Chicken Wings Forum

Roost Air Lounge => General Discussion => Topic started by: fireflyr on December 24, 2006, 06:13:08 PM

Title: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: fireflyr on December 24, 2006, 06:13:08 PM: Merry Christmas everyone, ::angel::
My wish this Christmas eve is for all my friends and friends-to-be on Chicken Wings to have a wonderful and joyous holiday. Eat too much ::sick::, laugh too much ::rofl::, and spread love to all you meet ::wave::
Jim.
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: happylanding on December 24, 2006, 09:05:03 PM: Quote from: fireflyr on December 24, 2006, 06:13:08 PM
Merry Christmas everyone, ::angel::
My wish this Christmas eve is for all my friends and friends-to-be on Chicken Wings to have a wonderful and joyous holiday. Eat too much ::sick::, laugh too much ::rofl::, and spread love to all you meet ::wave::
Jim.

I imagine that once the "eat too much" point I will bang my head, checking at the scale! ::banghead:: ::banghead::
Have a merry Xmas you too Jim, and a merry Xmas to everybody in this forum!

::angel:: Love ::angel::
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: switchtech on December 25, 2006, 05:03:02 AM: Merry Christmas to All, and to all - Good night! ::angel:: ::sleep::

jbs
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Frank N. O. on December 25, 2006, 06:55:46 AM: Merry Christmass, happy holidays and peace to the world. I got a nice roast (one of a few versions of a traditional danish christmas dinner) and while there wasn't that much else since it's just my mom, brother Elvis and me then it was nice and I'm satisfied with the day. My sincerest best wishes for all good people here for a great time that can hopefully last into the new year and beyond.

Greetings |:)\ ::angel::
Frank
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Mic on December 25, 2006, 11:37:52 AM: Merry Christmas to all of you ... hope Roost Air Chicken are still alive after this traditional diner !!!

I wish you the best for you and your family
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Stef on December 25, 2006, 11:44:15 AM: Merry Christmas also from the Roost Air Crew!! ::wave::

My brother is just in a plane right now and will arrive this afternoon. Since he's flying through London, I guess I'll have to cross my fingers for him to be here in time! We will celebrate Christmas today then! Boy, I can't wait to open my presents!!! ;D

Oh... and since we'll both be at our father's place and I forgot to bring this week's comic with me, I will only be able to update the comic on Wednesday instead of Tuesday!! Shame on me!! I beg your forgiveness!! ::bow:: I think this is the first time this has happened (or will happen) since the inauguration of this site! ::banghead::
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Zaffex on December 25, 2006, 05:52:25 PM: Quote
Oh... and since we'll both be at our father's place and I forgot to bring this week's comic with me, I will only be able to update the comic on Wednesday instead of Tuesday!! Shame on me!! I beg your forgiveness!! I think this is the first time this has happened (or will happen) since the inauguration of this site!

Quite alright, it happens. A merry Christmas to you all!
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: TheSoccerMom on December 25, 2006, 09:13:51 PM: MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love, the Soccer Mom :-*
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Baradium on December 26, 2006, 12:23:30 AM: No strip tomorrow?! Oh the humanity!!! :'(

<sulks away>

Anyway, it's ok, we'll forgive you this once... but let it happen once more and it'll be a mob!
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Stef on December 26, 2006, 10:18:02 AM: Okay, I need to apologize AGAIN! ::bow::

Mike brought his laptop and we found an "unused" strip somewhere in the depths of his harddisk, so we managed to avoid the absolute catastrophic disaster of not having a new strip on Tuesday!!

Can you imagine? No strip on Tuesday? :'( I hope such a thing will never happen! ::cowboy::

Sorry for scaring you guys!
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Mike on December 26, 2006, 10:36:47 AM: CHRISTMAS IS SAFED !!! ::rofl::

There IS a strip on Tuesday!! Halleluja!!

I have arrived in Austria (yay) !!!

uhm...my luggage..... not so much ::banghead::
hopefully I'll get it today or I am gonna go in there like this: ::rambo:: ::eek::

Luckily I carry my laptop with me and they did give me a toothbrush at the airport.....
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Frank N. O. on December 26, 2006, 10:37:11 AM: LOL, np at all, and what a cool comic too :D

Edit: Welcome back to this side of the Atlantic, hope you'll have a great time ::wave::
Did you use the line: Yes I'm a frequent flyer. At check-in? :D Hope you get your luggage back intact soon.

