Author Topic: Humor....I need Humor!  (Read 1410644 times)

Offline Rooster Cruiser

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1035 on: June 09, 2007, 12:48:38 PM »
...Hunh...   ::thinking::

For some reason, when you dissect a joke like that, it isn't funny anymore.   ::)
"Me and Earl was haulin' chickens / On a flatbed outta Wiggins..."

Wolf Creek Pass, by CW McCall

Offline Fabo

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1036 on: June 09, 2007, 03:46:22 PM »
I said I wasnt in my skin today...
"When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return."

Offline tundra_flier

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1037 on: June 12, 2007, 08:09:03 PM »
Ole &Sven 

Ole and Sven were drinking buddies who worked as aircraft mechanics in
Minneapolis. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in
the hangar with nothing to do.

Ole said, "I vish ve had somethin ta drink!" Sven says, "Me too.
Y'know, I've hear you can drink dat yet fuel an get a buzz.

Ya vanna try it?"

So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and
got completely smashed.

Next morning Ole woke up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact
he
feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects.

Nothing! The phone rang. It was Sven who asks "How iss you feelin dis
mornin?"

Ole says, "I feel great. How bout you?" Sven says, "I feel great, too.

Ya don't have no hangover?" Ole says, "No dat yet fuel iss great stuff
-- no hangover, nothin. Ve oughta do dis more often."

Sven agreed."Yeah, vell, but dere's yust vun ting."

Ole asked, "Vat's dat?"

Sven questioned, "Haff you farted yet?"
Ole stopped to think. "No "

"Vell, DON'T, 'cause I'm in Milvaukee"

Offline TheSoccerMom

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1038 on: June 13, 2007, 03:47:32 AM »
This can really be a SERIOUS PROBLEM. 

I've modified our checklists to take care of it.

Don't make me come back there!!!!

Offline Mike

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1039 on: June 13, 2007, 03:57:03 AM »
HA HA!!

Sally, is that you?  ::rofl::

"Oh duh, I was wondering why that number one engine kept shutting down . . . "


Dear IRS: Please cancel my subscription.

Offline TheSoccerMom

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1040 on: June 13, 2007, 04:03:12 AM »
"yeah, like, I thought it was, like, a little QUIETER than usual, but you know, like, I just figured maybe it was my new pink headset...."    ::rofl::

 ::rofl::                     ::rofl::                        ::rofl::                     ::rofl::                        ::rofl::
Don't make me come back there!!!!

Offline Rooster Cruiser

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More Swedish Jokes
« Reply #1041 on: June 13, 2007, 05:53:32 AM »
One day, Sven had finished a hard day of work at the mill in Fergus Falls, Minnesota.  He walked home, anticipating the delicious meal his wife Lena was certain to have made for him.  However, when he turned the corner on his block he was surprised to see that his house was dark.  Walking into his house, he noticed that not only was the house dark, there was no food being cooked in the kitchen and there was absolutely no sign of Lena.

Sven went searching throughout the house for Lena, turning lights on as he went.  "Lena!  Lena, where are you?" he called out.  He climbed the stairs to the second floor and turned on the light in their bedroom, and that is when he saw Lena sitting on the bed with no clothes on!  "Lena!" Sven cried out, "Why are you sitting on ze bed vith no clothes on?"  Lena replied, "Vell I haff no clothes to wear."

"Nonsense!" Sven said as he marched to the closet and threw it open, "Just look at dis closet... One Dress! Two Dress! Three Dress!  ...Hello Ole... Four Dress!  Five Dress!..."
"Me and Earl was haulin' chickens / On a flatbed outta Wiggins..."

Wolf Creek Pass, by CW McCall

Offline Turbomallard

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1042 on: June 14, 2007, 02:06:54 AM »
 A biker was riding along a California beach when suddenly
the sky filled with clouds and, in a booming voice, the Lord
 said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all
ways, I will grant you one wish."
The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so
 I can ride over anytime I want."

 The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic, think of the
 enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The
 supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The
 concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust
several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for
 me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little
more time and think of something that would honor and
 glorify me."

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally he said,
 "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to
 know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she
 gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means
 when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make her truly
happy."

