Author Topic: Humor....I need Humor!  (Read 1411237 times)

Offline AirScorp

  • Rooster
  • ****
  • Posts: 369
  • Nick
    • Me on myspace
Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1170 on: September 04, 2007, 11:29:40 PM »
A little one I made up last night while in a conversation about principles of flight.
It correlates perfectly with our own FAA.



The four forces acting on an airplane in flight are: thrust, lift, gravity and drag.
Drag in particular comes in three forms: Induced drag, parasitic drag and the FAA (Owww!!!! What a drag!!!!!)
It's all Greek to me!

Offline PiperGirl

  • Rooster
  • ****
  • Posts: 278
Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1171 on: September 05, 2007, 12:03:11 PM »
heheeh! Nice Scorp!  ;D  ::rofl::
No guilt in life, no fear in death /This is the power of Christ in me /From life’s first cry to final breath /Jesus commands my destiny~ Newsboys "In Christ Alone"

Offline FlyboyGil

  • Alpha Rooster
  • *****
  • Posts: 1640
  • AW, CRAP!!!
    • MYSPACE!!!
Letter from Redneck parents to a redneck son
« Reply #1172 on: September 06, 2007, 02:58:50 PM »
Dearest Son, I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast.
> >
> > We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the
> > newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we
> > moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last
> > family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they
> > wouldn't have to change their address.
> >
> > This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure
> > about it though. I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We
> > haven't seen them since.
> >
> > The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time
 for three days and the second time for four days.
> >
> > Auntie Maude has sent you a pair of socks she knit, she put a third one in
 because she heard you have grown another foot since she last saw you.
> >
> > About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Billy said it would be
> > too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and
> > put them in the pockets.
> >
> > Jimmy locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because
 it took him two hours to get me and your father out.
> >
> > Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is
> > yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle. The baby looks just like
> > your brother.
> >
> > Uncle Bobby fell into a screech vat last week. Some men tried to pull him
> > out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated, he burned for
 three days.
> >
> > Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was
> > driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two
> > friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the
> > tailgate down.
> >
> > There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the normal
> > has happened.
> >
Love Mom
IF YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING NICE, YOU'RE PROBABLY AT THE ICE CAPADES

Offline FlyboyGil

  • Alpha Rooster
  • *****
  • Posts: 1640
  • AW, CRAP!!!
    • MYSPACE!!!
Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1173 on: September 08, 2007, 08:37:40 PM »
A blond walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that, they don't sell rectum deodorant and never have.

Unfazed, the blond assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more.

"I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "We don't have any."
 
"But, I always buy it here!" says the blond.
 
"Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the pharmacist.
 
"Yes," said the blond, "I'll go home and get it."

She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."

Annoyed, the blond snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container .......

"TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM."
IF YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING NICE, YOU'RE PROBABLY AT THE ICE CAPADES

Offline FlyboyGil

  • Alpha Rooster
  • *****
  • Posts: 1640
  • AW, CRAP!!!
    • MYSPACE!!!
IF YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING NICE, YOU'RE PROBABLY AT THE ICE CAPADES

Offline Frank N. O.

  • Alpha Rooster
  • *****
  • Posts: 2446
  • Spin It!
Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1175 on: September 09, 2007, 07:28:56 AM »
Gil: Ok, I'm all awake now. Next time I think I think I'll be a little more carefeul about what link I saw, that was kind of scary and as said in the blooper post then I just woke up.

Frank
"When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return."
— Leonardo da Vinci

Offline FlyboyGil

  • Alpha Rooster
  • *****
  • Posts: 1640
  • AW, CRAP!!!
    • MYSPACE!!!
Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1176 on: September 13, 2007, 05:41:50 PM »
Choosing A Wife
A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gave each woman a present of $5,000 and watched to see what they do with the money.
The first did a total make over. She went to a fancy beauty salon got her hair done, new make up and bought several new outfits and dressed up very nicely for the man. She told him that she had done this to be more a attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The man was impressed.
The second went shopping to buy the man gifts. She got him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presented these gifts, she told him that she had spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man was impressed.


The third invested the money in the stock market. She earned several times the $5,000. She gave him back his $5,000 and reinvested the remainder in a joint account. She told him that she wanted to save for their future because she loves him so much.


Obviously, the man was impressed.


The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her....


Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.