Frank
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: TheSoccerMom on December 26, 2006, 03:22:19 PM: Herro Mikey!!!!!!!!

Glad you made it home... awesome... but hey, if you want your LUGGAGE, well, uhm, it's HERE.... ya gotta love the airlines!!!! ::)

Hope you have a terrific time with all your family!!! Give them a hug from here!! Cheers!!! 8)
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Baradium on December 27, 2006, 12:12:53 AM: Quote from: TheSoccerMom on December 26, 2006, 03:22:19 PM
Herro Mikey!!!!!!!!

Glad you made it home... awesome... but hey, if you want your LUGGAGE, well, uhm, it's HERE.... ya gotta love the airlines!!!! ::)

Hey!

Quote
Hope you have a terrific time with all your family!!! Give them a hug from here!! Cheers!!! 8)

It think he's back from his terrific time with family, no?
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: FlyboyGil on December 04, 2007, 07:47:46 PM: http://downloads.raileurope.com/holidayCard/06_christmas_card.html ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: G-man on December 04, 2007, 08:35:57 PM: Quote from: FlyboyGil on December 04, 2007, 07:47:46 PM
http://downloads.raileurope.com/holidayCard/06_christmas_card.html ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Ok ya beat me to that one but not this, and we will see how long its here before it gets deleted:

http://s76.photobucket.com/albums/j35/helokat/album%20name/?action=view&current=happy-holidays.flv

Edited to remove the "picture link"---did I "pique" your interest now... ::whistle:: ::whistle::
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: FlyboyGil on December 04, 2007, 09:19:18 PM: http://www.jibjab.com/originals/farting_elves_12_days_of_christmas

Continuing on the theme :D

P.S. This is my 800th post!!!
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: G-man on December 04, 2007, 10:35:10 PM: Your First Christmas Card!

(http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j35/helokat/funnies/ATT133489.gif)

Scroll down and you'll see Santa's willy!

.
*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*
For God's sake... Act your age... there is no Santa
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: 4X-NTY on December 06, 2007, 01:41:31 PM: Yay,merry christmas every one :D
well,i don't celebrate it,BUT,i do go to nazerath cause it beutifull in there,and there is good candies over there.
oh yeah,and happy hanuka :D
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: FlyboyGil on December 06, 2007, 03:43:17 PM: Quote from: 4X-NTY on December 06, 2007, 01:41:31 PM
Yay,merry christmas every one :D
well,i don't celebrate it,BUT,i do go to nazerath cause it beutifull in there,and there is good candies over there.
oh yeah,and happy hanuka :D
Well Thanks Dog. Happy Hanuka to ya.
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: FlyboyGil on December 17, 2007, 01:24:05 AM: Now we know how Santa gets about the world so quickly
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: G-man on December 17, 2007, 03:23:00 AM: (http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j35/helokat/funnies/3ba2fafb.gif)
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: AirScorp on December 17, 2007, 07:45:42 PM: Ass-K*cking G!
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: FlyboyGil on December 18, 2007, 03:11:50 PM: FAA BANS SANTA'S SLEIGH

In a surprise move today The Federal Aviation Administration and Homeland Security joined forces to unilaterally deny domestic air space clearance to the traditional Christmas Eve sleigh ride by Santa Claus.

Santa's ride has been bringing joy and happiness to millions of children for generations. Irate parents worldwide are said to be absolutely distraught. "Who's going to eat the milk and cookies for a start?" asked one parent.

Homeland Security has said that any penetration into American air space will be considered an act of aggression as part of their duty in keeping American airspace and borders safe. A spokesman from Homeland Security told us, "We just can't have every jolly, rosy cheeked, white haired fruitcake in the world flying around American air space unsupervised."

FAA are scratching their heads about where to begin certifying Santa's sleigh as safe for flight. There are no standards regulating the stability and performance of reindeer, also the FAA simply don't know how to inspect a machine which, in their minds, "totally defies the laws of physics".

The FAA will consider granting clearance if all FAA regulations are met. Here are a few:

* As a powered aircraft, Santa's sleigh requires a proper licensed propulsion system (Reindeer fed on magic dust are not mentioned in the regs and can't be used).

