Range extender---pee pee stories

[fireflyr]

Yeah, just try to strike up a conversation with the guy at the next urinal over some time.  Talk about wird looks 

On the other hand, my dad did a stint in the navy after growing up on a ranch.  I'll frequently hear a flush while talking with him on the phone.   

Phil

Sounds like a man who uses his time efficiently!    I'm sure my sons could share your observations.

[Gulfstream Driver]

Heard a similar one with an F-16 and a B-52.  The B-52's response was "I just shut down an engine".

Phil

F-16 has an engine out and calls the tower with his emergency.  Tower says, "You're number 2 following a B-52 with an engine out."  To which the F-16 driver replies, "Oh, no!  The dreaded 7 engine approach!"

[TheSoccerMom]

Oh boy, if I can muster up some courage, I'll share some of "Aviation's Most Embarrassing Moments"... at least that's what my cohorts would use for a label. 

I never did learn how to match a short-range bladder with long-range tanks.  And where on earth do men find those 6-hour internal organs??  Sheesh.

I'm debating whether to spill all the beans here....  it's not a glamorous saga....  though, one of my longer-lasting nicknames came from this very topic:

There we were, cruising in the DC-3, only about 30 minutes after take-off, when I groaned to my totally cool Captain, "jeez, how far out are we?  I gotta pee!"  At which he STARED at me, incredulous, and hollered "What on EARTH?  What do you HAVE there??!  A Gerbil Bladder???"

Which explains why, having that broadcast over the airplane's intercom, I was affectionately known for the next 2 years as "Gee-Bee".  Yes, two YEARS. 

Ahhh... aviation!  To think that people could even LIVE without such glamour.

 

[fireflyr]

What ever do you mean "men and 6 hour organs" ------girl, mine are set to a 5 hour max and I gotta tell ya, my wife (a woman in spite of what you may have heard) is a surgical assistant who has mastered the art of not going pee-pee for at least 12 hours <GROAN>

[Stef]

Hehe, this has really turned into a popular topic here!  Must be because it's something everybody thinks about but you don't really discuss it that often with friends, huh? My real problem is: I can go for a few hours without a toilet break, but there's now way to predict how long I can last this particular time. Sometimes 5 or 6 hours is not a problem, but sometimes it takes only one hour. I heard that you can actually increase bladder capacity by training. I guess the Oktoberfest in Munich is would qualify as a traning camp, because the beer gets served in litres and public toilets at such festivals usually suck.   

Oh, talking about public toilets, I just stumbled over this one here: 
http://youtube.com/watch?v=IzO1mCAVyMw

[spacer]

Hehe, this has really turned into a popular topic here!  Must be because it's something everybody thinks about but you don't really discuss it that often with friends, huh? My real problem is: I can go for a few hours without a toilet break, but there's now way to predict how long I can last this particular time. Sometimes 5 or 6 hours is not a problem, but sometimes it takes only one hour. I heard that you can actually increase bladder capacity by training. I guess the Oktoberfest in Munich is would qualify as a traning camp, because the beer gets served in litres and public toilets at such festivals usually suck.   

Oh, talking about public toilets, I just stumbled over this one here: 
http://youtube.com/watch?v=IzO1mCAVyMw

So... if you can claim that the 'endurance training' helps you with your job... you can make the whole trip (and all the beer) tax deductible!

[TheSoccerMom]

WOW!!  Oktoberfest Training??!?!!

I KNEW if I kept praying all these years, I'd finally find my TRUE CALLING!!   

Sign me up... I need the training, believe me....

    

[tundra_flier]

So does that make beer an 'instructional material'?   

Phil

[TheSoccerMom]

Yes, it would be "required"...  just like manuals, calculators, BIG watches, and COOL sunglasses.   

Oooh, ooh, I'm so excited now... something to look forward to!!   

Back to the thread....  I had heard that too, Stef, that it's possible to train one's, er, receptacle to be more, well, expansive.  I haven't had much luck...  gallons of water haven't helped...  dreaming of the parched Sahara desert hasn't helped...  pleading, cajoling and outright begging haven't helped...  and, it makes for a sad picture when the passengers catch the pilot talking to her bladder.... uh, trust me on that one.   

But, maybe Ground School at Oktoberfest will be the Key to Success!!  Excuse me, I have to go start training!!   

[spacer]

I used to be a truck driver, and my bladder did a fine job of adapting to the long hours at the wheel. Drives my wife nuts
when we go anywhere, because I can sit in comfort until the tank's empty while she needs to stop a bit more often.
Now she's preggers and, well, Mater's pushing on her bladder more and more.
I guess it doesn't matter so much, since I'm always gone anyway.

[Stef]

I really think we're on to something here! Instructional material, training camps... The possibility for tax deduction are definitely there! Too bad that I don't really need it for my job. But if someone of you guys organizes a training week, I might come anyway! 

[fireflyr]

I really think we're on to something here! Instructional material, training camps... The possibility for tax deduction are definitely there! Too bad that I don't really need it for my job. But if someone of you guys organizes a training week, I might come anyway! 

What do you mean if WE organize a training week----you're the one who lives closest to where OKTOBERFEST was born!!!

[TheSoccerMom]

Whatever, wherever, whomever....  My tuition for Training Camp is in the mail!!!!!!!!!!!

I agree with Stef -- think of the possibilities!!   

[Baradium]

F-16 has an engine out and calls the tower with his emergency.  Tower says, "You're number 2 following a B-52 with an engine out."  To which the F-16 driver replies, "Oh, no!  The dreaded 7 engine approach!"

Not to nit pick, but the original joke is an overtemp with the F-16... IIRC the emergency procedure with an engine out for an F-16 is "EJECT" as you lose flight controls with the engine. 

I've got a picture somewhere of one sticking out of a gulf course after running out of fuel...

[Mike]

Not to "nit pick" but the orginal thread theme here is "peeing" and not F-16's     

HA HA !! just razn' ya, Baradium !!

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How about a "CHUCKS CHICKEN AND BEER - BLADDER TRAINING CAMP"

I am thinking one week, BBQ chicken, hot wings, and fried chicken and
lots of TRAINING BEVERAGES! ... and no bathrooms!

It will be bigger than Oshkosh once it catches on.... imagine the possibilities!!!

And imagine the "no-s#!t-here-I-was" stories getting told at that camp !!!