The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that
 bridge?"
"Do not read this signature under penalty of law."

airtac

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1043 on: June 14, 2007, 02:37:08 PM »


> "The Gunfighter"
>
> In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who
> wanted more than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the
> world. He practiced every minute of his spare time, but he knew
> that he wasn't yet first-rate and that there must be something he
> was doing wrong.
>
> Sitting in a saloon one Saturday night, he recognized an elderly man
> standing at the bar who -- in his day -- had the reputation of being
> the fastest gun in the West. The young cowboy took a place next to
> the old-timer, bought him a drink and told him the story of his great
> ambition. "Do you think you could give me some tips?" he asked.
>
> The old man looked him up and down and said, "Well, for one thing,
> you'r e wearing your gun too high. Tie the holster a little lower down
> on your leg."
>
> "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.
>
> "Sure will," replied the old-timer.
>
> The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his 44
> and shot the bow tie off the piano player.
>
> "That's terrific!" said the hot shot. "Got any more tips for me?"
>
> "Yep," said the old man. "Cut a notch out of your holster where the
> hammer hits it. That'll give you a smoother draw."
>
> "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the younger man.
>
> "You bet it will," said the old-timer.
>
> The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his
> gun in a blur, then shot a cufflink off the piano player.
>
> "Wow!" exclaimed the cowboy. "I'm learnin' somethin' here. Got any
> more tips?"
>
> The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. "See
> that axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it."
>
> The young man went over to the can and smeared some of the
> grease on the barrel of his gun.
>
> "No," said the old-timer, "I mean smear it all over the gun, handle
> and all."
>
> "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.
>
> The Old Timer said,
>
> "No, but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the piano, he's gonna
> shove that gun up your butt, and it won't hurt as much if it's all
> greased!"
>
>

Offline AirScorp

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1044 on: June 15, 2007, 04:50:56 PM »
It's all Greek to me!

Offline Rooster Cruiser

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1045 on: June 15, 2007, 06:28:28 PM »
"Me and Earl was haulin' chickens / On a flatbed outta Wiggins..."

Wolf Creek Pass, by CW McCall

Offline AirScorp

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1046 on: June 16, 2007, 07:22:33 AM »
Ok.....  ::angel::

How about this?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=mqoofwmQF5g

Totally unrelated to aviation, but, here goes..
Actually we do such dances some places in Greece sometimes and it really got me laughing
It's all Greek to me!

Offline Rooster Cruiser

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1047 on: June 16, 2007, 08:01:23 AM »
Ok.....  ::angel::

How about this?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=mqoofwmQF5g

Totally unrelated to aviation, but, here goes..
Actually we do such dances some places in Greece sometimes and it really got me laughing

A bit too Jewish for my taste, but what the heck... to each his own.  Hehe, J/K

I had an issue with it being called Psychedelic.  That music sounded more like retro-techno to me, or did it come from a Rave?  Now I could only manage about 2:30 of this Video before my right hand closed the window in order to prevent a meltdown of my brain, but I was wondering if the Bride ever showed up?  All these orthodox appearing Jews are dancing around with each other at what is supposed to be a family wedding, and the only female I saw was a little girl riding on her daddy's shoulders.

It is funny, in a confusing sort of way.   ::thinking:: ::loony:: ::unbelieveable::
"Me and Earl was haulin' chickens / On a flatbed outta Wiggins..."

Wolf Creek Pass, by CW McCall

Offline AirScorp

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Re: Humor....I need Humor!
« Reply #1048 on: June 16, 2007, 08:43:07 AM »
It is funny, in a confusing sort of way.

 ::rofl:: Well said!!!

Excstatic dancing is everywhere the same.. Whether it is on burning coals (as we have some in Greece), this one or just high on drugs ::sick:: you can put a rave in it and it will come the same..  ::loony::

The tune I think is Goa, what started the raves, at least around here some 10 years ago.. Died pretty fast too.. I like the electronic sound a lot but, if there isn't a good guitar riff and decent bassline in it, well, it misses out  8)

Yup, next time I think I'd better find something that's still funny the second time through  :)
It's all Greek to me!

Offline Rooster Cruiser

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Michael Jackson outsourced to India
« Reply #1049 on: June 16, 2007, 04:11:04 PM »
Now for a truly confusing video...  at least they inserted english subtitles for everyone who don't understand Hindi.

I guess even the King of Pop is not immune.

This thing is like a car crash, you can't NOT look.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtJRNyPK-lc
« Last Edit: June 16, 2007, 04:17:34 PM by Rooster Cruiser »
"Me and Earl was haulin' chickens / On a flatbed outta Wiggins..."

Wolf Creek Pass, by CW McCall