* A single red light at the lead of the pack of reindeer does not constitute a set of running lights

* The Sleigh must have a valid maintenance certificate and must meet aerodynamic requirements and be tested in a wind-tunnel.

* Detailed flight plans must be plotted and submitted to the FAA at least six months in advance

Santa Claus is said to be very upset by the reaction from these US agencies and feels the actions are a direct violation of the Children's basic human rights.

Homeland Security laid down the following ultimatum to Santa Claus, "If we see any flying sleighs in the skies over America you can bet you bottom dollar there'll be a F-16 with sidewinders blasting it outta the sky."
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: PiperGirl on December 19, 2007, 02:57:22 PM: :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( You mean I'm not going to get any presents from Santa this year??? ::eek:: ::unbelieveable:: Just goes to prove that the FAA isn't happy until your not happy... ::complaining:
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: gibbo_335 on December 19, 2007, 08:39:30 PM: Hey Fellow Coupers ::wave::

Sorry i've been away from the forum SSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo long, very busy over here with my new job and PPL test study (check ride is booked for the 24th January YAY!!) anyway enough excuses.

We are off on Christmas holidays to Vanuatu, leave tomorrow, ;D I have even booked a dual flight in Air Club Vila's C172 to go for a sceanic...WOOO HOOO!!! so MERRY CHRISTMAS and A HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone. ::drinking::
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: FlyboyGil on December 19, 2007, 08:53:22 PM: Quote from: gibbo_335 on December 19, 2007, 08:39:30 PM
Hey Fellow Coupers ::wave::

Sorry i've been away from the forum SSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo long, very busy over here with my new job and PPL test study (check ride is booked for the 24th January YAY!!) anyway enough excuses.

We are off on Christmas holidays to Vanuatu, leave tomorrow, ;D I have even book a flight in Air Club Vila's C172 to go for a sceanic...WOOO HOOO!!! so MERRY CHRISTMAS and A HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone. ::drinking::

Have fun in Vanuatu mate!!! ::drinking:: ::drinking:: ::drinking:: ::drinking:: Be sure to get back, so we can have chat again! :) :) :) :)
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: TheSoccerMom on December 20, 2007, 02:59:09 AM: WE'VE MISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSED YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have a wonderful time!!!!!!!! Happy holly-daze to you!! :-*

S'Mom**
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: FlyboyGil on December 20, 2007, 03:03:25 PM: Santa’s FAA inspection…

Around the middle of December each year the FAA sends an inspector up to the North Pole to inspect Santa's operation, the sleigh, reindeer, and give Santa a flight proficiency check and clean bill of health. Once this is done a special flight permit for Christmas is issued and allows Santa to transverse airspace at will. He's also issued time slots and transponder codes, a special flight plan etc,,,

This year, the fed's really put Santa through the wringer.. They pulled the sleigh all apart, went through every record back to the late '80's,,, Tested all his avionics, pitot/static, you name it... Gave Santa a FULL physical and each of the reindeer a physical also.... They meticulously went over the flight plan and made revision after revision.... They went over weight and balance for hours,, and they quizzed Santa on reg's and emergency procedures for what seemed like an eternity...

Finally, after finding nothing really wrong it was time for the flight test. The sleigh was all set and preflighted, the reindeer were ready, and Santa was in the cockpit... But just before the FAA inspector climbed in, he pulls a shotgun from his flight bag and starts loading it.. Santa was shocked. Perplexed, Santa asked the inspector,

"What the *#@! is the gun for!!??!!!

For the first time, the steely eyed FAA man broke from the all business attitude, his shoulders relaxed a bit and a spark of warmth came over his face for a moment.... Then, almost boyishly, he finally said,

"I'm really NOT SUPPOSE to tell you this but,,,,,,,, "

He leaned in close to Santa and whispered in his ear,,

"You're gonna' loose an engine on take off..."

