Roost Air Lounge => Current Strip => Topic started by: fireflyr on September 02, 2006, 03:00:47 PM
Title: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: fireflyr on September 02, 2006, 03:00:47 PM
This is a great one guys ;D If you've been around aviation for a while you HAVE to have a pee story ::) For instance, had a BLM right seater last year who had 2 hour kidneys (which poses a problem on 4 hour flights) and he would proceed to fill any empty container that was handy---if none were empty, he would drink whatever was available (water-soft drink) to empty a bottle which in turn REALLY shortened his endurance on the next leg and would sometimes cause a repeat performance! :P Of couse, you sling wing drivers have readily available LZs so you don't share that problem--I believe. I told a reporter one time that the most important preflight item I did when dispatched to a fire was to take a leak!
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: spacer on September 02, 2006, 04:24:22 PM
I was a truck driver, and many of my 'brethren' would fill the bottles (no problem with that, we were allowed precious few places to park) and toss 'em out the window (BIG problem with that, especially when I got splattered while riding a motorcycle). You can see 'em on the side of the road from time to time, and guys like that are making everyone else look bad. I gave it up and now I follow 'em around for a living (after a stint of skinning knuckles on airplanes). I guess the interesting story here would be the part about the motorcycle. I think the driver was a little dehydrated, if ya know what I mean.
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: fireflyr on September 03, 2006, 03:57:51 PM
I was a truck driver, and many of my 'brethren' would fill the bottles (no problem with that, we were allowed precious few places to park) and toss 'em out the window (BIG problem with that, especially when I got splattered while riding a motorcycle). You can see 'em on the side of the road from time to time, and guys like that are making everyone else look bad. I gave it up and now I follow 'em around for a living (after a stint of skinning knuckles on airplanes). I guess the interesting story here would be the part about the motorcycle. I think the driver was a little dehydrated, if ya know what I mean.
What do you mean "follow'em around for a living"? Are you in law enforcement |:)\?
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: spacer on September 03, 2006, 04:25:48 PM
I was a truck driver, and many of my 'brethren' would fill the bottles (no problem with that, we were allowed precious few places to park) and toss 'em out the window (BIG problem with that, especially when I got splattered while riding a motorcycle). You can see 'em on the side of the road from time to time, and guys like that are making everyone else look bad. I gave it up and now I follow 'em around for a living (after a stint of skinning knuckles on airplanes). I guess the interesting story here would be the part about the motorcycle. I think the driver was a little dehydrated, if ya know what I mean.
What do you mean "follow'em around for a living"? Are you in law enforcement |:)\?
Private safety firm, and by invitation only. When you remove the 'Johnny Law' types acting as a revenue collector (by hook or by crook) then you can honestly have a go at promoting safety. I mostly look for the guys who tailgate, drive aggressively, etc. Then I record them on video, along with a radar reading in case they're speeding too. When I was offered the job, I was suffering in the hangar, trying to work on airplanes with a nasty case of arthritis eating up my hips. It got to the point where I couldn't get under the panel to replace the vacuum filters on our Cessnas, or any number of other tasks. Finally, I was just doing engine work and getting help for stuff in the cabin before the offer came. I'm getting off topic now...
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: fireflyr on September 04, 2006, 05:34:16 AM
Excellent Velo! |:)\
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: Baradium on September 04, 2006, 07:41:20 AM
Private safety firm, and by invitation only. When you remove the 'Johnny Law' types acting as a revenue collector (by hook or by crook) then you can honestly have a go at promoting safety. I mostly look for the guys who tailgate, drive aggressively, etc. Then I record them on video, along with a radar reading in case they're speeding too. When I was offered the job, I was suffering in the hangar, trying to work on airplanes with a nasty case of arthritis eating up my hips. It got to the point where I couldn't get under the panel to replace the vacuum filters on our Cessnas, or any number of other tasks. Finally, I was just doing engine work and getting help for stuff in the cabin before the offer came. I'm getting off topic now...
