Roost Air Lounge => General Discussion => Topic started by: Frank N. O. on January 31, 2007, 10:09:51 AM
Title: I want to leave, someone on the island smashed our carwindow last night
Post by: Frank N. O. on January 31, 2007, 10:09:51 AM
This island has less than 1000 people on it, the rear sidewindow behind the driver's door was smashed in but nothing was taken nor was the door unlocked. It can only be vengange. I want to leave this place. We were nearly run off the road by vans and truck last two days of driving. They won't allow you to drive on the speedlimit, but there isn't any other road to drive on in peace and several roads we have to use are twisty and just one lane in each direction so few chances of overtaking, especially not when the tailgater was driving a 40+ ton roadtrain, with less than 4 meters distance. There are no alternatives here, none. I want to get away from here, I so badly want to get away from here. Denmark is so hostile anymore. I want to live in peace not like this. I'm so worn down I get backpain just by walking 100 meters, all due to lack of excercise. Please can't someone help me find out if I have a chance of finding another life?
Frank
Title: Re: I want to leave, someone on the island smashed our carwindow last night
Post by: Mike on January 31, 2007, 08:07:04 PM
Why don't you start changing the things you CAN change for now. Eat healthy and exercise and you'll feel a lot better right away. "Run off" some of the frustration. If tailgaters and windy roads a re a concern you'll be out of luck anywhere you go in the world. Even Nevada, although it has very few bendy roads, has tailgaters. Also, if you leave Denmark, you need to have a job to live as well. Start making arrangements and look into things that interest you. What I am saying is, starting a new life starts with you first. You can't expect somebody to fly in and make it all better for you. Doesn't happen in the real world. I know it's easier said than done... We all have bad days, or even years. It's gonna pick up some time. trust me!
Title: Re: I want to leave, someone on the island smashed our carwindow last night
Post by: TheSoccerMom on January 31, 2007, 11:03:31 PM
Hi Frank,
Sorry that you had something so unpleasant happen, but unfortunately, there are always a few "bad eggs" no matter where we go in this life. It can be discouraging, and sometimes, worse than discouraging. But, Mike has some good points... we cannot control other people's behavior, no matter how much we would like to! But -- we CAN control our own.
I had a long (to me it felt ENDLESS) run of bad luck and bad events happen to me, a few years ago. It got where I truly thought nothing would ever go well again. But, my mom used to say "Tomorrow is another day" and she never had an easy go of things, so I made myself a deal: that I would try to make ONE day at a time better. That's all. I couldn't handle thinking about the "long-term" things -- it was very daunting, and HUGE, really. It would have been self-defeating. So, I did what Mike suggested -- I took on the things I COULD change, one by one.
And -- it worked. Time does go by, and if we try to take what each day offers us, and do the best we can to see the good in it, then each day builds on the one before it.
Even on hard days, we have good things to be thankful for, and I hope you won't let some unhappy/unpleasant person's poor actions rule YOUR day.
It does get better, it really does -- I can say that from experience (though I wish I couldn't). :D
Title: Re: I want to leave, someone on the island smashed our carwindow last night
Post by: undatc on January 31, 2007, 11:35:28 PM
I am sorry to hear this Frank. What Soccer and Mike have said is true though. I'm there with you in making life changes, need to lose a significant amount of weight to pass ATC medical standards when I graduate. As far as exercise goes, if you need help, let me know. I took weight lifting, and exercise classes in high school, at the time was looking into going into personal training. Anywho, I can help you set up a workout routine, I hate calling it that cause is sounds ominous, that will help you get some mobility back, and start building yourself back up. Im doing it now, and in three weeks of training I have almost doubled some of my lifts, almost trippled my running time and physically feel a lot better.
Title: Re: I want to leave, someone on the island smashed our carwindow last night
Post by: chuckar101 on February 01, 2007, 01:20:23 AM
Sorry to hear your having some problems Frank. The advice from Mike and Soccer mom is very good advice, and it sounds like you'll always have some support from the people here at the forum. Good luck Frank and hope everything turns out ok.
Title: Re: I want to leave, someone on the island smashed our carwindow last night
Post by: tundra_flier on February 01, 2007, 03:13:01 AM
Frank, all I can say is I've been there. Know exactly how you're feeling, and well, what everyone else has said is true. Even though I know it's not very comforting to you right now. Hang in there. That's why Wile` Coyote is my personal hero and mascot. No matter how many times he falls down, or his plans blow up in his face, he just gets up, dusts himself off and keeps trying.