Then he went back to loading the shotgun....
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: airtac on December 20, 2007, 06:33:58 PM: Has this been posted somewhere on the forum yet?
Oh Well, here it is anyway ;D

Twas the night before Christmas, and out on the ramp,
Not an airplane was stirring, not even a Champ.
The aircraft were fastened to tie downs with care,
In hopes that come morning, they all would be there.
The fuel trucks were nestled, all snug in their spots,
With gusts from two-forty at 39 knots.
I slumped at the fuel desk, now finally caught up,
And settled down comfortably, resting my butt.
When the radio lit up with noise and with chatter,
I turned up the scanner to see what was the matter.
A voice clearly heard over static and snow,
Called for clearance to land at the airport below.
He barked his transmission so lively and quick,
I'd have sworn that the call sign he used was "St. Nick".
I ran to the panel to turn up the lights,
The better to welcome this magical flight.
He called his position, no room for denial,
"St. Nicholas One, turnin left onto final.
And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a Rutan-built sleigh, with eight Rotax Reindeer!!
With vectors to final, down the glideslope he came,
As he passed all fixes, he called them by name.
"Now Ringo! Now Tolga! Now Trini and Bacun!
On Comet! On Cupid! What pills was he takin?
While controllers were sittin, and scratchin thier head,
They phoned to my office, and I heard it with dread.
The message they left was both urgent and dour,
"When Santa pulls in, have him please call the tower."
He landed like silk, with the sled runners sparking,
Then I heard "Left at Charlie" and "Taxi to parking."
He slowed to a taxi, turned off of three-oh
And stopped on the ramp with a "HO, ho-ho-ho..."
He stepped out of the sleigh, but before he could talk,
I ran out to meet him with my best set of chocks.
His red helmet and goggles were covered with frost,
And his beard was all blackened from Reindeer exhaust.
His breath smelled like peppermint, gone slightly stale,
And he puffed on a pipe, but he didn't inhale.
His cheeks were all rosy and jiggled like jelly,
His boots were as black as a crop dusters belly.
He was chubby and plump, in his suit of bright red,
And he asked me to "fill it, with hundred low-lead."
He came dashing in from the snow-covered pump,
I knew he was anxious for drainin' the sump.
I spoke not a word, but went straight to my work,
And I filled up the sleigh, but I spilled like a jerk.
He came out of the restroom, and sighed in relief,
Then he picked up a phone for a Flight Service brief.
And I thought as he silently scribed in his log,
These reindeer could land in an eighth-mile fog.
He completed his pre-flight, from the front to the rear,
Then he put on his headset, and I heard him yell "Clear!!"
And laying a finger on his push-to-talk,
He called up the tower for clearance and squawk.
"Take taxiway Charlie, the southbound direction,
Turn right three-two-zero at pilots discretion".
He sped down the runway, the best of the best,
"Your traffics a Grumman, inbound from the west."
Then I heard him proclaim, as he climbed thru the night,
Merry Christmas to all!! I have traffic in sight."
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: airtac on December 20, 2007, 06:39:42 PM: AND ANOTHER (can't help myself) :D :D

Merry Christmas

IF YOU SEE A FAT MAN…

Who's jolly and cute,

Wearing a beard and a red flannel suit,

And if he is chuckling and laughing away,

While flying around in a miniature sleigh,
With eight tiny reindeer to pull him along,

Then let's face it...

Your eggnog's too strong!

Merry Christmas and a Happy 2008!
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: G-man on December 21, 2007, 02:16:13 AM: http://www.andycouch.com/whitetrashxmas/ (http://www.andycouch.com/whitetrashxmas/)
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: FlyboyGil on December 21, 2007, 03:49:12 AM: Quote from: G-man on December 21, 2007, 02:16:13 AM
http://www.andycouch.com/whitetrashxmas/ (http://www.andycouch.com/whitetrashxmas/)

::rofl:: ::rofl:: ::rofl:: ::rofl:: ::rofl:: ::rofl:: ::rofl:: ::rofl:: ::rofl:: ::rofl:: ::rofl::

HAAAHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!! THAT WAS SO HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Rooster Cruiser on December 22, 2007, 05:40:42 AM: As DonYan would put it in his native tongue:

"Feliz Navidad y Ano Nuevos, mi Amigos!" ::wave:: ::wave:: ::wave::