So what do you do with the videos etc? Turn them to police? Companies?
Do you go after guys just driving fast or only if they are doing something that looks unsafe?
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: spacer on September 04, 2006, 03:47:44 PM
Private safety firm, and by invitation only. When you remove the 'Johnny Law' types acting as a revenue collector (by hook or by crook) then you can honestly have a go at promoting safety. I mostly look for the guys who tailgate, drive aggressively, etc. Then I record them on video, along with a radar reading in case they're speeding too. When I was offered the job, I was suffering in the hangar, trying to work on airplanes with a nasty case of arthritis eating up my hips. It got to the point where I couldn't get under the panel to replace the vacuum filters on our Cessnas, or any number of other tasks. Finally, I was just doing engine work and getting help for stuff in the cabin before the offer came. I'm getting off topic now...
So what do you do with the videos etc? Turn them to police? Companies?
Do you go after guys just driving fast or only if they are doing something that looks unsafe?
The videos go directly to the safety department of whichever company hired us. Depending on what the safety guys want, I pick their drivers at random or I'll look for a specific driver, then get an overview of the driver's habits. Sometimes I will break off an observation if I see another driver from the same company behaving in an unsafe manner.
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: Baradium on September 04, 2006, 10:09:24 PM
Ah, I was thinking you just started driving and filmed whatever truck picked your fancy, wasn't thinking company specific. ;)
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: tundra_flier on September 06, 2006, 06:16:45 PM
I have determined that 6' pilots can not use a pee bottle in a 150 in turbulence :( And it's called "Windy Pass" for a very good reason. ;) I had to hold out long enough to get back to the airport, where I ended up watering the ramp. At that point I didn't care who might be watching. :P
Phil
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: spacer on September 06, 2006, 11:30:35 PM
I have determined that 6' pilots can not use a pee bottle in a 150 in turbulence :( And it's called "Windy Pass" for a very good reason. ;) I had to hold out long enough to get back to the airport, where I ended up watering the ramp. At that point I didn't care who might be watching. :P
Phil
Hmm... some tubing and a collapsible container... probably end in disaster. Darnit. I'd thought about running it outside, but I think corrosion would be a problem.
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: cj5_pilot on September 07, 2006, 02:37:46 AM
I have determined that 6' pilots can not use a pee bottle in a 150 in turbulence :( And it's called "Windy Pass" for a very good reason. ;) I had to hold out long enough to get back to the airport, where I ended up watering the ramp. At that point I didn't care who might be watching. :P
Phil
I TOLD you not to drink so much coffee :D
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: fireflyr on September 07, 2006, 04:13:49 AM
I have determined that 6' pilots can not use a pee bottle in a 150 in turbulence :( And it's called "Windy Pass" for a very good reason. ;) I had to hold out long enough to get back to the airport, where I ended up watering the ramp. At that point I didn't care who might be watching. :P
Phil
Hmm... some tubing and a collapsible container... probably end in disaster. Darnit. I'd thought about running it outside, but I think corrosion would be a problem.
I solved that problem one time by peeing in my coffee cup, cutting a short piece of O2 tubing and let it suction the cup dry out the vent window on a Navajo. Had some yellow ice on the back window till I got to a lower altitude but that went away quickly---getting the coffee cup clean was my big concern! :D
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: tundra_flier on September 18, 2006, 08:00:24 PM
I have determined that 6' pilots can not use a pee bottle in a 150 in turbulence :( And it's called "Windy Pass" for a very good reason. ;) I had to hold out long enough to get back to the airport, where I ended up watering the ramp. At that point I didn't care who might be watching. :P
Phil
I TOLD you not to drink so much coffee :D
After 2 nights in a hot, bug filled cabin with 2 guys that snore on Redshirt lake, flying without coffee would have been far more dangerous. ;)
Quote
I solved that problem one time by peeing in my coffee cup, cutting a short piece of O2 tubing and let it suction the cup dry out the vent window on a Navajo. Had some yellow ice on the back window till I got to a lower altitude but that went away quickly---getting the coffee cup clean was my big concern!
