Fire types "ris·qué" humor

[Rooster Cruiser]

A truck driver was complaining to his wife, "You never tell me when you have an orgasm."

She replied, "How can I?  You're never there."

 

[Rooster Cruiser]

Daddy Slept Naked

"Late again!!"  The third-grade teacher sternly said to little Sammy.

"It ain't my fault this time, Miss Crabtree. You can blame this 'un on my Daddy. The reason I'm three hours late is my Daddy sleeps naked!"

Now, Miss Crabtree had taught grammar school for thirty-some- odd years.  Despite her mounting fears, she asked little Sammy what he meant by that.

Full of grins and mischief, and in the flower of his youth, little Sammy and trouble were old friends, but he always told her the truth.

"You see, Miss Crabtree, out at the ranch we got this here low down coyote.  The last few nights, he done ate six hens and killed Ma's best milk goat.  Last night, when Daddy heard a noise out in the chicken pen, he grabbed his shot gun and said to my Ma, "That coyote's back again, I'm a gonna git him!''

"Stay back," Daddy whispered to all us kids!

"My Daddy was naked as a jaybird --no boots, no pants, no shirt! To the hen house he crawled, just like an Injun on the snoop.. Then, he stuck that double barreled 12 gauge shot gun through the window of the coop."

"As he stared into the darkness, with coyotes on his mind, our old hound dog, Rip, had done gone and woke up and comes sneaking up behind Daddy. Then, as we all looked on, plumb helpless, old Rip done went and stuck his cold nose in my Daddy's crack!   Miss Crabtree, we all been cleanin' chickens since three o'clock this mornin!'

[Rooster Cruiser]

Subject: The Cowboy

A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. 'Have you ever done
anything of particular merit?' St. Peter asked.

'Well, I can think of one thing,' the cowboy offered.

'On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of
bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her
alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most
tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out
his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, 'Now, back off or I'll
kick the s*** out of all of you!'

St. Peter was impressed, 'When did this happen?'

'Couple of minutes ago.'

 

[Firegirl]

My Own  Funeral

A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very
elaborate
funeral by the hospital he worked for most of his life...
A huge
heart... covered in flowers stood behind the casket during
the
service as all
the doctors from the hospital sat in awe.
Following the eulogy, the heart
opened, and the casket was rolled
inside.The heart then closed, sealing the
doctor in the beautiful
heart forever.

At that point, one of the
mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes
stared at him, he said, 'I am so
sorry, I was just thinking of my own
funeral... I'm a gynecologist.' 

The proctologist fainted. 

[G-man]

A blonde, goes to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of live frogs.

The sign says: "Sex Frogs! Only $20 each! Comes with complete Instructions."

The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her. She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, "I'll take one."

As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, "Just follow the instructions!"

The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.

As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions and reads them very carefully. She does exactly what is specified:

1. Take a shower.

2. Splash on some nice perfume.

3. Slip into a very sexy nightie.

4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you and allow the frog to do what he has been trained to do.

She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and to her surprise nothing happens! The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, "If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store."

So, she calls the pet store. The man says, "I'll be right over."

Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The blonde welcomes him in and says, "See, I've done everything according to the instructions. The damn frog just sits there."

The man, looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares directly into its eyes and sternly says, "Listen to me! I'm only going to show you how to do this one more time!"

[Ragwing]

Strange sights in Seattle Washington

At the north side of Seattle, there is a district called Fremont.
It is the home of people who are more in tune with hippies.

Each year, they celebrate the summer solstice.
Last weekend was no different.

This is a few pictures of the celebration of Summer Soltice:

Except for the first picture, this link is safe.
http://metakrome.com/sol10/solpar10/


For the more hearty at heart, we deviate for a little more "risqué" exposure.
http://metakrome.com/sol10/solbike10/


Mike, Stef, 
Maybe Chuck might enjoy a little relaxation from his hard work.

If I was 16 again, boy would I do things different.
I spent WAY too much time in the books.