the instruments very funny :D Btw it was a while since I posted a few of them on that page and since they're golden oldies then no problem posting a few of them again, they're great fun and this thread is long to read thrue :)

Frank


Gosh, you were right!!!  :-[ :-[ :-[ I had forgotten a part and did not notice....look twice, there is always something you're missing......
aviation jokes are real fun! BTW, I should check more often the back pages, if you say that you already posted some!!!
I give that landing a 9 . . . on the Richter scale.

Offline happylanding

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #344 on: June 01, 2006, 06:46:10 PM »
to be pardoned for posting half a joke, here is one for the coop........... :D


A man runs to the doctor and says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. My wife thinks she's a chicken!"

The doctor asks, "How long has she had this condition?"

"Two years," says the man.

"Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?" asked the shrink.

The man shrugs his shoulders and replies, "We needed the eggs."
I give that landing a 9 . . . on the Richter scale.