Humor....I need Humor!

[Plthijnx]

haven't found that one....what's the URL?

[Frank N. O.]

Actually The Joke Man is Jackie Martling's nick-name, he's one of the comics on one the radiostations I listen to, together with Rodney Dangerfield, Bill Cosby, Eddie Murphy, Billy Connolly, Ricky Gervais, Jasper Carrott (no relation to Carrott Top), Ernie G, Emo Philips, John Valby, Ellen DeGeneres, Billy Crystal, Robin Williams etc. etc. etc.

I listen to it via WinAmp, shoutast, Khaha.com it's called, under the catagory: Comedy. A lot of repetition but it mostly helps me keep from thinking of the many bad things in my life I'm trying to get sorted which helps my concentration. Another station I have bookmarked is Radio Nigel, 80's hits!

A great line I hope to be able to use for myself (meaning I hope to be self-employed) is:
"I work for myself now which is nice except when I call in sick I know I'm lying!"
ROFL I think that was Rita Rudner that did that one (also heard on the radio).

And another one:
The maintenance point of view: 
Yes sir, I found the problem, but can't fix it.
Why not?
It was a short circuit between the headset.

Frank

[Ted_Stryker]

"I went to look up my family tree.... two dogs were using it!!" - Rodney Dangerfield

[Ted_Stryker]

"I tell ya, I don't get no respect!  The last time anyone opened the car door for ME we were on the highway at the time!" - Rodney Dangerfield   

[Ted_Stryker]

Two more from good 'ol Rodney Dangerfield....

I tell ya, blind dates never work out. I had a blind date. The girl, she showed up, she was pregnant. What do ya say to a girl that`s pregnant? What have you been doing lately? And she told me she had a fight with her boyfriend. I said, "Look, you tell your boyfriend next time you fight, he should knock you down." 
 
-----
I tell ya, my wife, she likes to talk during sex. The other night she called me from a motel.


 

[Mike]

 
Good ol' Rodney! True classics!
He will be missed!!

[fireflyr]

HAHA Thanks Ted'
I've always thought Rodney was under appreciated
Best movie I can remember him in is the one where he goes to college with his son---does the impossible "triple lindy" dive to win the swim meet-----HAHAAAAA
He was such a ham!!

[Frank N. O.]

Yeah Rodney was cool (and actually still is from his recorded performances), at least he lived a long life and actually got respect.

And here's a joke for the sling-wing pilotes.
---
Over Beacon
I heard this from my brother, who is a Search and Rescue pilot at Canadian Forces Base Bagotville, Quebec. It's an apocryphal story that allegedly happened late one night during bad weather, as heard over the tower radio:
Helicopter Pilot: "Roger, I'm holding at 3000 over (such-and-such) beacon".
Second voice: "NO! You can't be doing that! I'm holding at 3000 over that beacon!"
(brief pause)
Helicopter Pilot: "You idiot, you're my co-pilot."
---
There is a real Chuck out there, be very afraid LOL

Frank

[Ted_Stryker]

HAHA Thanks Ted'
I've always thought Rodney was under appreciated
Best movie I can remember him in is the one where he goes to college with his son---does the impossible "triple lindy" dive to win the swim meet-----HAHAAAAA
He was such a ham!!

Glad to see everyone is as enamoured of Rodney as I am   He is missed indeed!  I remember seeing him in person when I was living on the east coast and he would do shows in "the Borscht Belt" (aka Catskill Mountain area) at the resorts up there.

Fireflyr, I remember that movie too.  It's one of my favorites.  The line that I think personafied Rodney in that one was when he asked the teacher out on a date and he told her to "Give me a call when you have no class!"    

Also loved his character in Caddy Shack

[fireflyr]

AWWWW Gawd TED!
"Give me a call when you have no class"   AAHAAAAAHAAAAHAAAA!!!!

I'd forgotten that!!

RODNEY FOREVER!!!!!!!!

[Mike]

AWWWW Gawd TED!
"Give me a call when you have no class"   AAHAAAAAHAAAAHAAAA!!!!

I just saw that movie the other day!!
I really enjoyed it (again, . . .  it hasn't been the first time and won't be the last)
One of my favorite secenes is when he is in class correcting the teacher on how it really works when you build a factory!! 

[Ted_Stryker]

AWWWW Gawd TED!
"Give me a call when you have no class"   AAHAAAAAHAAAAHAAAA!!!!

I just saw that movie the other day!!
I really enjoyed it (again, . . .  it hasn't been the first time and won't be the last)
One of my favorite secenes is when he is in class correcting the teacher on how it really works when you build a factory!! 

  I think it STILL works that way too!

[Plthijnx]

yeah, ol' Rodney was classic! "awww this is the worst looking hat i ever saw! i bet you buy a hat like that you get a free bowl of soup! *pause looking over to Ted Knight* "oh! looks good on you though!" hehe. yep. ol' Rodney!

A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down.
He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer.

The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings."

The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer.

The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't
serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings."

The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a
beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar."

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to
belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings."

The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats
the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer.

The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to
belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs."

The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs."
The bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate "

[Callisto]

The bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate "

Awwww... 


 

[Callisto]

Blow out the flame before drinking... moron