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all you Chickens in da Coop. |:)\ |:)\ |:)\
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Fabo on December 22, 2007, 07:37:55 PM: (http://dl.cassovia-va.sk/img/pf08.jpg)

oh, and this shot could take place just as well in Life by camera, shot today morning in our backyard ::whistle::
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Oddball on December 22, 2007, 08:51:04 PM: Quote from: FlyboyGil on December 17, 2007, 01:24:05 AM
Now we know how Santa gets about the world so quickly
how can he do that this year? all the eagles are grounded due to fatigue cracking?
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: FlyboyGil on December 24, 2007, 01:10:35 AM: http://www.jacquielawson.com/viewcard.asp?code=0212320003

This one's cute! :) :) :)
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: G-man on December 24, 2007, 01:13:29 AM: Have at it---Of course I only checked out the "nice'n'naughty" version.. ::whistle:: ::whistle::

http://www.simonsezsanta.com/index.php (http://www.simonsezsanta.com/index.php)
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Frank N. O. on December 24, 2007, 09:27:18 AM: Merry Christmas, Happy Holiday, Happy New Year, Peace on Earth, Clear Skies and Cheap AvGas To All! (http://www.totalnfs.net/Remko/smilies/Peace!.gif) ::wave::

Frank
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: airtac on December 24, 2007, 12:10:10 PM: Quote from: G-man on December 24, 2007, 01:13:29 AM
Have at it---Of course I only checked out the "nice'n'naughty" version.. ::whistle:: ::whistle::

http://www.simonsezsanta.com/index.php (http://www.simonsezsanta.com/index.php)
Santa is amazing ::eek::
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Turbomallard on December 24, 2007, 05:38:24 PM: Quote from: airtac on December 24, 2007, 12:10:10 PM
Quote from: G-man on December 24, 2007, 01:13:29 AM
Have at it---Of course I only checked out the "nice'n'naughty" version.. ::whistle:: ::whistle::

http://www.simonsezsanta.com/index.php (http://www.simonsezsanta.com/index.php)
Santa is amazing ::eek::

First thing I asked was for him to hit the reindeer... and he did. For more fun, ask him to hit it with a bat. ::silly::

The elf, unfortunately, isn't as amenable to instructions. :(

TM
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: G-man on December 25, 2007, 08:15:48 AM: Quote from: Turbomallard on December 24, 2007, 05:38:24 PM
Quote from: airtac on December 24, 2007, 12:10:10 PM
Quote from: G-man on December 24, 2007, 01:13:29 AM
Have at it---Of course I only checked out the "nice'n'naughty" version.. ::whistle:: ::whistle::
http://www.simonsezsanta.com/index.php (http://www.simonsezsanta.com/index.php)
Santa is amazing ::eek::
First thing I asked was for him to hit the reindeer... and he did. For more fun, ask him to hit it with a bat. ::silly::
The elf, unfortunately, isn't as amenable to instructions. :(
TM

Ya'll are just way too polite---Try some "other" verbs.. ::whistle:: ::whistle::
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Panzerrat on December 25, 2007, 01:41:44 PM: News note today: Santa was sucked into the #4 engine of an A380 flying from Singapore to Sidney last night. Hope he got to you first.

Merry Christmas, everyone.
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Panzerrat on December 25, 2007, 01:45:19 PM: Just came across this one.

THE ORIGINAL "SANTA PHYSICS" PROPOSAL AND A REBUTTAL

THE ORIGINAL "SANTA PHYSICS" PROPOSAL:

1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set(2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

This little post tends to ruin Christmas for small children. Like my childhood. Never grow up with Aerospace engineers. "Dad, why do birds fly?" I learned why birds fly...
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: airtac on December 25, 2007, 05:37:19 PM: NO SANTA ! ::unbelieveable::

I know better--He ate the cinnamon roll I put out last night but left the brandy (something about a sobriety checkpoint down the road) AND, I got the new leatherman multi-tool I asked for. HMPHH !
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Fabo on December 25, 2007, 06:51:13 PM: @2) Exclude German, Czech, Slovak, Hungarian and other children...

one image says it all, well, at least for the German-speaking bunch in here.

(http://www.anti-santa.cz/img/zabava/zakaz.jpg)

We respect your traditions - how about you respecting us?
(http://www.anti-santa.cz/index_en.php)
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Mike on December 25, 2007, 07:08:27 PM: HA HA !

Good one Fabo!