Problem is the seat bottom angles slightly up in level flight, and no way to scoot up to the front edge, just not enough room. Maybe with a tube out the belly like I hear glider pilots use.
I think the remote airfield like one previous comic is the best option.
Anyone notice none of the ladies are chiming in here? Of course I've notice that women seem to have 3 times the badder endurance of men any time I'm traveling by car, or camping, canoeing, boating etc. Guys will take a leak every couple hours, the ladies will go all day without one! :o
Phil
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: Baradium on September 19, 2006, 06:09:08 AM
Anyone notice none of the ladies are chiming in here? Of course I've notice that women seem to have 3 times the badder endurance of men any time I'm traveling by car, or camping, canoeing, boating etc. Guys will take a leak every couple hours, the ladies will go all day without one! :o
Phil
That seems backwards. ;)
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: happylanding on September 19, 2006, 12:14:47 PM
Anyone notice none of the ladies are chiming in here? Of course I've notice that women seem to have 3 times the badder endurance of men any time I'm traveling by car, or camping, canoeing, boating etc. Guys will take a leak every couple hours, the ladies will go all day without one! :o Phil
Hehehe! that's right! We have a secret here: when there isn't any wc on sight, we do not need to go to the loo! :) (well, it depends....when I went backpacking to india and nepal, any tree did his job!) But actually, I never had to go to the loo while flying by myself. And on my very first lesson I was given the advice to always go to the loo before flying, even if you do not feel the urgency. On the contrary, when I was a toddler I used to cross my legs on planes since I could not have imagined that aircrafts had loos (and I did not understand that other people were going to it)! Luckily enough I understood that loos existed before taking an atlantic flight!!! :) ;)
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: Baradium on September 19, 2006, 05:51:49 PM
What's a WC?
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: tundra_flier on September 19, 2006, 07:25:42 PM
Water Closet - It's a Euro thing.
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: happylanding on September 19, 2006, 07:28:15 PM
Reminds me of the story of the KC-135 and the F-16.
An F-16 pilot was flying formation with a KC-135 (refueling tanker). Anyway, the F-16 pilot was feeling like quite a hot shot and radioed over to the KC-135's commander: "hey, watch this!" So he rolls away into a barrel roll, accelerates ahead, does a loop and rolls back around and comes back next to the tanker.
The KC-135's commander comes over the radio and says "well, that's not too bad... but watch this!" They the KC-135 drones along for 5 minutes or so and he comes back on and says "now how about that!"
The F-16 pilots says "What do you mean, you didn't do anything?!" To which the 135 commander replies "What do you mean? I just went out and stretched my legs, went to the bathroom, and grabbed a cub of coffee."
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: tundra_flier on September 19, 2006, 11:41:38 PM
Heard a similar one with an F-16 and a B-52. The B-52's response was "I just shut down an engine".
Phil
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: Frank N. O. on September 20, 2006, 12:13:59 AM
Yet another version was with a Tomcat instead of the Falcon and the B-52 switched off two engines, and that's my favourite :D
And yes I also heard that women's range was short not long, at least from stand-up comics talking about roadtrips with the missus.
Frank
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: fireflyr on September 20, 2006, 01:55:41 AM
Yet another version was with a Tomcat instead of the Falcon and the B-52 switched off two engines, and that's my favourite :D
And yes I also heard that women's range was short not long, at least from stand-up comics talking about roadtrips with the missus.
Frank
That's some wrong information---my wife can hold off whiz stops for HOURS!!! As for me, well my bladder knows what 5 hours feels like and it won't go any longer! :o
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: Voidhawk9 on September 26, 2006, 11:34:59 AM
Heard a similar one with an F-16 and a B-52. The B-52's response was "I just shut down an engine".
