So, What Funny Comments Have You Heard on a Checkride (or in Any Aviation Test)?

[TheSoccerMom]

Some of us Chickens were talking, er, clucking, the other day, about the surprise comments (good AND bad) we've heard on checkrides.   

Things that we didn't see coming ,or expect.   

I'm wondering, you all must have plenty more out there, so...  Let's Hear 'Em!!!   

And this can be for pilots, engineers, navigators, mechanics, dispatchers, controllers, etc. etc., cluck, cluck, cluck.   OR, even normal people, too. 

                             

I'll jump in:

While taxiing out for my commercial checkride, just a pathetic, nervous heap of crap who didn't know my own NAME    , I was completely taken aback when the examiner turned to me and bellowed:  "WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?!?!  YOU CAN'T MAKE ANY MONEY IN THIS BUSINESS, WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU GETTING A COMMERCIAL??!??   OHH, I KNOW...  ARE YOU GONNA RUN DRUGS??"

I just about taxied into the taxiway lights before I realized he was KIDDING..........   

 

 

[Frank N. O.]

Haha, a good one. I wish I had some to share but I only got those I heard from clips of Rod Machado.

Well, the closest I got is a comment from the pilot on my Cardinal-ride. At the end of the 1 hour ride over northern Fyn we did a fly-by greeting the ATC in the tower and after we'd passed the tower then the pilot pulled up making my head heavier than ever and giving me a new close view of my stomach. After climbing a few seconds he said (in danish) something like "well, we'd better get this thing back to level again " and then I really lost a lot of weight, for a short while anyway. After tons of tests in MSFS with a Skyhawk I cam to the conclusion the manouver was less than 1g, probably barely 0.5g but it sure felt like something, both the climb and the level-out (I think that's what it's called).

Frank

[Mike]

We have a really cool lady from the DOI giving us our government checkrides. We have known her for a while and got to know her pretty well. She is tough but fair, but what our new guys never know is that she likes to mess with them a little here and there. The rookies are ususally so tense because it's their first OAS checkride that they never catch on.

Two years ago we hired a new pilot who, after getting this new and exciting job, went out an bought a brand new French fancy flight helmet (I think they are called MSA GAllet or something and are super light and so on....) for a lot of money. They were very new at the time and for quite a while there was discussions within the DOI if they should be approved or not. But it's a very good helmet and eventually even the government came around.
We were in the middle of his checkride (I sat in the back because I think I had a checkride too that day) when she said very calm and serious: "Oh, and by the way. Don't even think about showing up with this helmet on a government contract. The BLM hasn't approved those yet."
You could see it in his face, his shoulders sagging: "What?" "Uh...ok"
He was crushed, and he started flying like crap all of a sudden now thinking his 2,000+ investment was all for nothing. And she kept him dangling for quite a while to see how he would do under pressure before telling him she was messing with him.....

I had to do everything I could not to bust out laughing!

 

[G-man]

We have a really cool lady from the DOI giving us our government checkrides. We have known her for a while and got to know her pretty well. She is tough but fair,

Ahhhh ya gotta love Maria---I think she is only "fair" because of all the cannolis you guys have in the office on checkride day..

[Oddball]

are you suggesting they are bribing her G-Man?  Iam shocked at you thinking such a thing....

[ZK Kiwi]

This story takes place well before my time, but it is genuine and told to me by one of the people involved. It takes place in the mid 1960s at Rotorua NZ when a high time private pilot asks the local CAa examiner for a check ride to renew his instructors rating. (the pilot never does any instructing but likes to keep the rating current as it is a good way of ensuring his skills are sharp). The examiner turns up for the check ride which is essentially a dummy lesson in "effects of controls" where the examiner plays the part of the student pilot. The "instructor has a bit of a scheme afoot as he has known the examiner for yearsand likes to keep him on his toes. the aircraft chosen for the exercise is an unusual aircraft called a chrislea Ace, which is a British machine that looks a bit like a cross between a Taylorcraft and an Ercoupe. Turns out the Chrislea has a very unusual control system which has a wheel on a long stalk sticking out of the panel. The whell controls the Ailerons, but the whole thing pitots about a big ball joint on the panel , drop it down to go up, lift it up to go down. Side to side originall controlled the twin rudders but someone had found that just too weird so had modified it with big "organ pedal" type rudder controls.  If all you ever flew was a Chrislea, it would be quite intuitive, but for those used to normal controls it was a nightmare. The poor examiner ended up in a right state trying to chase the silly thing around the air. in turbulence the controls wggled out of sych amplifying all the porpoising movements. The "instructor" pilot patiently talked through all the exercises but tended do do as little of the flying as possible. Finally they land and the examiner (sweating profusely and barely able to speak) asked "can you actually fly this thing?" "yes, A little" was the reply from the grinning "instructor", " Its OK in good conditions, but i knew you would handle it OK". "thanks for your entirely misplaced confidence" the examiner replied, realising he had just been completely had....

[Rooster Cruiser]

Rotorua eh?  I just got done reading an article that mentioned Rotorua as one of the 5 places on Earth to NEVER visit!  It said that due to the sulfuric gasses emanating from the hot springs around town it was one of the stinkiest places on the planet.  Worse, the sulfur fumes permeate your clothes and they will require several washings before the stink is finally removed from them.  Is that true?

Here is the article:  http://information.travel.aol.com/discovery/stinkiest-places?ncid=AOLCOMMtravdynlprim0419

P.S.  #1 on that list is Hereford, Texas.  I have had the dubious pleasure of having been there, as well as #2 and #3.  Yes the smell of cattle in Hereford is everywhere, but the stink of local Law Enforcement was evern worse.  I got a speeding ticket for driving 72mph in a 70mph ZONE! in my purple Peterbuilt!

 

[ZK Kiwi]

Not true about Rotorua.... Yes there are hot springs and sulphurous gases, but you only really notice it in the immediate area of the vents. It ceratinly doesnt permeate clothes, unless youve soaked them in volcanic mud for a couple of weeks!  its actually a great town with lots of tourist activities and great scenery. The most popular destination in NZ for overseas tourists.  The article is a complete Crock....

[TheSoccerMom]

Kiwi, that's a funny story!  I'm going to use that line at the end.... 

"Thank you for your entirely missplaced confidence..." 

That is GOOD STUFF!!  And, in my case, too true for my own good.   

 

[Oddball]

I knew it S'Mom....you fly with your hands over your eyes lol

[TheSoccerMom]

You bet I do, Oddball!!   

I tell the guys whenever it gets too scary, I just close my eyes, and then it's not scary anymore....   

It works every time!!!!!   

 

[TheSoccerMom]

Back to comments on checkrides...

How about the FAA man saying,

"Why don't we just go back and land?  This is a waste of my time."   

 

 

 

[Frank N. O.]

Back to comments on checkrides...

How about the FAA man saying,

"Why don't we just go back and land?  This is a waste of my time."   

 

 

 

Uhm, was that a good thing or a bad thing?

Btw, I've forgotten it for days but now I remembered to say it: I love your new avatar!

Frank

[Fabo]

Well, it is not aviation, but I think I might put it here...

when I was doing my drivers license practical exam, I stopped for me and other guy to change places. Examinator (local policeman) told me, that if I parked like that in real, he would come, and tore all of my tires apart. Case thats what he does

well, with his look, and that addendum... it would freak me out if he wasnt in his uniform. While he was... it was kinda funny

[gibbo_335]

From a lost procedure..."I got him lost.... and ....that's where we stayed!!"