So dust yourself off, have your favorite beverage with some high carb snacks, watch your favorite comedy, get a good nites rest, and try again tomorow...one day at a time.
Phil
Title: Re: I want to leave, someone on the island smashed our carwindow last night
Post by: switchtech on February 01, 2007, 05:08:18 AM
::complaining: I spent a month ready to shoot who ever busted out the window of my old car. ::rambo:: Fortunately for them, and for me, I never found out who did it. Of course I didn't have a firearm with which to shoot anyone anyway.
Title: Re: I want to leave, someone on the island smashed our carwindow last night
Post by: fireflyr on February 02, 2007, 12:41:55 AM
Frank, The things that you talk about are trivial unpleasantries anywhere else in this world, your ability to cope with these situations is how your life is measured. There is no utopia to which you can escape so you're going have to accept such things as they truly are---just minor inconveniences. If such little things were truly as devastating as you propose, I would have died 40 years ago. Jim
Title: Re: I want to leave, someone on the island smashed our carwindow last night
Post by: Frank N. O. on February 02, 2007, 04:26:46 AM
Ok I've gotten sort-of other the shock and gotten some more info. The lady who lives in the house we park in front of heard a loud noise between 2 and 3 AM and turned on the lights on looked out the wall window that's just a meter away from the car, and her car is parked in front of that window but she saw nothing. The cardoor was still looking at noon when we found out by her telling us so after talking to the police, who won't come, and the insurance then it seems clear it was attempted car-theft and they were scared away so all that was done was the smashed tilt-sidewindow and the soaked backseat and glasshards. Yesterday (thursday) we got a new window mounted at Peugeot and the glasshards cleaned up paid by the insurance and since it's a tilt-window it only 30 minutes and the car is now sealed again and the Mitsubishi dealer said the car still had the same value when the window was replaced so the deal is still valid and thanked us for being honest and we swapped the black Lancer for the wine red one which was the only other new 1.6 sedan he had, which btw was the one we testdrove since he got it in from new when we were there and just took off the plastic covers so it was factory new and not a democar. After the clean-up we drove to the shopping mall near my old hometown south of Copenhagen and that road is so much less stressfull to drive. The traffic level is much smaller, and the drivers there are much much less agressive. That's what I mean. Finding a place where I can live where the place isn't as hard to live in (drive, shop, work etc.) than other places. Due to shopping needs, the problems of getting a home in DK without being a member of a home-organisation etc. make it hard to do something here that can be ended within a few months if I get a chance to move stateside which is what I still need/want to investigate.
Having lived here for two years with not much else to do I've had a lot of time and peace to do some soul-researching and study and I've found out a lot about how I work and how I can handle various situations, one of the key things is peace and quiet to relax and unwind, and that's why an apartment building is not an option, too many sounds that sounds like someone in my house (my brother lives in such a place and when we visited him when we still lived in Odense where he still lives then it was horribly clear how noisy it was, and how easy it was to think the neighbourgs door was in fact your own being openend).
Someone in another post, can't remember the nick atm, has Wile E. Coyote as a avatar because he never gives up, like himself, and that goes for me too. I just hope it comes to something good. I know there's nothing that's perfect as such, but I know from experience here and there that there are things and places that are better than others and the better ones are good enough for me to be happy with my life which to me is what I call human perfection, meaning it's a nice life, I enjoy it and the things that needs to be done are no more than I can handle without being ruined over it. Over the last couple of years however there have been many many different scares in the life of me and my mom, and since I react on real life then I can get a less than happy feeling about it, I still know there are nice people though, the neighbourghs here, who are mostly old ladies, have been fantastic in helping and they are nice and friendly and understand me and my mom and our situation and that helps. I bought a new computergame today and the storeclerk was nice and friendly and so I was that too back and it was nice, not that many people and we had good time to drive calmly and unstressed to make it to the ferry before it sailed. My mom has headaches though because of the stress and the shock.
So bottom line: I know there are bad things all over and nothing is technically perfect anywhere, but I also know that there are places in the world that suit me better than other places and those places would make me satisfied/happy to live and relaxed and ready to see how life evolves and that's what I'm going for.
And in case I never mentioned it, this kind of thing has never happend ever to my family, even before I was born, not a break-in, not an accident, no nothing.
Thank you for your kind words |:)\ Frank
Title: Re: I want to leave, someone on the island smashed our carwindow last night
Post by: FlyboyGil on February 15, 2007, 03:54:33 PM
Frank if you're looking to leave Denmark, come to Canada. Right now all the baby-boomers are retiring so there's alot of jobs opening up, particularliy out in Western Canada. THere's such a labour shortage out there that people who work at jobs like Wal-Mart or a convience store are making almost $20 bucks an hour! It will be stressfull driving in the big cities, but smaller cities usually are pretty good to live and work.
