Airplanes, Significant Others, and the power of Loooove....

[RagDragger]

OK, recent conversations with my ex (she's been that way for a while now) and responses to recent threads have inspired me to ask this.  How many of the pro pilot types on this board are divorced, nearly so, or simply had relationships go south due at least in part to flying?  Or, for those who just do this as a hobby, does it irritate your spouse/significant other?  Let's face it, we pour so much time, money, and a good portion of ourselves into flying that it's easy to see where an SO would get jealous.   

That, and it's been my experience that airplanes and women just don't mix.  For Pete's sake, I know LINEMEN that are divorced!  (No offense, S'mom, PiperGirl, and any other ladies on the board.  I'm sure y'all have your share of stories about men and airplanes too.)  Hell, I can't be the only one with a little frustration with the opposite sex.  Anyone else noticed this or is it just my weird perspective?

[Turbomallard]

Hooooooooooooo boy... I could write another book to reply to this one!

Short version. One of the main reasons that I have not been able to find a relationship (apart from my personality, that is) is the flying thing. I don't think anyone but another flier would be willing to put up with me or understand me. One of the main reasons (and there were others, to be sure) my last relationship went south was that she did not like flying. She didn't disapprove of my doing it or spending so much time with it, she just didn't like being in the air. This, to me, seemed odd, since we knew each other for a few years where we volunteered at the airshow. It turned out she liked the *idea* of the whole thing but not flying itself.

There are maybe three or five female pilots in my local area. One or two students on top of that. Tiz it. When I meet a woman pilot I try to tread that very fine line between overtly appearing interested and not being intrusive. I'm well aware that sexual harassment is alive and well, and that with so few female pilots they probably get less than nice treatment on a regular basis. I have no desire to give unwanted attention, yet obviously sometimes I'd like to spend time with a woman pilot I meet to get to know her a bit and see if there's any connection there. Among the non-aviation female population, they seem... not alarmed, but it seems to be a strong turn off when they find out I fly. Maybe I'm reading it all wrong.

Out of my friends who fly, some have spouses who aren't keen on the idea of flying but understand how very important it is to them. One friend's wife always asks him to call when he gets down. Not only will she not go flying with him, she won't even come out to the airport to see the airplane he's a partner in. And yet, she knew how badly he wanted it and said "do it!" when he wanted to buy in to the airplane. And then there's the bunch I see, especially when I teach ground school... the class dwindles, and sometimes I bump into former students in town and ask where they've been or why they quit. Very often they started seeing somebody who didn't want them to fly, so they quit.

Then there's the woman I met at the desk of an FBO a few years back... while waiting I made casual conversation and asked if she had ever thought about learning to fly. She said that she'd love to but when she mentioned it to her husband he "forbade" her to think of it... the connotation was that she wasn't smart and/or good enough. Luckily for the guy in question, he was not there, so he didn't have to deal with my giving him a piece of my mind.

I've had the privilege of meeting William Wynne at the Sonex party at Oshkosh over the years... and he sells a very cool shirt at his company:

http://www.flycorvair.com/tshirt.html

TM

[Rooster Cruiser]

Rag, this is what we call AIDS:

Aviation
Induced
Divorce
Syndrome

It takes a special woman to appreciate the passion we put into our careers.  99% of the women out there just cannot put up with the competition from anything like an airplane.  Add to that the separations and often no set schedule, and you have the making of a relationship breaker from the word go.

I was very fortunate when I met my current wife.  I explained to her long before we met in person what being a career pilot means to home and family life.  She is strong enough to withstand it (although not without a few complaints).  It doesn't hurt that to her and her friends it is a social status thing to be married to a pilot.  I have suggested to her during some tough times that I could make more money by going back to driving a truck at a union shop.  She shot that down when she said, "I didn't come to America to be married to a truck driver."

Good luck to you in pursuing your personal life, Rag.  Unfortuneately, the reality is that your personal life will often take a back seat to your flying, and that will mean many missed opportunities with a lot of gals.  That is just the way this business works, but sooner or later you will meet that special someone who will appreciate the qualities you have.

RC

[Fabo]

Ys, R/C, you quite got what I believe in, there always IS someone. It is just matter of time and maybe effort until you find someone. Would she be just an ordinary girl from the suburb, or would be there another factor ("I did not come ro America to be married to truck driver")

In every aspect of love of men there are women that would quit you because of.