Merry Christmas Everybody!
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: FlyboyGil on December 25, 2007, 08:33:55 PM: MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL YOU CHICKENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |:)\ |:)\ |:)\ |:)\ |:)\
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Turbomallard on December 27, 2007, 12:09:36 AM: Quote from: G-man on December 25, 2007, 08:15:48 AM
Quote from: Turbomallard on December 24, 2007, 05:38:24 PM
Quote from: airtac on December 24, 2007, 12:10:10 PM
Quote from: G-man on December 24, 2007, 01:13:29 AM
Have at it---Of course I only checked out the "nice'n'naughty" version.. ::whistle:: ::whistle::
http://www.simonsezsanta.com/index.php (http://www.simonsezsanta.com/index.php)
Santa is amazing ::eek::
First thing I asked was for him to hit the reindeer... and he did. For more fun, ask him to hit it with a bat. ::silly::
The elf, unfortunately, isn't as amenable to instructions. :(
TM

Ya'll are just way too polite---Try some "other" verbs.. ::whistle:: ::whistle::

Like...? ::angel:: ::angel::

TM
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: G-man on December 27, 2007, 12:27:45 AM: Quote from: Turbomallard on December 27, 2007, 12:09:36 AM
Ya'll are just way too polite---Try some "other" verbs.. ::whistle:: ::whistle::

Like...? ::angel:: ::angel::

TM
[/quote]

This being a "family" site, I cannot say ::thinking:: ::thinking:: ---use your imagination..
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Turbomallard on December 28, 2007, 12:50:43 AM: Quote from: G-man on December 27, 2007, 12:27:45 AM

This being a "family" site, I cannot say ::thinking:: ::thinking:: ---use your imagination..

I did. Evidently my imagination isn't very good (this could explain much). All I could manage was to get her to smooch Santa a couple of times and take off her hat and belt. I did, however, get Santa to behead the reindeer with a sawsall, which was kind of cool.

TM
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Oddball on December 31, 2007, 02:24:02 PM: ::drinking:: well happy Hogmanny from Bonnie but Dreech Scotland ::drinking:: ::drinking:: ::drinking:: ::cowboy:: ;D
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: TheSoccerMom on January 01, 2008, 03:01:39 AM: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!! ::drinking::

Hope that 2008 is just wonderful for all of you!!!! :D
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: AirScorp on January 01, 2008, 05:27:46 AM: Wishing 2008 flight hours of fun, beer dousing and strippers to all of you!!!!
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: 4X-NTY on January 01, 2008, 01:53:46 PM: Happy new year!!! 2008 is here,and yesterday's night (in israel we call it "silvester") rocked,the best opening of the new year i could ever wish!
hope you also had fun at 00:00 1/1/2008!
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: FlyboyGil on December 02, 2008, 11:39:45 PM: The season is coming!! ::drinking:: ::drinking:: ::drinking::

http://www.flashfunpages.com/couple.swf
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: G-man on December 03, 2008, 03:12:18 AM: (http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j35/helokat/funnies/Hollidays_card1.jpg)
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Fabo on December 03, 2008, 11:37:29 AM: Is it the season already? Well then...

Got any slovak/czech speaking contact in your list? Well send them!

Translation what it says

To all who wished me all the best in 2008 I say:

IT DID NOT HELP AT ALL!

Therefore, for 2009 I only accept money, alcohol and petrol vouchers.

Thank you!
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: G-man on December 05, 2008, 09:52:15 AM: When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.

Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the rum. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to put it?'

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: G-man on December 19, 2008, 06:55:31 PM: In the style of ?? ?? ??

There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world.

However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 379 million (according to the population reference bureau).

At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there at least one good child in each.
-Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the Earth, assuming east to the west (which seems logical).

This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat what ever snack that have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get onto the next house.

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the Earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks.

This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second--3, 000 times the speed of sound. For purpose of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15-20 miles per hour.

The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than medium sized LEGO set (2 pounds) the sleigh is carrying over 500,000 tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds.

Even granting that the "flying" reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them---Santa would need 360, 000 reindeer. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54, 000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).

A mass of nearly 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized in 4.26 thousands of a second, or right about the time that Santa reaches the 5th house on his trip.