Cheers Adam
Title: Re: I want to leave, someone on the island smashed our carwindow last night
Post by: happylanding on February 15, 2007, 05:35:30 PM
Frank if you're looking to leave Denmark, come to Canada. Right now all the baby-boomers are retiring so there's alot of jobs opening up, particularliy out in Western Canada. THere's such a labour shortage out there that people who work at jobs like Wal-Mart or a convience store are making almost $20 bucks an hour! It will be stressfull driving in the big cities, but smaller cities usually are pretty good to live and work.
Cheers Adam
that sounds really interesting. is the work market open to swiss people???? also in specialized fields?
Title: Re: I want to leave, someone on the island smashed our carwindow last night
Post by: FlyboyGil on February 15, 2007, 06:07:21 PM
Quote
that sounds really interesting. is the work market open to swiss people???? also in specialized fields?
Quote
The Market should be open. There will most likely be some integration courses that you may have to go through (get familiar with the language, get licenses for the speacialized fields), but you shouldn't have too many problems. Doctors are really needed over here.
Title: Re: I want to leave, someone on the island smashed our carwindow last night
Post by: happylanding on February 15, 2007, 06:14:28 PM
The Market should be open. There will most likely be some integration courses that you may have to go through (get familiar with the language, get licenses for the speacialized fields), but you shouldn't have too many problems. Doctors are really needed over here.
Flyboy, I keep asking...Language is English and French right? And by doctor you mean medical doctor or PhDs folk?
Title: Re: I want to leave, someone on the island smashed our carwindow last night
Post by: FlyboyGil on February 15, 2007, 09:47:14 PM
The Market should be open. There will most likely be some integration courses that you may have to go through (get familiar with the language, get licenses for the speacialized fields etc), but you shouldn't have too many problems. Doctors are really needed over here.
Flyboy, I keep asking...Language is English and French right? And by doctor you mean medical doctor or PhDs folk?
Yup, Canada's official languages are english and french. The Majority of Canada speaks english, and the province of Quebec speaks french. Yes I mean PHD folks. Along with all the other baby boomers of other jobs, the Dr. are retiring, or going south for better pay.
So what do you do Happy? Are you a career pilot? or a different career.
Title: Re: I want to leave, someone on the island smashed our carwindow last night
Post by: Frank N. O. on February 16, 2007, 05:11:52 PM
Thanks for the hint but sadly I don't think I'm qualified. I do know that there's no utopia but it's been my experience that the measure of how stressful a place is to drive thrue is not dependant on the size of the town but how the roads/locations are laid out and I know this since Odense is a major city with over 100K people while Holbęk here is tiny but so much more stressfull due to roads and narrow roads you have to drive thrue but where there's bad visibility and careless people. I'd also like to note again I was in shock when I wrote this and my mind has stabilized and gotten over it by itself long ago. I still want to leave this place though, but it doesn't look like there's any way I can.
Frank
Title: Re: I want to leave, someone on the island smashed our carwindow last night
Post by: FlyboyGil on February 16, 2007, 05:59:13 PM
Thanks for the hint but sadly I don't think I'm qualified. I do know that there's no utopia but it's been my experience that the measure of how stressful a place is to drive thrue is not dependant on the size of the town but how the roads/locations are laid out and I know this since Odense is a major city with over 100K people while Holbęk here is tiny but so much more stressfull due to roads and narrow roads you have to drive thrue but where there's bad visibility and careless people. I'd also like to note again I was in shock when I wrote this and my mind has stabilized and gotten over it by itself long ago. I still want to leave this place though, but it doesn't look like there's any way I can.
Frank
Canada has good roads. Theyre not so narrow. Although when you hit mountainous areas you have to be on the alert side, our roads are still pretty good. And the only real traffic problems are in the big cities in Canada.There arent that many big cities, and so there isnt too many places to get stuck. There are bad drivers though, and the always seem to drive right in front of me, leaving me yelling at them. But its usually cause theyre going to slow.
cheers Adam
Title: Re: I want to leave, someone on the island smashed our carwindow last night
Post by: Frank N. O. on February 16, 2007, 09:20:18 PM
Just wondering (no hidden meaning/comment intended!), what's your definition of too slow? Clearly under the speedlimit (to give room for a big error-reading on the speedometer) on a main road where it's not possible to overtake safely/legally (usually these things are connected at least where I drive in my humble opinion since cars have different performance) or something else? I'd like to know to try and learn other people's way of thinking. I personally have no seen error-readings on my speedometer from 1-9 kph at 50 kph indicated speed shown on non-recording light-boards at the entrance to city-limits on small roads which require low speed limits due to limited visibility.