Hope this does not need traslation. Pictured car is a Skoda 100 family historic.

[PiperGirl]

OK, From a woman pilot's point of view...

It completely irks me when I hear a woman going off about how horrible aviation is and how she wishes her SO wasn't involved in it and blah blah blah. and how it's such a guy thing... I love telling women like that that I'm a pilot - the looks on their faces is great   But, at our airport, we actually have quite a few women flying (still a much lower % then guys) and we offer intro to aviation/what-to-do-if-the-pilot-can't-fly-the-plane classes for women specifically. Stuff like this does help, and we're always willing to help ladies become more comfortable with the idea by letting them fly in our simulators ("Yes, it's completely safe, you don't even leave the ground...")

Aviation is more than a career - it's a complete life style. You have to find someone who appreciates unique life styles. I think like R/C said, you have to be completely honest about your career at the very start of the relationship, it's ups and downs (no pun intended), and tell the person that it's not going to change because of her. Then once you find someone that's willing to put up with your crazy life you have to go overboard to let her know that she's just as important as the plane. You have to take every opportunity (even if they're few and far between) to let her know she's loved and don't ever give her a reason to doubt it.

I'm one of the lucky few. While neither me or my husband fly professionally, we both work in aviation - he's a mechanic, and I work at a flight school. We both fly for pleasure and the biggest *fight* about aviation that we've had is who's going to log the PIC time 

Good Luck.

[RagDragger]

Fabo, I have absolutely no idea what that says, but I can catch the general idea.  I sorta figured those on this board would have interesting responses to this one, and I look forward to more.  Glad it's not just my skewed perspective, anyway. 

[airtac]

Fabo, I have absolutely no idea what that says, but I can catch the general idea.  I sorta figured those on this board would have interesting responses to this one, and I look forward to more.  Glad it's not just my skewed perspective, anyway. 

NAW, your perspective ain't skewed at all,
Pipergirl hit the nail on the head about treating your woman with lots of attention at every opportunity.
In true California fashion (she got the gold mine, I got the shaft) I've been there and I try to treat my new wife like the princess she is instead of letting things deteriorate to the "either me or the airplane" situation.
My wonderful wife even took a pinch-hitter course recently to better understand what my fascination is with aircraft-----she might even take a lesson or two

[BrianGMFS]

Chris, one of the Guys I work with had been seeing a lady for almost 5 years. She put up with his aviation addition for the most part but when he decided to go for broke and do the ATP, 90 day wonder Commercial/CFI/Multi/Instrument license program she told him have fun but don't call me again..... Well, that worked out ok since he passed the class, got his ratings, married a fellow student and they got CFI jobs at the same flight school, then he got a King Air FO job where I work (he was in line service here before he went to ATP) and now they are expecting their first child this spring. His wife is just as "plane" crazy as he is and Steph LOVES being a CFI. She's a pilot, quite a looker and is an outstanding cook.... I think Chris found the perfect woman 

Brian

[Baradium]

There are maybe three or five female pilots in my local area. One or two students on top of that. Tiz it. When I meet a woman pilot I try to tread that very fine line between overtly appearing interested and not being intrusive. I'm well aware that sexual harassment is alive and well, and that with so few female pilots they probably get less than nice treatment on a regular basis. I have no desire to give unwanted attention, yet obviously sometimes I'd like to spend time with a woman pilot I meet to get to know her a bit and see if there's any connection there. Among the non-aviation female population, they seem... not alarmed, but it seems to be a strong turn off when they find out I fly. Maybe I'm reading it all wrong.

There are definately fewer female pilots, but they're out there... I'd say we've been hovering around 10% at my company since I've been here.  We're a touch below right now, but I believe there might be another one in the next groundschool class.  That'd put us right at 6 ladies out of around 60 pilots.

[Turbomallard]

Send them to Illinois...

TM

[Baradium]

Send them to Illinois...

TM

Haha!

Actually, the one who left this spring I think went to that area.

You need to work your way into the regional airline scene somehow.  I'll bet there's a large number of ladies based in Chicago for various airlines.  Problem is that many of them may commute.


I'm not really a good one to get relationship advice from though. 


If you're old enough, you could always go after the cougars... 

[undatc]

If you're old enough, you could always go after the cougars... 

Wouldn't that be young enough?  I thought the term cougar applied to older women going after young guys.  There was actually an article in our school newspaper about "cougar hunting".  Give me a min and ill try to find it...