Phil
F-16 has an engine out and calls the tower with his emergency. Tower says, "You're number 2 following a B-52 with an engine out." To which the F-16 driver replies, "Oh, no! The dreaded 7 engine approach!"
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: TheSoccerMom on October 04, 2006, 01:31:09 AM
Oh boy, if I can muster up some courage, I'll share some of "Aviation's Most Embarrassing Moments"... at least that's what my cohorts would use for a label.
I never did learn how to match a short-range bladder with long-range tanks. And where on earth do men find those 6-hour internal organs?? Sheesh.
I'm debating whether to spill all the beans here.... it's not a glamorous saga.... though, one of my longer-lasting nicknames came from this very topic:
There we were, cruising in the DC-3, only about 30 minutes after take-off, when I groaned to my totally cool Captain, "jeez, how far out are we? I gotta pee!" At which he STARED at me, incredulous, and hollered "What on EARTH? What do you HAVE there??! A Gerbil Bladder???"
Which explains why, having that broadcast over the airplane's intercom, I was affectionately known for the next 2 years as "Gee-Bee". Yes, two YEARS.
Ahhh... aviation! To think that people could even LIVE without such glamour.
8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8)
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: fireflyr on October 04, 2006, 02:55:52 AM
What ever do you mean "men and 6 hour organs" ------girl, mine are set to a 5 hour max and I gotta tell ya, my wife (a woman in spite of what you may have heard) is a surgical assistant who has mastered the art of not going pee-pee for at least 12 hours <GROAN> :-[
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: Stef on October 04, 2006, 09:45:53 AM
Hehe, this has really turned into a popular topic here! ;D Must be because it's something everybody thinks about but you don't really discuss it that often with friends, huh? My real problem is: I can go for a few hours without a toilet break, but there's now way to predict how long I can last this particular time. Sometimes 5 or 6 hours is not a problem, but sometimes it takes only one hour. I heard that you can actually increase bladder capacity by training. I guess the Oktoberfest in Munich is would qualify as a traning camp, because the beer gets served in litres and public toilets at such festivals usually suck. :-[
Oh, talking about public toilets, I just stumbled over this one here: ;D http://youtube.com/watch?v=IzO1mCAVyMw
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: spacer on October 04, 2006, 11:19:49 AM
Hehe, this has really turned into a popular topic here! ;D Must be because it's something everybody thinks about but you don't really discuss it that often with friends, huh? My real problem is: I can go for a few hours without a toilet break, but there's now way to predict how long I can last this particular time. Sometimes 5 or 6 hours is not a problem, but sometimes it takes only one hour. I heard that you can actually increase bladder capacity by training. I guess the Oktoberfest in Munich is would qualify as a traning camp, because the beer gets served in litres and public toilets at such festivals usually suck. :-[
Oh, talking about public toilets, I just stumbled over this one here: ;D http://youtube.com/watch?v=IzO1mCAVyMw
So... if you can claim that the 'endurance training' helps you with your job... you can make the whole trip (and all the beer) tax deductible!
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: TheSoccerMom on October 04, 2006, 10:09:08 PM
WOW!! Oktoberfest Training??!?!!
I KNEW if I kept praying all these years, I'd finally find my TRUE CALLING!! :D
Sign me up... I need the training, believe me....
;D ;D
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: tundra_flier on October 04, 2006, 11:30:52 PM
So does that make beer an 'instructional material'? ::)
Phil
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: TheSoccerMom on October 05, 2006, 12:43:08 AM
Yes, it would be "required"... just like manuals, calculators, BIG watches, and COOL sunglasses. 8)
Oooh, ooh, I'm so excited now... something to look forward to!! :D
Back to the thread.... I had heard that too, Stef, that it's possible to train one's, er, receptacle to be more, well, expansive. I haven't had much luck... gallons of water haven't helped... dreaming of the parched Sahara desert hasn't helped... pleading, cajoling and outright begging haven't helped... and, it makes for a sad picture when the passengers catch the pilot talking to her bladder.... uh, trust me on that one. :-[
But, maybe Ground School at Oktoberfest will be the Key to Success!! Excuse me, I have to go start training!! ;D
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: spacer on October 05, 2006, 01:58:47 AM
I used to be a truck driver, and my bladder did a fine job of adapting to the long hours at the wheel. Drives my wife nuts when we go anywhere, because I can sit in comfort until the tank's empty while she needs to stop a bit more often. Now she's preggers and, well, Mater's pushing on her bladder more and more. I guess it doesn't matter so much, since I'm always gone anyway.
