Drug Test

[Rooster Cruiser]

You guys have a good one here for those of us in this business!      Between flying and truck driving, I have had to pee in a bottle for one job or another for over 20 years. 

I used to resent it, and called it my "contribution to Science."  Nowadays I make a bit more fun of the practice. In the last six months, I have had to pee in a bottle no less than three times... each for a pre-employment drug screen.  So each time someone tells me I gotta do this I say to them, "OK, please tell me where to go to find someone that wants to play with my pee!"      I don't care if anyone gets offended.  I'm the one that has to prove I am not a druggie by peeing in a bottle, and these characters are making a living out of it!

Can I say "piss on them" in this forum?  Or should I edit this line out?  Maybe I still resent it even after all these years.   

RC

[tundra_flier]

My last job, only 2 weeks after i took the pre-employment drug test (hair and piss) I got picked for a random piss test. 

I've never used a bottle in a plane.  There just wasn't room in a 150.  I know, I tried to use one of those pouches with the diaper powder in them once.  Gave up when I hit the mountain rotors. 

However, I used to keep a spare soda bottle handy when i was living in a dry cabin in collage.  when the call of nature hits at 2am and it's -40F out, That 100 ft to the outhouse was way too far.   

[YawningMan]

In the military, you're incessantly suffering random piss tests. One time, I got called into one immediately after having hit the head. They basically have you in their care until you submit your work for the test. After having kidney surgery, I was confident in my ability to pony up, so I told the sergeant overseeing us that I should be okay, in spite of having already delivered so recently.

I drank a quick bottle of water and went to the head with the sergeant and a group of about 5 other Marines. We had to turn so he could see our junk while taking the test. I called on my ability to pee at a moment's notice and supplied enough to satisfy the requirements of the test. I victoriously proclaimed, "See? I got skills!" The sergeant laughed. While escorting us out of the head, he walked beside me and gave me this order.

"Listen up. NEVER make me laugh while looking at a guy's junk again, understood?"

In hindsight, it was a most appropriate response. 

[Stef]

Nowadays I make a bit more fun of the practice.

Haha, for some reason, when I read this sentence, I thought how you would do some "target practice" at increasing distances!   

[Rooster Cruiser]

Nowadays I make a bit more fun of the practice.

Haha, for some reason, when I read this sentence, I thought how you would do some "target practice" at increasing distances!   

HAHAHA!!!  WITH INCREASING BACK PRESSURE!  LMAO!!!   

RC

[Lt.Fubar]

Hmm, if they tried to do such test at my current work place, the results would look something like this:



 

[Kilrah]

Makes me think of this one...
http://jobs.aol.com/articles/2011/07/18/government-orders-pilot-to-give-himself-surprise-drug-tests/

[Mike]

Makes me think of this one...
http://jobs.aol.com/articles/2011/07/18/government-orders-pilot-to-give-himself-surprise-drug-tests/

 

HA HA! 

Typical FAA. Now both of those inspectors can go back to the office and be proud that htey have done their job of making aviation safer without opening a can of worms. The weekend is saved! 

I have one of the best DO's I have ever worked with and he gets audited by the FAA all the time. That way they justify their job but don't have to deal with anything that would end up in real work. The operator I worked with before was a nightmare when it came to maintenance, duty times, pushing limits, overflying AD's, cutting corners, and so on,.... and everybody knew it. The FAA never looked into it!!
His own employees ended up turning him in and MAKING the FAA shut him down.
Very sad!


BTW: I got a similar note from the Nevada State telling me I have to hang up those "Don't do drugs" and "Don't throw your baby in the trash" posters in my bathroom for my employees. HA HA!
I am the only employee of Chicken Wings and I am sure I can remember not to throw anybody's baby in the trash without seeing it on a poster in my own bathroom.....

There are too many lawyers in this country...

[Kilrah]

"Don't throw your baby in the trash"

Oh damn, I was about to... oh no, it's fine, they don't mention anything about neighbours'.. 

The drug test case I linked had a special taste for us at my job, because we had been spending a hellish week trying to sort something out with the FAA a month earlier... the kind where at some point you start wondering if it's not YOU being out of this world and asking something ridiculous (OK, it was a bit too... ), but seeing that does comfort you in the "at least it's not just us" kind of way...

There are too many lawyers in this country...

Definitely. When you see billboards saying "Got injured? Call a lawyer!" along the roads, there's clearly something wrong.