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 mph in 0.001 seconds, would be a subject to acceleration forces of 17,000 Gs. A 250-pound Santa (which seems very slim considering the high calorie snacks he must have consumed over the years) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs.

Hmmm--so does Santa really exist..

Happy Holidays!
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Rooster Cruiser on December 19, 2008, 07:17:24 PM: Dude... haven't you ever heard of Santa's Magic Dust??? It does far more than give the old guy a rush! Hehe. >:D
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: FlyboyGil on December 20, 2008, 01:12:07 PM: This is good!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyduncFpzl4
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: FlyboyGil on January 11, 2009, 10:02:13 PM: I know it's a little late, but still
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: gibbo_335 on January 12, 2009, 04:08:02 AM: Quote from: FlyboyGil on December 20, 2008, 01:12:07 PM
This is good!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SecVCh9dg4I

YER Right Gilly that is GOLD!!!! ::rofl::
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: TheSoccerMom on January 13, 2009, 08:18:41 PM: HAAA, that is funny!!!

But hey, don't they KNOW?!? They just need to buy her an AIRPLANE to get out of the doghouse..... ::whistle::

::whistle::

::whistle::
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: FlyboyGil on December 06, 2009, 07:31:10 PM: Has this one been posted here before? Oh well, some people have too much time on their hands. Real neato though!

http://www.flixxy.com/best-christmas-lights-display.htm
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: FlyboyGil on December 20, 2009, 02:10:56 AM: This is cute. So it might make you sick! ::sick:: ::sick::

http://ak.imgag.com/imgag/product/preview/flash/bws8Shell_fps24.swf?ihost=http://ak.imgag.com/imgag&brandldrPath=/product/full/el/&cardNum=/product/full/ap/3166187/graphic1
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Oddball on December 20, 2009, 03:14:04 PM: Pass the beer and strippers , need them after watching that ::sick::
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: FlyboyGil on December 25, 2009, 01:16:05 AM: I wanna say; MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL YOU CHICKENS!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you all. Have an awsome Day!

Gilly! |:)\
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: TheSoccerMom on December 25, 2009, 01:59:58 AM: Well said, Gilly!! ::bow::

A very, very MERRY CHRISTMAS to everyone!! ::drinking::

:D

8)
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Rooster Cruiser on December 25, 2009, 04:37:55 AM: Quote from: FlyboyGil on December 20, 2009, 02:10:56 AM
This is cute. So it might make you sick! ::sick:: ::sick::

http://ak.imgag.com/imgag/product/preview/flash/bws8Shell_fps24.swf?ihost=http://ak.imgag.com/imgag&brandldrPath=/product/full/el/&cardNum=/product/full/ap/3166187/graphic1

The cuteness quotient might have been so high to cause sickness in us adults, but my two kids were absolutely enchanted by that!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone in da coop from the Rooster Cruiser!

::wave:: ::wave:: ::wave:: ::wave:: ::wave:: ::wave:: ::wave:: ::wave::
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Skid Kid on December 29, 2009, 09:47:24 AM: Merry Christmas (late) and Happy New Years (early) from Afghanistan! ::rambo::
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Ragwing on December 29, 2009, 03:41:02 PM: Skid Kid,

Keep your skids light!
And wishing you a great and safe 2010.
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Mike on December 30, 2009, 12:28:53 AM: too late for x-mas but:

Happy New Year Everybody!!!

especially to you Skid Kid and all your buddies and fellow aviators fighting and away from your families!
I know howmuch fun this is especially around the holidays! ::loony::
(don't miss it at all)
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: FlyboyGil on December 12, 2010, 08:59:20 PM: This is cute

http://ak.imgag.com/imgag/product/preview/flash/pdShell.swf?ihost=http://ak.imgag.com/imgag&brandldrPath=/product/full/el/&cardNum=/product/full/ap/3173936/graphic1
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: gibbo_335 on December 14, 2010, 12:01:57 PM: AWWWWW Gilly that is awesome!!!!!!
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Frank N. O. on December 15, 2010, 10:26:49 AM: Quote from: gibbo_335 on December 14, 2010, 12:01:57 PM
AWWWWW Gilly that is awesome!!!!!!
I agree!