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: Stef on October 05, 2006, 09:17:56 AM
I really think we're on to something here! Instructional material, training camps... The possibility for tax deduction are definitely there! Too bad that I don't really need it for my job. But if someone of you guys organizes a training week, I might come anyway! ;D
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: fireflyr on October 05, 2006, 02:36:44 PM
I really think we're on to something here! Instructional material, training camps... The possibility for tax deduction are definitely there! Too bad that I don't really need it for my job. But if someone of you guys organizes a training week, I might come anyway! ;D
What do you mean if WE organize a training week----you're the one who lives closest to where OKTOBERFEST was born!!! |:)\
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: TheSoccerMom on October 05, 2006, 11:38:08 PM
Whatever, wherever, whomever.... My tuition for Training Camp is in the mail!!!!!!!!!!!
I agree with Stef -- think of the possibilities!! ;D
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: Baradium on October 06, 2006, 05:20:58 AM
F-16 has an engine out and calls the tower with his emergency. Tower says, "You're number 2 following a B-52 with an engine out." To which the F-16 driver replies, "Oh, no! The dreaded 7 engine approach!"
Not to nit pick, but the original joke is an overtemp with the F-16... IIRC the emergency procedure with an engine out for an F-16 is "EJECT" as you lose flight controls with the engine. ;)
I've got a picture somewhere of one sticking out of a gulf course after running out of fuel...
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: Mike on October 07, 2006, 05:07:03 PM
Not to "nit pick" but the orginal thread theme here is "peeing" and not F-16's ;) ;) ;D
So true !!! I can only imagine what kind of feeling one would get when losing your only engine one a plane that's not necessarily built to glide....
;D |:)\
A bigger problem is that the F-16 is fly by wire. No mechanical linkage. Unlike transport category fly by wire aircraft, there is no turbine generator to deploy to run a pump and generator. When the engine dies the pump stops... pump stops the flight controls don't respond anymore. That's why you have to eject when the engine fails in an F-16.
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: Mike on October 09, 2006, 04:06:32 PM
...and some poeple have observed a little pee-trail as the pilots shoots out of the cockpit . . .
;D
(to stick with the theme of the thread....)
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: plsander on October 11, 2006, 11:08:44 PM
[Hmm... some tubing and a collapsible container... probably end in disaster. Darnit. I'd thought about running it outside, but I think corrosion would be a problem.
Sounds like a diver's range extender -- "P-Valve" and dry-suit scuba diving.... ;D http://www.dui-online.com/tech_p_valves.htm
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: tundra_flier on October 12, 2006, 12:44:21 AM
[Hmm... some tubing and a collapsible container... probably end in disaster. Darnit. I'd thought about running it outside, but I think corrosion would be a problem.
Sounds like a diver's range extender -- "P-Valve" and dry-suit scuba diving.... ;D http://www.dui-online.com/tech_p_valves.htm
Actually I've heard of competition glider pilots using something very similar. But most of them are in composite planes, so corrosion isn't a concern. I even read one thread a few years back discussing the best place to locate the other end of the tube. One guy had placed his on the gear door, so he could open the gear door when he needed to drain and didn't have to 'wipe' off the 'tail' when he finished. :P
I think I'll just keep a list of remote airports handy myself. My luck I'd forget to detach the thing when I exited the plane :o
Phil
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: cj5_pilot on October 12, 2006, 01:37:53 AM
That diver P-valve sounded similar to what the astronaughts on Gemni used...I think it was called CVUMPS or something (I'd have to dig out my copy of "Carrying the Fire" to remember).
