I'm sure I read it, but I must've forgotten to reply to this. Thank you for the post, it's very insightful and confirms what I've already analyzed about myself (a natural skill of mine that I surely got from my dad and one that's extremely useful) and I know my limits and what conditions I need for me to do certain tasks (this varies with the circumstances and how hard/important the task is, driving on icy roads while being tailgated by a truck is hard and important, arranging my desk less so, just to give an example).
If I ever even get close to a flying machine again I know I'll never get to fly a 747 or Concorde, but I don't want to either, at least not as PIC, maybe a passenger, and also my dreams aren't that wild compared to others, they may dream of a mansion, a Ferrari and a Gulfstream, I'm more of a nice house made to suit my use, a Ford/Subaru sedan with no more power/equipment than I need, and a Cardinal/Commander (ok the first and last both seem totally unoptainable, even just one of them but those are my highest dreams and my dreams are usually made to be realised, not just dreamt about).
I've had several shocks close to me this week but I'm trying to relax my nerves and regain concentration, and it seems to be helping. I've had bad times before so I've learned to read myself when I need to rest and not do anything with consequences, sort of like damage control when having a depression and sorrow spell that I know will stop in a few days from past experience. I'm still trying to live, still trying to enjoy life, I just need to find a place to do it, but life is vast so there are a lot of things to consider, but I'm still trying. I've got some questions out atm for how to live and what work I might get that I am capapable of and that I might enjoy, which is what I need to do to give it my best, and I got some searchers out for helping me and my mom, and we're already well underway getting that bad Peugeot replaced with a better car that's also cheaper to run in some areas (lower insurance (although I have no idea how a Subaru AWD can be cheaper than a small Peugeot 1.4) and the county pays the annual owner's tax since it'll be a handicap car).
And now back on topic, has anyone tried FSX? I'm sad to see Rod Machado is no longer the instructor, but the missions are great fun and very varied, from stunt flying to CAP and rescue missions, emergency tests, test flying etc. etc. and there are tools included (in the Deluxe Version) that has everything needed to create all kinds of add-ons, and it seems the SDK's are even better and easier to use than before.
Frank