Frank

P.S. Sorry for not being that active but I've been offline for a little while due to computer problems.
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: FlyboyGil on December 25, 2010, 01:32:52 AM: MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL YOU CHICKENS OUT THERE!!! HAVE AN AWSOME DAY!!!!!!!! |:)\ |:)\

Cheers ::drinking::

Gilly |:)\

http://i117.photobucket.com/albums/o79/mareeshastar/CHRISTMAS%20BACKGROUNDS/SantaDances.gif
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: FlyboyGil on December 10, 2011, 06:43:20 PM: As G-Man said in risque humour, the season is approaching
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: FlyboyGil on December 10, 2011, 06:44:20 PM: :D
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: FlyboyGil on December 10, 2011, 07:00:47 PM: IT's back!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6D6eP6EMj4&feature=related
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Frank N. O. on December 12, 2011, 04:44:30 PM: LOL, very funny cartoons!

Happy Christmas and a Merry New Year! ::wave:: |:)\

Frank
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: FlyboyGil on December 22, 2011, 12:07:15 AM: http://www.elion.ee/docs/joulukaart/eng/ ;D
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: G-man on December 24, 2011, 07:03:29 PM: In the interest of being politically correct and not upsetting any third parties, I did some research, sought legal assistance and felt the following would meet those requirements for any "official" greeting that may be sent out by myself... Hopefully the "official" greeting cards have not gone to the printer yet.

From me ("the wishor") to you ("the wishee's")
Please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I wish you a financially successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2012, but with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures or sects, and having regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or sexual preference of the wishee. By accepting this greeting you are bound by the below cited terms and that this greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal:

1.This greeting is freely transferable provided that no alteration shall be made to the original greeting and that the proprietary copyright rights of the wishor's are acknowledged.

2.This greeting implies no promise by the wishor to actually implement the inferences contained in this correspondence.

3.This greeting may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishee's in certain geographical locations.

4.This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably as may be expected within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first.

5.The wishor warrants this greeting only for the limited replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wishor's....

Ya got it?.

Well, we could just risk it anyway and say,

”A SUPER 2012 TO Y'ALL!”
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Mike on December 24, 2011, 08:09:59 PM: HA HA! ::rofl:: Love it!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!! ::wave::

Looking forward to another great year of "fowl" jokes and aviation fun of all kinds . . . .

::drinking::
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: FlyboyGil on December 24, 2011, 11:37:31 PM: MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL YOU CHICKENS!!! |:)\ |:)\ |:)\ I love you all! |:)\ |:)\
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Dysko on December 25, 2011, 08:13:04 AM: 8-engined sleigh S-ANTA cleared to land. Merry Christmas everybody! ;D
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: FlyboyGil on January 01, 2012, 02:17:48 AM: Happy New Year all you chickens! A prosperous 2012! |:)\ |:)\
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Kilrah on January 01, 2012, 08:53:00 PM: Happy new year to all!

Quote from: Dysko on December 25, 2011, 08:13:04 AM
8-engined sleigh S-ANTA cleared to land. Merry Christmas everybody! ;D

Flightradar24 did track aircraft SA-NTA of type "SLEIGH" on Xmas ;)
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Mike on January 02, 2012, 06:06:47 PM: YAY!

Happy new Year everybody!

Stand by for plenty of new Chicken Wings action this year!
We're still celebrating 10 years of Chicken Wings, but got sidetracked with the holidays and other work briefly.....
But we'll soon be back with more new strips, shirts, a book and plenty of contests!!

Mike
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Fabo on January 02, 2012, 09:15:28 PM: Quote from: Mike on January 02, 2012, 06:06:47 PM
But we'll soon be back with more new strips, shirts, a book and plenty of contests!!

About time, too ::sulk::

|:)\ |:)\
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: FlyboyGil on December 25, 2012, 12:21:21 AM: Merry Christmas all!! Hope you all have a day full of presents and good food!

Cheers ::drinking::

Gilly |:)\ |:)\
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: Mike on December 26, 2012, 02:47:12 AM: YES! GREAT FOOD!
(no chicken please!)

Merry Christmas fellow aviators and fowl lovers!
Title: Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR
Post by: FlyboyGil on December 24, 2014, 10:22:51 PM: MERRY CHRISTMAS CHICKENS!!!!!!!!!!!!! ::drinking:: ::drinking:: ::drinking:: ::drinking::