Frank
Title: Re: I want to leave, someone on the island smashed our carwindow last night
Post by: FlyboyGil on February 16, 2007, 10:54:16 PM
Just wondering (no hidden meaning/comment intended!), what's your definition of too slow? Clearly under the speedlimit (to give room for a big error-reading on the speedometer) on a main road where it's not possible to overtake safely/legally (usually these things are connected at least where I drive in my humble opinion since cars have different performance) or something else? I'd like to know to try and learn other people's way of thinking. I personally have no seen error-readings on my speedometer from 1-9 kph at 50 kph indicated speed shown on non-recording light-boards at the entrance to city-limits on small roads which require low speed limits due to limited visibility.
Frank
Usually they drive below the speed limit 50 km in the city, and you can't pass because of oncoming traffic. Or they slow down, and speed up. And when driving conditions are not the best some people keep driving as if they are the best. For the most part though, its not too bad.
Title: Re: I want to leave, someone on the island smashed our carwindow last night
Post by: TheSoccerMom on February 16, 2007, 11:01:33 PM
At least Canadians know how to drive in bad weather! Unlike the 98% of people who have apparently moved here from somewhere warmer.... traffic is at a halt here when we get a QUARTER-INCH OF SNOW!!! It is REALLY fun to watch. ::rofl::
Title: Re: I want to leave, someone on the island smashed our carwindow last night
Post by: tundra_flier on February 17, 2007, 12:07:14 AM
Quote
I still want to leave this place though, but it doesn't look like there's any way I can.
Frank
What's stopping you? ???
Phil
Title: Re: I want to leave, someone on the island smashed our carwindow last night
Post by: Frank N. O. on February 18, 2007, 12:50:42 PM
I still want to leave this place though, but it doesn't look like there's any way I can.
Frank
What's stopping you? ???
Phil
Well just for Denmark then it's not easy getting a rental home since there are these clubs (don't know the correct english word for them) and they assign homes after seniority except the homes that these clubs by law have to let be used by the local county for people in need of places to stay, and there is usually a waiting perdiod of years or decades even for an apartment but the ones in DK are very noisy. The one my brother lives in which is typical for normal apartments here has the walls shaking when the person next door closes the front door and it often sounds like his own door, and everything else in the apartments can be heard thrue the walls/floor/ceiling and neither me or our mom could handle that. The waiting-list for a row-house like I've lived in for the last 10+ years is decades long and the county can't help either me or my mom get such a place, only an apartment downtown and that's too noisy (not a lot of sound-proofing in cheap danish homes it seems). If you're speaking of moving abroad then that's ruined by the fact that I can't get a visa, my education was ruined by my dad's death, he was the one holding the family together since my mom had been on disability retirement from before I was born and can neither work or drive, although she did give me my schooling from 3rd grade and it was good enough for me to get my student-exam, but the loss made my engineering-degree become lost forever. Buying a home here is extremely expensive and I don't even think I can get such a loan, I don't even have my own car and the only loan I've taken were student-loans for the engineering-school but I got that written off after the first couple of payments since I got retirement. Heck it's only the last year's time I've actually had confidence, and knowledge of my own abilities and the world ot know I could perhaps do something with my life but it'll require special circumstances.
This might leave more questions than answers but my situation is different than most others and so are the circumstances.
Frank
Title: Re: I want to leave, someone on the island smashed our carwindow last night
Post by: TheSoccerMom on February 18, 2007, 08:30:18 PM
Well, Frank, I hope you won't think me presumptuous, since I have never met you, but you seem to have a LOT going for you, and you have a lot of intelligence, wit, and desire. Those things coupled with some stubbornness, or whatever that word is, I know -- PERSISTENCE --- will help you to achieve the things that you would like.
One of the guys I work with had this quote on a little, smashed piece of paper in his pack; he carried it with him everywhere. So, I copied it, and now carry it with me everywhere. I really think it is true:
PERSISTENCE
Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education alone will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
It says Calvin Coolidge (a U.S. President who was known for his quiet stubbornness) is the source, but I woudn't know for sure if that is accurate. No matter, I like it! Sometimes, it gives me a much-needed reminder to just keep working toward the things I think are important.... just a jab for me to try to keep things in persepctive.