Quote
Repetitive dives may require the diver to change condoms.
Hmm....think I'll leave this one alone.....
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: TheSoccerMom on October 12, 2006, 05:30:12 AM
I know we've been laughing about the "Pee Dilemma" in this thread, and maybe it seems silly... I used to think I was the only person who had suffered from flight-induced pee-panic. Imagine how funny it was when I met a retired U-2 driver last winter, and asked him (well, okay, BEGGED him) to tell us some cool, exciting, dramatic, U-2 spy stories. After some cajoling and several beers, he did share a story -- and it was about trying to manage the pee system they had set up for their incredibly lo-oo-oo-ng flights. Let's just say it involved a lot of unavoidable Laws of Physics that we don't have to worry about at low altitudes, and it was a hilarious tale of trying to avoid disaster, just because of HAVING TO PEE.
So.... we are not the only ones! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
I thought it was really cool of the guy to tell on himself -- he had NO ego, at least not an ego to match his accomplishments. 8)
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: happylanding on October 12, 2006, 09:01:06 PM
I met a retired U-2 driver last winter, and asked him (well, okay, BEGGED him) to tell us some cool, exciting, dramatic, U-2 spy stories.
Oh wow, Soccermom! You met somebody who flew the U2? Don't you have other stories to pass along about his career?!? Are you still in contact with the pilot? the only one I ever heard about was francis gary powers. I was so happy that I could give some un-useful information to my brother when he was preparing an exam about cold war history, telling him about Power's misadventures..... ;D :)
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: TheSoccerMom on November 01, 2006, 12:15:20 AM
Hi HappyLanding!
Sorry it took me so long to see your post.. I get kinda lost and mill around in these posts, checking it all out, just like I act at the airport... ha!!
Yes, this guy flew the U-2 and loved her.. he has a real lack of ego, and we never even would have heard his background, but that another person was there who had worked with him in the past. That guy leaked it, and even so, it took a lot of begging to get him to talk about it.
He recommended a great book, "Skunk Works" by Ben Rich and Leo Janos. It's GREAT.. a real asset for one's aviation library. It explains the development of the U-2 and the Stealth.. just fascinating. The pilot said it was by far the most accurate description of those times that he knew of.
His "pee story" involved him trying to hang onto his now-filled pee bag, and fly the airplane at a gazillion miles per hour, and navigate, and also not drop his dividers (those needle-sharp pointers that you mark map distances with??)... I can't do it justice -- he had us all crying our eyes out in painful laughter -- but long story short, he ended up SO desperate not to drop his pee bag, that he set it down on his armrest, but it ended up on top of the DIVIDERS... the POINTS of the dividers.... a total mess... :o
Forgive me, J., if you're reading this, but it's so good that I can't resist!!!! ;)
Besides, you can always deny the whole story!!!
He's a super guy... like I said, he just can't blow his own horn at ALL. It was a real honor to work with him, just because of that attitude.
Title: Re: Range extender---pee pee stories
Post by: tundra_flier on November 01, 2006, 05:17:54 AM
We had a U-2 pilot speak at our EAA banquet 2 years ago. The main points I remember were:
-They ate a 'low bulk' diet for 24 hours before a long mission to avoid bowel movements. I'm thinking that's a good idea for all of us, I'd love to get a list of foods.
-Part of the job interview was "Can you pee sitting down"?
-At cruise altitude they couldn't reduce power without flaming out, so they had to lower the gear to start desending.
-They had a 4 knot window between stall and Vne (when the tail ripped off!) at cruise. Talk about your intense flying!
Of course the story about a photo of a naked sunbather taken from 80,000ft and 75 miles was also pretty good. ;)