Here you are:  http://media.www.dakotastudent.com/media/storage/paper970/news/2007/04/24/Opinion/How-To.Bag.A.Cougar-2877333.shtml


Never said it was award winning writing, but none the less...

How to bag a cougar
Dane Dekrey
Issue date: 4/24/07 Section: Opinion
 

So, you want to bag yourself a cougar, do you?

Well, in that case, here are a few tips on getting that trophy cougar mounted above - or, better yet, below - your fireplace.

Location, Location, Location
Cougars primarily travel alone, straying from large packs. This creates two chief obstacles for avid hunters. First, you will have to broaden your hunting area if you really are serious about bagging a worthy cougar.

With an increasingly younger crowd flooding downtown Grand Forks, thanks to frat-friendly establishments like Joe Black's and Gilly's, there has been an alarming outward migration of cougars back to their respective zones of comfort.

These zones include, but are not limited to Thompson, Manville, and even stripper-friendly Pembina, the blessing from our northern neighbors.

My recommendation - don't waste your tag prematurely on a cougar you wouldn't be willing to show off to your friends, which is exactly what you'll do if you settle for an urban rather than rural cougar. Trust me, cougars are like wine, they only get better with age.

Next, to optimize your chances of success, you must broaden your already broadened search. Making rounds through the usuals in your Thompson's and Manville's simply won't do. If you're really serious, your pride will have to take a backseat to fully attain your cougar hunting potential.

Experts have spotted Boone and Crockett cougars in the most obscure of places; for example, my good friend and cougar aficionado recently found himself looking down the other end of the barrel while home in Bagley, Minn., as he, in an incredibly rare encounter, was transformed from hunter to hunted.

The cougar who had him in her crosshairs was a mature, 45-year-old recent divorcee in heat. Had she not been a high school classmate of his mother's, whose home that old cougar was willing to defile in order to satisfy her pent-up sexual angst, my friend would have forever solidified his legendary status.

But, on that night, it simply wasn't to be.

Now What?
OK, you spotted a cougar; you're probably asking yourself, "Now what?"

Because no one universally applicable hunting technique exists, this is where your hunt becomes a Choose Your Own Adventure book - you decide your own fate. Some prefer an aggressive approach; others stick to the old bait-and-switch; still others believe perfecting the art of coyness to be the ultimate cougar aphrodisiac.

Whatever poison you pick, it's important to know what to do when you are confronted with the wily tactics often perpetrated by a seasoned cougar. Luckily for you, despite the lack of consensus in what hunting methodology is most successful, a representative sample size of cougar hunters, n, were surveyed, under proper randomization, and four generally accepted rules emerged:

1) If the cougar cannot remember her exact year of graduation from high school when asked, that's a green light to shoot, tag, and bag.

2) If you remind the cougar of any of the following - son, godson, half-son, son-in-law, and or any other combination of son and another word - exploit this weakness; it's called an "Oedipal Opportunity," don't squander it.

3) Never, for any reason, be ashamed of bagging a cougar. As one Minneapolis-based hunter quipped, "Remember, you have to slay a few dragons on your way to the princess."

4) Don't be fooled - a sober cougar is no cougar at all; it's simply a soccer mom in disguise.

With that, I bid all you budding hunters luck; seek, find, and fornicate.

In the words of freedom fighter Stephen Colbert, "Cougars, you're on notice."

[G-man]

How to bag a cougar

Now that thar is funny---I dont care who you are..

Maybe S'mom would like to comment on # 4..

"Don't be fooled - a sober cougar is no cougar at all; it's simply a soccer mom in disguise." 

[airtac]

How to bag a cougar

Now that thar is funny---I dont care who you are..

Maybe S'mom would like to comment on # 4..

"Don't be fooled - a sober cougar is no cougar at all; it's simply a soccer mom in disguise." 

Yep, that IS funny but I sense a storm rumbling on or near a private strip somewhere in Idaho  Before venturing near that area I most certainly would get a complete briefing including the possibility of severe turbulence and lightning 

[G-man]

Yep, that IS funny but I sense a storm rumbling on or near a private strip somewhere in Idaho  Before venturing near that area I most certainly would get a complete briefing including the possibility of severe turbulence and lightning 
[/quote]

Yep you're right---I sense a "bitch slappin" comin.... S'mom will know what I mean.....