All righty here's my story. It's a long one, so I hope you feel like doing some reading.
It was during flight training back in college. Back then I wouldn't eat before flying, but my morning flight was pushed back to the afternoon so I was hungry. I went to the cafeteria and ordered chicken fingers and fries. A big meal. So when I went flying in the noon, of course it was spiral dives and spins. I pulled off both with diligence, and that was what did it. Lunch decided that it was going to exit the same way it came in. However I was prepared as I had a trusty plastic bag with me, just in case such an emergency arose. Like the super hero's Superman or Batman I needed a hero at that moment, and the time for the bag to be a hero was nigh!!
I opened it up and it gratefully accepted my lunch contribution. Well I thought that would be the end of it. I succesfully pulled of the spins and spirals, so the instructor headed the plane for home. Here's where the lesson of the story comes in. When selecting a plastic bag to accept contributions of any kind, for the love of God make sure it doesn't have any holes in it!!
I had to quickly readjust the bag so it would stop leaking, but the damage was done. My pants, and some of the airplane seat had some of my lunch contributions. To make matters worse my instructor asked if I was going to have turkey for the upcoming Thanksgiving weekend. All I could say was "Don't talk about food!" The rest of the flight went smoothly. We landed and taxied up to the apron, where a cute 19 year old blonde girl was on dispatch. After the plane was parked and shut down, I quickly tossed my lunch into the grass, but had some of it on my pants. My instructor got out of the plane, and told me to help Blonide push the plane back. SON OF A BITCH!!!! I was able to help but keeping lunch on my leg hidden was a chore. Then Blondie and myself walked back to the hangar, with her yapping away about something. I don't know what it was, I didn't care. I was worried about getting to the hangar and avoiding the crowd that was there in the office. We got there, and I quickly grabbed my backpack and made a break for the bathroom.
After finding comfort with the porcelain bowl, I quickly went to the sink and washed lunch off my pants. Course now I looked like I wet myself. Can't win for losing. I quickly left without any notice, and thought that a walk back to the residence in the cool October air would help. A fellow student ran up, and walked with me for a bit, and tried to insist that I take the bus with him. No thankyou. But before we reached the bus stop, the 19 year old Blondie pulled up in her car, and insisted on giving us both a ride. I lived in Rez, she lived in Rez, but our fellow student did not so it was decided to drop him off home first. Well I'm sorry, but 19 year old woman drivers...! Sheesh!! She made the Dukes of Hazzard look like Driving Miss Daisy!!
I didn't think it possible to make perfect 90 degree corners at 60 km an hour, but hey!! One learns something new everyday. Well we dropped off our non rez student and continued at mach 1.5 back to the rez.
After bouncing the car back into the parking lot, and stopping within inches of peeling the tires off of the rims, I thanked her for the ride from hell and proceeded to my room on the third floor. Fate allowed me a grace by not having any people in the hallways to my room. I entered, once again found comfort in the porcelain bowl. I quickly washed, and crawled under the covers.
A few hours sleep, and I was right as rain. I proceeded to the Cafteria, and ordered a small meal. Uhoh. There was a story going around that someone had gotten sick on the plane, and made a deposit in it. When I asked which plane, they said J-D-N. Phew I was in Y-A-S. I was saved, although I wondered who the other poor soul was.
So that's my heroic story. About Barf, and courage!!
The end