Men are like that, you know.
IF YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING NICE, YOU'RE PROBABLY AT THE ICE CAPADES

Offline FlyboyGil

  • Alpha Rooster
  • *****
  • Posts: 1640
  • AW, CRAP!!!
    • MYSPACE!!!
Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1177 on: September 13, 2007, 07:20:28 PM »
Wheres Happy?  :( :( I miss her unique insight into the issues, and most of all I miss her smutty jokes
IF YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING NICE, YOU'RE PROBABLY AT THE ICE CAPADES

Offline gibbo_335

  • Alpha Rooster
  • *****
  • Posts: 1020
  • Flying the NT
Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1178 on: September 13, 2007, 07:57:28 PM »
Wheres Happy?  :( :( I miss her unique insight into the issues, and most of all I miss her smutty jokes

Yeah Gilly, we are missing a few people, Happy, 'Mom, Airtac just name a few  :'( where are you guys??
YEWWWwwwwwwwww

Offline want2fly

  • Fledgling
  • **
  • Posts: 62
Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1179 on: September 13, 2007, 10:44:53 PM »
Wheres Happy?  :( :( I miss her unique insight into the issues, and most of all I miss her smutty jokes

Yeah Gilly, we are missing a few people, Happy, 'Mom, Airtac just name a few  :'( where are you guys??

They were the ones that posted a lot and kept the forums interesting with different insights on jokes and stuff.

::rambo:: ::rambo:: ::rambo:: ::rambo:: ::rambo:: ::rambo:: ::rambo:: ::rambo:: ::rambo::
If all else fails, read the directions.

Offline chuckar101

  • Rooster
  • ****
  • Posts: 449
Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1180 on: September 14, 2007, 04:51:54 AM »
There all probably stuck in the middle of nowhere, on some fire, where theres no internet for hundreds of miles(been there done that) ::banghead:: ::banghead::
WOW I did that!

Offline Rooster Cruiser

  • Alpha Rooster
  • *****
  • Posts: 1996
  • Retired Chicken Hauler
Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1181 on: September 14, 2007, 05:57:33 AM »
There all probably stuck in the middle of nowhere, on some fire, where theres no internet for hundreds of miles(been there done that) ::banghead:: ::banghead::

Bummer...

As for me; I'm stuck in central Mexico on a five day trip.  No fires here, but I do have my family with me so I gotta behave... ::angel::  At least I have found enough time to continue posting.  I just tell my better half that this is part of my job description and I MUST stay connected no matter where I go.  ::type::

...Yeah, yeah, yer right... that's a Bullshit argument but that's my story and I'm sticking to it!   ::rofl::
"Me and Earl was haulin' chickens / On a flatbed outta Wiggins..."

Wolf Creek Pass, by CW McCall

Offline Mike

  • Supreme Overlord
  • Alpha Rooster
  • *****
  • Posts: 3376
Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1182 on: September 17, 2007, 05:23:02 AM »
I JUST RAN INTO SOCCERMOM!!!
...in Twin Falls, Idaho.

We got to BS for only 10min since my ship hadto go to Vernal to a fire.
It was good times thoug! Lots of laughs!  ::rofl::

I hope that all the fire guys will be back soon since the season is coming to an end!

No trace of Happy though  :-[ :-\ :'(


Dear IRS: Please cancel my subscription.

Offline gibbo_335

  • Alpha Rooster
  • *****
  • Posts: 1020
  • Flying the NT
Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1183 on: September 17, 2007, 07:52:47 PM »
I JUST RAN INTO SOCCERMOM!!!
...in Twin Falls, Idaho.

We got to BS for only 10min since my ship hadto go to Vernal to a fire.
It was good times thoug! Lots of laughs!  ::rofl::

I hope that all the fire guys will be back soon since the season is coming to an end!

No trace of Happy though  :-[ :-\ :'(

MIKE thanks for the up date!  Next time you see 'Mom say  ::wave:: ::wave:: ::wave:: ::wave:: HI from me will ya??!!

Happy come back  ::wave:: ::wave::
YEWWWwwwwwwwww

Offline Rooster Cruiser

  • Alpha Rooster
  • *****
  • Posts: 1996
  • Retired Chicken Hauler
Sara Pipalini
« Reply #1184 on: September 18, 2007, 02:26:52 AM »
Sara Pipalini

 Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven.

 At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He
 says, "Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting
 you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you wish to be.

 The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren;"
 And *poof* she's gone.

 The second says, "I want to be Madonna and *poof*
 she's gone.

 The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini."

 St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he asked.

 "Sara Pipalini," replies the nun.

 St. Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry,
 but that name just doesn't ring a bell."

 The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit
 and hands it to St. Peter.

 St. Peter reads the paper and starts laughing. He
 hands it back to her and says.


 "No sister, the paper says it was the 'Sahara
 Pipeline' that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months."

 ::rofl:: ::rofl:: ::rofl:: ::rofl::
"Me and Earl was haulin' chickens / On a flatbed outta Wiggins..."

Wolf Creek Pass, by CW McCall